Wrong Side of Heaven
by LuxahHeart
Summary: Sequel to Carnival of Rust. After having used Black Dranzer Kain is left fighting the darkness, though without relying on his father's he's lost and alone with no one to turn to. Ray is pregnant again, while Kai has his own problems trying to keep his business running along with a secret past of his own that he has yet to tell Ray about. Cover photo is mine. Blood, Violence, Yaoi
1. It Has Begun

**Author's note:**

 **Welcome back to the sequel to Carnival of Rust. This is a bit of backstory for this chapter, Kai is a bit OOC in this, but I tried to keep up his cocky attitude best I could.**

 **The chapter is a song by Starset called It Has Begun, I do not own the song or any of the other's that I will be using.**

 **Enjoy, let me know what you think, it's a bit of a slow beginning.**

* * *

 **Kai's POV/ February 13** **th**

It took us an hour to get back from the airport after dropping all our guests off, seeing them off before they boarded and left. My home had never been so crowded before, having the old team and Mariah with us for half a month was tiring. Ray had explained to them all what had happened over the years and why he had left so unexpectedly, it took a while for them to grasp the concept that he had been pregnant, and was pregnant again. Upon meeting Kain they couldn't deny it though, he didn't seem to mind their constant questions and he looked to be rather enjoying himself in their company. We had all exchanged numbers once again, promising to stay in touch now; well Ray and Kain did.

Their lives seemed to have been going better than ours had, Tyson and Max were together and had been for quite a while now; starting five years after I had left. Hilary went off to beauty school, after I left, and now she owned her own salon. Kenny was head developer of the BBA, while Tyson was now chairman; having taken over Dickenson's place. Max was a stay at home father to their three kids, all ranging in age. The oldest Mako was twelve, then they had a six-year-old Charlotte, and ten-month-old Judy; named after Max's mother who had died in a car accident shortly before the baby had been born. Daichi hadn't come, they told me he ran back off to whatever place he had come from after they all turned eighteen.

It was nice seeing them, but even through the years they still grated on my nerves. Tyson's eating habits hadn't died down in the slightest, Mako had Max's sugar addiction and it didn't help Charlotte did either. Luckily, we didn't have to entertain the kids all that much, Kain practically took them under his wing and they stuck to him like glue; bless that child of mine. I think the attention on him has helped him, I know he's still having problems with what happened the month before. Coming close to killing his father, the hold Black Dranzer has on him, so the momentary distraction was good for him.

I know Ray has noticed it, but there's not much we can do for him besides be here for him. His grades haven't slipped, but he isn't coming home when we request him to be. He's sneaking around a lot and I don't think he's been making many friends here, I've offered to take them back to Shang Hai, I can move my company wherever I want, but Ray has told me it's not necessary. Next month his friends from China will be here, and so we're holding out hope that he'll turn around and start acting more himself.

Having Ray back in my life is as if we had never split to begin with, he was always adaptable to how I worked things when I was captain, so I wasn't all too surprised when he just fell in step with my life. The only thing that's a bit different is we can't go more than two nights without sex, well I can it's him who's become the sex addict; guess being abstinent for fifteen years can really get to you. For once I'm sad to admit it, but I need a break and I think Kain does too. Every morning he'll greet us with this sloppy smile and that look in his eyes that he knows what we did, it doesn't matter if I've bathed three times before stepping out of my room, he just _knows_. I put his more permanent room as far away as possible on the second floor, but his damn hearing is just _that_ good, and it didn't matter.

Tala and Bryan have been around, at first it took a while and a bit of mediating between Kain and myself until we knew his father wasn't going to kill Bryan, for having helped our son get kidnapped. Tala thought it was the most hysterical thing in the world, the way Ray snarled and yelled and threatened his lover. In the end, the first time they came around went without incident. Ray still seems a bit tense around Bryan at times, but after a few hours of them being around each other the tension in the air leaves and they act like old high school friends.

After having come home from the airport I found myself in my study, having to catch up on my work before it completely fell apart. The past month with Boris trying to kill Ray and me, to having the house completely packed has caused me to fall back. I have to finish up the paper work for the ending of the year, and start work on what's already been done for this year before it's too late and I lose everything. Kain went off somewhere after we got inside, Ray meandered around the house for a while till he found me in the study; and I'm not surprised that he did.

"What can I do for you?" I asked, the exasperated tone evident but he still came and sat on the corner of my desk and faced me.

"Hm, just seeing what you were up to." He shrugs, but he doesn't look at the computer to actually see what I am doing; nor do I think he really cares.

His white shirt hugs his stomach, it's slightly bumping out now as he's about in his second month; eleven weeks along I think. He's kept his hair loose in a braid or simple pony-tail for a while, I think he's too tired to actually fight with it at this point. His morning sickness has finally died down, I had no idea one could throw up eight times in one day before this. We'll find out whether the baby is a boy or girl in April, but for now I'd rather not wish that to come sooner than it needs to. I'm still in the early stages of processing it all, trying to get things settled before hand.

"Just work, that's all." I motion to the computer, as I can tell he was getting annoyed by me not saying anything.

"Okay…" He bites his bottom lip and starts to kick his bare feet a bit, since they're barely touching the floor.

It must be an Asian thing, but neither of them wear their shoes past the foyer. I'll be honest, after living in Japan for half of my teenage years it was a habit I had to break after leaving.

"What are you doing?" I manage, since he's gone quiet again.

"Not much, Kain's in the kitchen raiding it right now." He slightly chuckles. "Think Tyson's eating habits have rubbed off on him."

"Better not have." I warn, but he just laughs again.

"Thank you, for getting them to come out here. It was fun."

"If you count Charlotte breaking my mother's forty-thousand-dollar vase as fun…" I roll my eyes.

"Well… No… Not that in particular…"

"Then, Mako and Tyson breaking the diving board in the pool house."

"Not that either."

"Max was on a complete sugar rush the entire time, and half the time he spoke to me I didn't understand a damn thing he said."

"That's just him." He flicks his wrist with his words.

"Then, Mariah let Charlotte get a hold of her hair dye. She was pink for a week, along with the carpet in the living room. You know there's still a spot the maids can't get out, right?" I raise an eyebrow to him and he's no longer smiling.

"Why are you being like this?"

"I'm just telling you." I shrug.

"Don't you have work?" He interjects, and something gleams in his eyes that I can only describe as annoyance.

"I do. Glad you remembered." Now I'm just being a cocky bastard because it's fun.

"Then get to it." He huffs, motioning to me then to the computer.

"Then you should go." I offer, and he feigns annoyance for a moment before jumping off the desk.

"DAD!" Kain yells before Ray has even made it back around the front of my desk.

"WHAT?!" Ray calls back, after composing himself from the sudden outburst.

"NOT YOU, THE OTHER ONE!" He says and Ray's shoulder slumps.

"Am I not good enough now?" He mumbles under his breath and hangs his head.

My son has become attached to my hip, when he wants something he comes to me. I'm more laxed with the things he wants, like drinking, but we don't tell Ray this. Nor have I told him of Kain's smoking habit, or mine. It's something we do to 'bond', I'm not pleased with it since he is underaged, but it takes the stress off and I can't stand it when he is stressed. A stressed Kain equals an angry Kain, which equals an angrier Kai and that leaves one very confused and often hurt Ray. Even though Kain has changed there are a few things he still does that annoy the piss out of me, like yelling through the house to get my attention.

"I'll go see what he wants then, how many times have we told him not to yell through the house?" I ask walking past Ray, who just shrugs.

Ray stays in the study as I search out our son, I find him in the kitchen sitting on the counter. He's sitting on it with his legs crossed, a pickle jar between his legs and its half empty. My son, the weird oddity that he already is, is even more so since he doesn't eat the pickles whole. No, he skins them, with his teeth, and then spits the skins out and then eats the damn pickles. So, beside him lay the discarded skins all over the counter with a few on the floor beneath him.

"You're going to clean that up." I scorn, crossing my arms over my chest as I step into the room. He gives me a grin, and a fang sticks out as he looks up from the pickle jar.

"Yeah, of course. So, I was wondering… If I could go to the movies…" He starts, normally I'd say this a normal request, but I can see there's something in his eyes that say otherwise. His voice is slightly pleading, at least more than usual. I cock an eyebrow, since he stopped talking trying to read my facial expressions.

"Um… You see, I met someone at school… An I kind of like her… So… I was wanting to take her out tomorrow night…" He scratches the back of his head, his eyes left mine and now he's starring at the floor.

"You couldn't ask Ray this?"

"Dad doesn't want me to date…" Ah, there it is. I simply nod and think it over, I already allow him to do too much behind Ray's back. I don't know why he doesn't want Kain to date, so maybe I should ask him.

"Why not?"

"Dunno, he never said. Just that he didn't want me dating before I'm eighteen." He shrugs, okay that's not a good enough excuse. If memory serves me right, Ray was sixteen when we started dating; a bit hypocritical my lover is.

"I don't care, just don't tell Ray. And stop yelling through the damn house." I scorn before leaving him, turning on heels back to the study.

"Thanks dad!" He calls, but I don't bother to turn back.

Maybe this'll be good for him, I trust him enough not to be stupid. He's fifteen, he should know better than to be stupid. It's a simple date to the movies, that won't be too bad I suppose. As I come back into the study Ray is still there, this time he's laid out on the sofa to the left of the room reading a book.

"He alright?" He asks as I walk by him.

I simply nod to him as I take my seat back down at my desk, praying to get work done before one of them starts to bother me again. All goes well, for about thirty minutes.

"Why does he constantly go to you now? I'm the one that raised him." He pouts over his book, and I can tell this really does bother him.

"Making up for lost time?" I suggest, though I know that's bullshit. "Jealous?" I smirk, and he bristles at my comment.

"No!" He couldn't have sounded more unconvincing if he tried. "I just don't get it, is all…" He huffs and settles back on the couch.

I don't know what he wants me to say, so I go back to my work. By now it's nearing seven and he gets up without another word and leaves to make dinner, since coming here I haven't had to have any servants cook for me now. I only have a maid come every now and then, as he's taken up to doing that on his own as well. Without further disruptions I'm able to peacefully finish December's charts, and file them away. Before I can even get to January's charts, Kain yells out for me again. Having been so wrapped up in the work, I falter, and my fist goes through the monitor as my foot kicks the legs of the desk.

"Fuck!" I manage to growl out, and stand up even though my toes are screaming in pain; I'm going to kill that son of mine.

I stomp down the hall to the kitchen, where he's seating with a stupid grin on his face as he watched me favor the foot I just murdered against my desk. It's like he knows what he's done, and he's enjoying it.

"What did I say about yelling through the goddamn house?!" I shout, and Ray looks up at me worried.

"Sorry, dinners done." He points to the plates of food on the table, leave it to Ray to make a three-course meal.

I growl in my throat at him before taking a seat at the head of the table, Ray is on my right, as always, and Kain's sitting a bit further down by Ray. Normally he sits on my left, but since he knows I'd have been ready to hit him he chose to sit far away; he's not as stupid as he looks.

"Keep this up and you won't be able to go tomorrow." I say as he's still snickering while eating, he drops his fork and looks over at me. Ray does as well, this time with a questioning look.

"Go where?"

"Nowhere if he doesn't straighten up." I comment, I'm not foolish enough to rat myself out for letting Kain go on a date.

"Where are you going tomorrow Kain?" Ray turns to our son, giving him a pointed stare. Clearly, he didn't like my answer and now he's on the hunt to find out, I should be worried that Kain will spill but I'm not.

"Dad was going to take me out and show me his work, after school." He lies through his teeth, which he does much better than his father.

"Oh… I really don't want you back there…" Since the incident, Ray hasn't stepped foot near my work nor has he allowed Kain to do so either.

"It's a warehouse, not the headquarters." I step in. "He wanted to see some of the new models of the rifles we've developed."

"Oh yea, because being around guns is _so_ much better." Ray huffs out, I blame his mood swings on the pregnancy.

"There's a gun in every drawer of this house, some behind false panels in the walls." I say, I know he knows this since I told him.

"It's fine, don't worry about it." He shakes his head, but something else is bothering him.

"Do you want to come?" I ask, knowing how he already feels left out it won't hurt to ask, even though I know he'll say no.

"No, you two go on. I have to make a grocery list and set up an appointment with my doctor." He still doesn't sound better, but I knew he'd say no and I think I saw Kain breathe a sigh of relief.

Dinner was quiet after that, neither Ray or Kain said much. Afterwards Kain picked up the dishes, put the leftovers away while Ray and I headed to our room. Something in the back of my head was still nagging at me, there was something else bothering Ray and it was starting to get on my nerves that he hadn't said anything yet. Shutting the door behind us, he's already crawling into the bed.

"What's wrong?" I stand over him, as he's laid down now.

"Nothing." He breathes out, which screams that he's lying.

"You sure about that?" I press, I'll give him one more try before I head to the shower; I can only take so much.

"Yeah, just tired." He fakes a yawn and rolls over, he never has his back to the door.

I give up and leave him, he'll tell me when he wants to I suppose. I leave the bathroom door cracked as I step through, shedding my clothes before stepping into the shower. Halfway through I didn't even hear him come in, my mind was blank for the most part but he's just that damn quiet.

"Want to tell me what's wrong now?" I ask, not turning to face him.

"I want to marry you." I freeze, and it's not because he just turned the water temperature down either; I like hot showers he likes cold.

"Why?" I ask, though I don't think those were the right words. I don't mind marrying him, I would in a heartbeat, but I don't want to do it just because we have to since we have kids together.

"Well, for starters I love you. Second, we have a fifteen-year-old son and are about to have a baby. I don't see why we shouldn't, do you?"

This, I already knew he would say. This is not why I want to marry him, nor the reason I can't. I do love him, and only him. Maybe it'd be a good idea to tell him my little secret then, though I don't think he'll like it very much.

"I love you too." I say, turning to embrace him, but he pulls away. He's too smart to realize the ruse, so I drop my hands to my sides.

"So, why haven't you at least asked me?" His tone gets colder and he narrows his eyes. Just as I can read him like an open book, he has the same ability now.

"I would, if I could." I begin, voice in a low whisper as I know he's about to explode.

"What's that mean?" He raises an eyebrow, a habit he got from being with and around me too much.

"I'm already married." I could hardly hear myself say it, but with his hearing I know he did.

He makes some kind of noise between a gasp and a growl, then it gets quiet beyond the sounds of the water coming down on top of us.

"What the fuck does that mean?!" He shrieks, if I wasn't used to Tyson screaming all the time when we were teenagers, I wouldn't have been prepared for that.

"It means, that I am already married."

"To who?!"

"I don't really remember her name…" I shrug, and it's the truth. "I haven't seen her in ten years, she up and left after our first three years of marriage." I explain, having regained my voice to speak louder than above a whisper.

"I'm guess it was an arranged marriage?" He crosses his arms over his chest, another habit he picked up from me.

"Yes, so it never worked out between us and she left. We never divorced though, so technically I'm still married and I can't marry you because of that."

"So, divorce her?"

"I would have, if I knew where she ran off too. And no, before you ask, we never slept with each other." I could see the question coming before he even spoke it and he closes his mouth quickly.

"Guess we better look for her then." He sighs out with a shrug.

"I've tried. It's like she fell off the planet."

"Well, we'll have to try harder. I'm not going to let you stay married, where we can't because she ran off. Stupid twit." He mumbles the last part and it causes a slight chuckle to pass my lips.

"Does marrying me, mean that much to you?" I cock my own eyebrow up at him, and he studies me for a second.

"It should mean as much to you, as it does to me. So, yes. It means a lot to me that we do get married, and not just because we have kids together but because we want to."

"Alright, I'll see what I can do." I offer, and he gives me a smile in return before spacing the gap between us, wrapping his cold wet arms around my neck and initiating a kiss.

I already know where this is going, the way he's trying to secretly grind his hips into mine along with the moan between the kiss, even though I've done nothing to warrant him to be moaning yet. I pull back, placing a hand on his chest and he gives me a confused look.

"Not tonight kitten, I have to get up early." The confused look turns into a pout.

* * *

I don't know why I bothered trying to get out of sex, it didn't work, like I knew it wouldn't. At least it put him in a better mood, and relieved some of the new stress that's found its way into my life; as if I didn't already have enough. He fell asleep almost immediately after, and I slipped out of the bedroom to have a midnight smoke. After going the length of the house to the backdoor in the kitchen, I step out and Kain's already sitting out there with his own cigarette between his fingers.

"Hey." He doesn't even bother looking at me as I sit in the chair across from him, he's starring out at a tree in the yard.

"Light?" I ask, realizing I left mine in my pants pocket.

Once again, he doesn't bother looking at me and fishes out his lighter from his pants and hands it to me. I hand it back, and he takes it without a word. I don't pester him, he'll talk if he feels like it and right now I'd like to be left to my own thoughts for the moment. He's finished his cigarette by the time he lets out a breath of air, fishing for another one which I find odd as he normally just has one at a time.

"Dad?" He whispers, still not looking at me as he blows out a cloud of smoke.

I sit back in the chair, blowing out my own cloud but don't say anything.

"Did you ever… Did you ever have nightmares after using Black Dranzer?"

"Yes."

"I mean like… Really… Explicit ones, ones that feel more like reality than a dream?"

"It would depend on what the dream was about." I explain, but his attention is still at the tree.

"What if… What if somehow you realized later, that the dream wasn't a dream at all?" His voice cracks slightly, and I can see he's starting to shake a bit, but I don't think it's from the cold air as he has a blanket wrapped around him.

"How would you know the difference to begin with? Did you wake up in your bed, or somewhere else? Did you have the feeling that you had actually been awake, or slightly awake to everything going around you?" I ask, and he goes quiet again for a moment before taking in a shaky breath.

"I woke up in bed… It didn't feel like I had been awake, but not nearly enough like I had been asleep either. It's a bit foggy… There wasn't much to focus on around me at the time, it was kind of dark and cold but warm at the same time. At least… I was warm the entire time."

"What happened? Do you remember?" By now I've finished my cigarette, and get another as he hands me his lighter again without me asking.

"I… I… I might have killed someone."


	2. Imperfection pt1

**Author's note:**

 **Already I'm so thankful to those who have taken the time to read this, to my loyal readers and reviewers thank you so much. Without you, I wouldn't have the patient nor the drive to continue doing this.**

 **The song for this chapter is Imperfection by Evanescence, I do not own it in anyway, or Beyblade or it's characters. All I own are the OC's in this.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ February 14** **th**

 _It was dark out, but I didn't know the actual time as I hadn't bother to look when I left. It was cold out, the last bits of the snow storm from the days before still around as the snow crunched under my feet as I made my way out of the grounds. I didn't bother using the gate, it would only alert the dogs, so I jumped the wall that bordered the perimeter of the yard. Even though it was late and cold, and the temperature was only going to drop more, I wasn't cold. I didn't bring a jacket of any kind, just in my sweats and sweater that I sleep in. The air and wind barely caused me to wince from the sharpness of it, normally I would have been near death from freezing, but something was keeping me warm. Something, inside me, was keeping me warm._

 _This something, is what I followed. Beforehand, after I first woke up, I didn't know where I was going or what I was even doing. I felt this tug in my chest and followed it, if I went the wrong way the tug would jerk me elsewhere and it would only calm once I was going the right way. Normally, I wouldn't have freaked out, but this time I slightly was because I didn't even fully remember waking up. It still felt as though as I was asleep, just making my way through the town without a real sense of direction or feel for the cold air._

 _The darkness of the night was never something that bothered me, my eye-sight is well off being part neko-jin. In all honesty, nothing was bothering me except that I didn't feel awake or asleep. I was too warm to have been awake in this thirty below weather, and I wasn't all that aware of where I was. Even with my eye-sight, things were a bit blurry as if I had been sprayed in the eyes with water and hadn't been able to rub the water out._

 _That tug, that beautiful tug I had guiding me kept me going. I could actually hear it calling my name, and the voice. It sent shivers down my spine, it was too calm but demanding all the same. Kain, it would call out, and I would just keep walking. It got louder, more demanding but then at the same time soothing. As if it were secretly telling me that I was going the right way, doing the right thing._

 _The heat started to turn up, I was sweating now. The voice was all but flirting with me now, it sounded so pleased with what I had done. I didn't know what it was I had done just yet; the water was still in my eyes. I tried to rub it away, but the voice turned angry and told me not to, so I didn't. It tugged me again, this time I followed it to a store that's open 24/7. I left the alleyway, at least that's what I think it was._

 _There was a woman behind the counter, it was hard to see what her expression was seeing me in nothing but what I was in. Her voice though, was filled with concern like she was my mother, even though her voice was drowned out like she was speaking underwater. After a while of just standing there, my body felt like it was on fire again. This time, the voice told me I could rub my eyes and look, so I did._

 _After I looked at the woman, she was slumped against a dumpster. Her chest was ripped open, blood was pooling all around her and I could feel something on my hands, so I looked down at them. They were covered in blood, her blood. The voice told me he was happy, that he was proud of me. I wanted to scream, but instead I laughed, and I agreed with him. That I was proud of myself too, and the more I laughed the hotter I got, and I enjoyed the warmth._

 _Somebody else screamed amongst my laughing, and when that scream hit my ears I woke up in my bed. Back in the house, in my room. There was no blood on my hands, there was no warmth or heat in the pit of my stomach, and there was no voice congratulating me. Instead, I was only warmed up slightly from my blankets and the dying fire in the fire place. I had a searing head ache, and my scar felt like it was on fire. I was sweating, even though I wasn't all that hot to begin with. I wasn't even wearing my sweater in bed, I had taken it off before going to bed. Of course, as I woke up a bit more, the woman's face hit me, and I screamed._

 _Dad came up a few minutes later, trying to calm me down and asking what was wrong. I couldn't tell him, he's already freaking out enough as it is with me skipping school and all; how could I put this on him? He coaxed me back to sleep, as he sat there and watched me. I felt him going to leave, so I woke up and asked him to stay; I haven't done that since I was six. He stayed with me that night, and since the incident I hadn't had a nightmare._

* * *

I turn to my other father, Kai, he hadn't said anything while I told him, and his cigarette burnt out as he forgot about it. I try to read his expression, but it's still really hard to see what it is he's thinking or feeling. I don't know how my birth father ever understands him, one minute I can read him the next I can't tell if he's only playing or if he'll actually murder me. It's like walking on eggshells around this guy, while my birth father was never easy to begin with, dad has nothing on Kai.

"Dad?" I manage, though my voice is a bit rough from the cold and the smoke I've been inhaling since ten; whereas it's now one in the morning.

That seems to have brought him from his thinking, as he glances my way for a second and flicks his cigarette away from him over the railing of the porch. He then sighs out, running a hand through his bangs before crossing his arms over his chest, which I've come to realize says we're about to have a serious conversation.

"When did this happen?" Not what I was hoping he'd say, I was looking more along the lines of 'no, that's impossible. You only dreamt of killing two random people, sill boy.'

"Two nights ago." I answer, regaining a bit of my normal voice and pull my blanket closer around myself as a wind decides to pick up.

"Ray never told me of that happening, obviously I didn't hear you scream. Did you tell him what happened?"

"No, I just told him I had a bad dream and he didn't press it further. Why do you think he didn't tell you?" I cock my head a bit, I thought these two told each other everything; aside from what we're out here doing now, and the few drinks Kai will pass me when dad's not looking.

"We don't tell each other everything, obviously this being one of those things." He motions to us out here, and I nod. "I could, if that's something you want though." Now I'm walking on eggshells again, why does he do this?

"No, please don't. I've already had to lie my way around this the first time he found out." I try to sound as pleading as I can, while giving him my best kitty face I can muster; it used to work on dad till I turned ten.

At this he cocks an eyebrow at me, and I've taken that as a sign to continue the story instead of letting it drop. He doesn't like having to guess things, he'd rather be told everything from the start.

"I started smoking when I turned thirteen and dad found the pack, but I said they were Chou's. I'm actually surprised he believed me at the time, if it wasn't for his sense of smell being dulled he would have figured it out by now."

"What caused that?" Kai asks, which I'm surprised he never thought to ask before now.

"Punched him in the nose and it broke." I shrug, and for a second I can see a mix of anger and question cross his features.

"What do you mean, you punched him in the nose?" His voice gets cold, and I can't help but smile a bit; he's just so adorable when he fawns over dad like that, he's so protective of him.

"Well… I got mad, because he was mad, so I punched him. He punched me back of course, and then grounded me for three months. I don't remember what it was I even did, I was like ten when it happened." The same year my kitty eyes started to fail me, see the connection here?

For some reason I feel we're straying from the original conversation now, but I don't really want to go back to it. I like this, just being able to talk with my other dad like there's not a care in the world. Sadly, he thinks we should go back to the other conversation.

"Whose scream did you wake up to?"

"No one's that I recognized." Dad's.

"What about the voice that told you what to do?"

"Same, it didn't sound familiar at all." Yours.

"The woman?" He asks after sighing, but at this point I don't know what that sigh means.

"Never seen her in my life, the store I was in wasn't familiar either and with my vision still blurry it was hard to even tell what store it was. Half of them look the same anyways, so it could have been any of them around here." Like she could have been my sister.

He simply nods, mulling over everything I've said. The silence that passes us is a calm one, and I'm slightly shaking because the temperature is dropping again. I can't see how he's not shaking right now, he's in nothing but a pair of sweats and a dark-blue t-shirt without any shoes on either. I'm in my normal sleeping attire, with socks and fuzzy slippers with a heavy jacket and my blanket.

"Well, since you woke up in bed. It couldn't have happened, at all. There were no news reports of anyone being murdered and found in either an alleyway, or at the back of a 24/7 store. Are you still getting these kinds of nightmares?" He looks a bit concerned for me now, and I shake my head no.

"Not since that night, before that they were constant, but I had never killed anyone before then. This was the first like that, the others were just repeats of the battle we had." He nods again, going back to that off distant look that tells me he's thinking again; he does that too much.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much then, if you start having them again just tell us and we'll see what we can do for you. Skipping school, that has to stop though." He narrows his eyes at me, and I can only nod because now I'm scared that he's going to hit me.

"I won't, I promise." I quickly bob my head up and down, secretly praying he won't hit me.

"Good, you're already walking on thin ice as it is with me. Don't make me regret going behind your father's back and allowing you to do this, drink, and date. Show some kind of respect for us, at least." I never would have guess him to be so strict, or even have a parental mode but it's now in full force and I can only still bob my head in understanding; good lord he's terrifying.

He's right though, whatever his reasons for allowing me to do these things behind dad's back, I shouldn't take for granted. I should respect them more, at least him. Don't get me wrong, I love my birth father, he did raise me on his own for fifteen years and tried to protect me. Though, sometimes I hate him. I don't want to, but I do. He lied to me all my life about who I was, _what_ I was, and who my other father was. Of course, I'm going to feel a bit of resentment against him for that, I shouldn't since I know why, but I can't help how I feel at times.

"Thanks dad." I break the silence, and stop bobbing since it's starting to hurt my neck.

He simply 'hn's' at me, and stands going towards the door. He pauses slightly, I'm watching him and starting to gather my blanket around me as I stand. He turns and looks over his shoulder, anger crosses his face again and I gulp rather loudly; and here I was thinking I got away without being hit.

"Don't **ever** hit your father again, do I make myself clear?" Awwwww, he's so protective. I have never heard his voice get so deep before, or threatening.

"Crystal." I say, slightly shaking and this time it's not because I'm cold.

He smirks at me and opens the door, holding it slightly and I walk/run past him, barely missing his hand coming at the back of my head. I knew he was going to hit me, luckily, I'm faster and dodged it and I can hear him faintly curse under his breath as I rush to the stairs that are in the kitchen by the door.

* * *

By the time I reach my room, it's now one thirty. I'm not that tired but I laid on the bed anyways, keeping my blanket wrapped around me as I stared at the ceiling and the fan that was currently turned off. It was cold enough in the room without it spinning around, even with the fire in the fire place. I hate the cold, but I can't do much to change that now.

It isn't until I can hear Kai downstairs getting ready for work do I get up, glancing at the clock on the wall again I realize it's only five in the morning. He normally doesn't get up until seven, so being the curious little bugger that I am, I slink out of my room to investigate. Much to my dismay, he catches on that I'm watching him. For someone not being a neko-jin, he could certainly pass for being one. His hearing is too damn good, he has this sixth sense that tells him he's being watched, he is quick when he wants to be, and flexible; but I've only heard that when I'm trying NOT to hear them. Subtle my parents are NOT in their love making, sometimes I think my birth father just doesn't care he's scarring me for life.

"You should be asleep." Kai tells me, as if I didn't already know that. He doesn't bother looking up from his cup of coffee as he speaks, I ignore him for the most part while fetching my own mug.

It wasn't until I met him, did I understand why I loved this stuff so much. Dad hates it with a passion, but I hate tea and love coffee like Kai does. Since I've been in his life, we've had to keep at least three extra containers of it laying around because we go through it so quickly.

"Couldn't go back." I tell him, sitting to his left at the table. "Why are you up so early?"

"I have three meetings today, then after that I have to finish the logs for last month."

"But, you hardly slept." Can anyone say 'workaholic' much?

"That's why I have this." He holds his own mug up before taking a drink of it, reminding me that I have my own and I take a sip of my own coffee.

"You're still okay with me going later today to the movies, right?"

Once again that ever famous eyebrow raises, he goes back into his 'thinking' look before speaking.

"That's fine. As long as you stay in school, the entire day." He warns, giving me a pointed stare.

I smile, my best damn smile I can where both my fangs stick over my lower lip. It used to work on dad, let's see if it'll work on him. Nope, he just ignores it and continues to drink his coffee as if I'm not sitting here. After he's done, he stands and leaves his cup on the table for me to clean up, as it's my chore to do, before walking to the foyer. I've finished mine, but go for seconds, if I have to endure a full day of school and a date I'll need about thirty of these, so I can avoid collapsing from sleep deprivation.

* * *

Walking, has never bothered me before, in the nice warm climate of China it was actually something I looked forward to doing. Here, in the freezing pits of Russia, I hate it. Luckily, I'm quick even in snow, and there's a school bus waiting for me to take me off. My grumpy mood slightly elated, until the driver told me the heater was broken, so I slump down in my seat with my grumpy mood back in full force. Pulling my jacket tighter around me, my backpack on the floor by my feet.

The ride itself is slow, I'm the second stop and there's thirteen more to go. Around the eighth stop, if when trouble arrives. Right now, he won't do anything until his other lackeys show up so for now he ignores the driver's rules about assigned seats and plops right behind me. I can already feel the hair on the back of my neck standing on end, and it's not because I'm still freezing my ass off here. I tense, as I can hear him shift behind me, but I don't dare look back.

Another two stops and his lackeys come aboard, only one of them follow the driver's rules, but for me that's only a bad thing because his seat IS beside me. I shuffle over to the window, somewhere I'd rather not be and keep my bag clutched between my feet. Another stop and then it starts, at first, it's the subtle knee in the back of the seat then the following snicker and threat. I normally elbow the knee through the back of the seat, which only causes them to snicker and threat more, but for today I'm ignoring them.

"Cat got your tongue today _Hiwatari_?" The leader sneers, leaning over the back of my seat as he pushes his index finger into my cheek.

I pull away as far as I can without hitting my head against the window, as I'm already practically sitting on top of it and not my seat now. No, they don't know I'm part neko-jin, to be honest I don't know why I've become victim to them. The leader is a senior, while the one sitting beside me is in the same grade I'm in while the other is two years behind us. The senior's name is Vladimir, the one beside me is Kuzma, while the freshman is Yegor.

"What's your problem _Hiwatari_? Too good to talk to us mere simple peasants today?" Vladimir always sneers out my last name, but I don't think that's why I'm their victim.

"Just knock it off." I huff in a whisper, I don't want to get in trouble today because I told Kai I wouldn't skip school, so I could go out.

"Oh, now the wuss wants to speak. Did you bring me my money _Hiwatari_?" Vladimir asks, getting snickers from his two buddies.

"What money?" I don't know why I responded, turning to look at him hanging over my right shoulder.

"What money he asks. Shame _Hiwatari_ , I thought you were smarter than that." He shakes his head, and his blue colored bangs sway in front of his brown eyes.

"I don't owe you any money." I hiss out, now they're pissing me off. I am smart, that's why I'm one grade ahead of where I should be, and I'll be graduating a year ahead of those my age.

"You sure about that? I could have sworn you owed me something for the way you've been eyeing MY girl." My blood runs cold for a second, Natasha isn't with Vladimir, but I guess I shouldn't have been that stupid to realize he's be trying to get with her as well.

"She's a person, not an object and doesn't belong to you. Last I saw, you two weren't together and so that means I don't owe you shit." I spit out, turning away from him now as I pull my arms around me tighter.

"Oh, you're just spit-fire today aren't you? Well, let me tell you something really quick _Hiwatari_." He leans over further, grabbing the top of my hair and jerking it up to where our eyes meet.

I will my pupils not to slit, even though every fiber of my being is screaming at me to claw his eyes out. Instead I just hiss out, but I don't try and pull away since it'll only cause a scene and nobody, including the driver, is not paying attention right now and I'd like it to stay that way.

"Stay away from Natasha, or I'll fucking kill you." He threatens in a low whisper, his face mere inches from mine.

I'd say he's intimidating, but he isn't. I've faced worse before, one being my birth father and the other being my other father; he's got nothing on those two and that's even when Kai is in a good mood. On top of that, I've faced death and I'm not weak by any means. I endure their bullying, just because I don't need the extra attention. I don't need my father's trying to step in, or the teachers or any other adult because I can handle this on my own.

"I'd like to see you fucking try." I snarl back, baring my fangs and he lets go of my hair and for a second looks scared.

I've never revealed this to them, always careful not to as I don't need them to bother me about other things. Already it's been about the damn scar that runs across the side of my face, then it was the fact that I had two fathers; even if they didn't know I was actually birthed by one of them. Then it went to the fact that I was Kai Hiwatari's son, which led to the taunting of being the son of a billionaire business man known for murdering his competition. In all honesty, you'd think THEY would be scared of Me just because of that knowledge, but no. If anything, it's caused me to have no friends, no social life outside of the house, and nobody to talk to.

Natasha, a senior, was the first to ever actually say anything to me. Whether that had to with the fact that I ran straight into her chest during gym, two weeks ago, isn't all that relevant. At least it was something, even if it was along the lines of 'watch where you're going you dumbass'. Since then though, we have an occasional talk at lunch or in gym. She doesn't seem to mind that I come from a nontraditional home, since half of the kids I go to school with are Orthodox Christian. She's cute, not overly hot or not hot, she's got beautiful long brown hair and green eyes. She's shorter than me, which is always a plus. She's rather tan, for being Russian, since most of them are either just as pale as Kai or paler; take Bryan and Tala for example.

"What kind of freak are you?" Kuzma asks, brining me from my inner thinking, not realizing that my pupils have indeed slit and I'm still baring my fangs.

Luckily I don't have to answer as the bus comes to a stop at the drop off at the school, the second the others in front of me have risen and left I grab my bag and jump over the seat in front of me to get away from them. They weren't going to let me out otherwise, the driver gives me a disapproving look that I ignore before jumping the three steps of the bus. I'm too quick for them and rush off to my first class, all the while I can hear them cursing under their breaths after me.

* * *

Boring, everything these teachers spit out at me is absolutely boring. I guess I should be happy that I can at least understand them, since they are speaking English to me. Something dad made sure I learned, but beyond that I can only speak Chinese. Of course I've learned the more important Russian words, like zhopa, blyad, chert, der'mo; all thanks to my favorite Russian uncles. These few curse words won't help me in everyday life, but it sure is fun yelling them out between Chinese and English at the three assholes that bother me.

Math class isn't all that bad, since I get to see Natasha here as well. We have lunch, gym, and math together and she sits in front of me. I can smell her perfume from here, and no it's not because I leaned over or anything, I'm not a half neko-jin for nothing. As I'm blocking out what the teacher is saying, I'm trying to find the courage to ask her to the movies later. Funny thing about all of that is I haven't actually asked her to go with me, I just _happened_ to over hear her and her friends saying they were going.

I've thought of playing it cool and just _showing_ up at the same theatre, seeing the _same_ movie as them. Or, actually growing a pair between my legs and asking her if she would like my company. The only problem I have, beyond not having the balls to actually ask her yet, is that Zuma is in our class as well and he's been watching me the entire time. He sits in the far corner of the room, but I know his eyes have been trying to burn a hole in the back of my head. Lunch it is then, that's where I'll ask her since it'll just be us.

The bell rings, and before the teacher can stop any of us from gathering our things and leaving we all rush out. I avoid the crowds of people swarming the very narrow halls, trying to make sure nobody steps on my toes or I on theirs; steel toe boots don't feel all that well on other people's feet, so I've been told. Catching up to that familiar long brown hair, I follow its lead to the cafeteria all the way in and through the line. She doesn't realize I'm near her until I sit across the table with me tray, dropping my backpack to the side of the typical high school lunch table.

"What're you doing?" She asks, but there's no hint in her voice that she's put off by my presence.

"Eating lunch." I say, sitting down and start picking at the food.

"Yes… I can see that, but why are you sitting with me?"

"You're always alone, so am I. Figured we should talk more." I shrug, trying to sound casual while hiding the fact that I'm blushing like mad.

"Yes, but I'm only alone because none of my friends have lunch period with me. While you, just have no friends." Ouch, that hurt darling.

"I could leave, if you're that opposed to me sitting here." I feign going to leave, because even though what she said stung like a bitch. She's still not holding any kind of tone that would hint that she wants me to go, and for a second she looked like she regretted saying what she did.

"No, that's fine. Sit where you want, it doesn't bother me." She recovers quickly, going so far as grabbing my wrist.

"You sure?" I raise an eyebrow, damn habit I got from both my fathers. Dad did it so often, it wasn't until I met Kai did I realize he got it from him.

"Yeah, besides. The company will be nice anyways, plus if you wouldn't mind helping me with the homework assignment we got from math today."

"Sure, um… If you want… I was going to the movies tonight, and well… If you need my help… Maybe we could go together and then go over the homework afterwards?" I don't even bother trying the kitty eyes, they have failed me up to this point, so I won't bother since it'll probably only make me look less of a man.

"I totally would, but I was heading there tonight with my girlfriends." It took her less than a second to tell me that, and I half frown. "You can come along though, just so that way we can get through this homework. If you don't mind tagging along with a bunch of girls." She giggles, and my frown vanishes.

"I don't mind that at all, what time were you all going?" I have to pretend I don't know, because if she knew I had heard her conversation across the gym it'll only bring about questions I'm not ready to answer.

"Right after school, so you can just ride with us." Check and mate.

"Perfect."

* * *

Not perfect, this is NOT perfect. I've missed making the ride to the theater, I've missed my chance at being with Natasha and who do I have to thank for my mishap? Why my good buddy Vladimir and his two stooges, I decided to stay in school for this? To have my back and head thrown against the back wall of the school building, which I think might have split open a bit as I can feel blood trickling down my neck. The three assholes laugh as I struggle to stand back up, after he threw me against the wall he released my jacket.

"I told you _Hiwatari_ , to stay away from MY girl. Now, I have to kill you and then maybe you'll listen." Vladimir cracks his knuckles before reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket, my blood would have run cold if I hadn't been so damn used to this scene, and he pulls out a small gun.

Not counting the ones I've had pulled on my since finding my long-lost father, this would make about the thirteenth time I've had a gun pointed at me. After the fourth time it doesn't bother you all that much, so I didn't respond which only pissed the three off more.

"Am I supposed to be scared of that toy?" I stand my ground, ready to dodge because I know it's not a toy.

"You think you're so bad and tough? That scar does nothing for you, it just shows us how weak you really are." He cocks the hammer back, and I start to look for my escape route.

They don't know the meaning of what being strong is, they're the ones who are weak to begin with. As the minutes pass over us, there's this burning sensation in the pit of my stomach and the all too familiar voice in my head that's telling me to just kill them and not worry about it later. It's tempting, oh so tempting to obey but I can't, I know I can't. I have to fight this, even if it means getting shot at in the process.

I go to move the second he pulls the trigger; the gunshot rings out and the bullet only caught the inside of my jacket as I moved. They all curse out, but now I'm pissed since he actually shot at me and the burning in my stomach doubles. I lunge out at them with my claws outstretched, and they gasp as Vladimir pulls the trigger three more times; all missing.

My hand meets his face and the familiar feeling of blood coats my nails and fingers, he drops the gun and I kick it behind me. The angrier I get; the burning is rising into the pit of my throat and it feels just like how I did when I wielded Black Dranzer and almost killed my dad. I don't want to step that line again, so I hiss at them and glare hard.

"Leave me the fuck alone, if you know what's good for you." I lower my voice, almost sounding like Kai. My pupils are slit and I'm baring my fangs, they're all too stunned to speak for a second until Vladimir speaks up.

"This… This isn't over Hiwatari!" He yells out through his stuttering, and before any adult comes around because of the gunshot they take off.

I go and grab my backpack, the burning in me has died down and there's a new kind of burning in my side. Placing a hand over my left his I feel blood, and pull my hand back to see that my hand is covered in it. Apparently I didn't miss all his shots, it's not deep as it just grazed me, but damn it hurts.

"Mr. Hiwatari, what is going on?!" I don't know this man, but I'm assuming he's the principle of the school since he knows me and the way he looks just screams at me that he is.

His eyes glance to me, to the blood soaking through my shirt and then to the gun on the floor. I wait for him to put the pieces together, his face scrunches up and he walks over to me and grabs my arm.

"My office, now! We're calling your fathers this instant, the nurse is still here so she can tend to your wound till your fathers come and pick you up." He already pulling me with him, and I just follow him.

Perfect.


	3. Imperfection pt2

**Author's Note:**

 **It may seem a bit odd that these last two chapters were done in parts, but that's only because the first part was nearing 13 pages and I normally try to cap the chapters at 10. So instead of giving you a lengthy chapter, I split the two up. The song that the chapter is named after fits this second half a bit better anyways.**

 **Hint: The bold writing in Kain's speech is his second personality coming through.**

 **As always, thank you to Linvn89, LowerLevelMisfit, and KitsuneBlanc for always favoriting and following my stories since I came back to this site.**  
 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ February 14** **th**

It's a good thing that bullet only grazed my skin, otherwise I would have bled out by the time we reached the office of the school. The man who found me was indeed the principle, and after his initial anger subsided from finding me he started to slow down on our walk. He kept muttering something to me, but I blocked him out and have no clue if he was yelling at me or asking me questions.

We reached the office portion of the school, the poor nurse jumped right out of her skin when the principle slammed her door open. I pulled my arm away from his grip, leaving bruises on my skin; curse my fair complexion. I stood in front of the nurse, her eyes bugging out of her head and more so when I showed her my blood-soaked shirt.

"OH, MY LORD!" She screeched out, jumping from her chair and rushing around the small space of the clinic. "SIT!" She commanded, carrying all sorts of things in her arms as she nodded to one of those school clinic beds.

I nodded, dropping my bag beside me and sat down with a thump. Next thing I knew, my shirt was coming off over my head rather roughly, then there were gloved fingers touching and poking the wound a few times. Next came the burning, this time it was from the antiseptic she was using and not because I was losing my temper; in fact, I was actually very calm through all this.

"I'm going to phone your fathers now." The principle declared before stepping out, the nurse just nodded but I don't think she was actually paying attention.

"You're lucky it was just a surface wound." She mumbled, placing a butterfly stitch over the wound once she'd cleaned away the blood.

"Yeah…" Is all I can manage, grabbing my shirt.

"Here, don't put that back on." She shoves a spare shirt in my face, so I switch the two in my hands and place the new shirt over myself.

"Thanks… I should probably go to the office now." I'm getting more nervous now as I stand, swallowing hard because I don't know how my fathers are going to react to all of this.

I never told them I had a bully problem, I was trying to handle it myself because they both already have too much on their plates to worry about. Dad being pregnant, and still getting over the incident that happened a month ago. Kai has work, on top of dealing with the pregnancy as well. He may not act like it bothers him, but I can tell he's really stressed about it. I didn't want to add to their problems, sometimes that's all I think I am to them.

When I got into the principal's office, wound cleaned and fresh blood-free shirt. He ordered me to sit in the hall, while he went back outside with a police officer to retrieve the gun from where he left it. Sitting there my cell phone started to ring in my back pocket, without looking I answered.

"Hello?" I breathed out a bit exasperated.

"Kain? Where are you? We waited for like ever for you, but you never showed up, so we left." Natasha asks, we had exchanged numbers after lunch.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that Natasha. Something came up, and I couldn't make it. I'm sorry for not calling you sooner." I mumble out, sure I just got shot at but I'm not about to tell her that. I feel bad for having her and her friends wait up for me, they didn't have to do that.

"It's alright… Maybe later I can come over, so we can work on that homework assignment?" My heart flips a bit at the idea, but I don't know how this is going to go down once my father's get here.

"I'll have to ask, but I can't promise anything. If I can't get an answer, I'll just give you my answers once I finish it."

"Aw, that's so sweet of you Kain. Okay, I have to go now. Bye." She sings out to me and it's sounds beautiful, I don't get a chance to say goodbye as she's already hung up the phone.

I put my cell back in my pocket, shifting a bit so I can get it back where I normally keep it. Once it's settled, I hang my head as I cup my hands together over my legs. My ears perk up, I can hear my father's footsteps coming through the front of the school and my heart stops. Dad is walking rather fast, and his breathing pattern is quickened and he's growling in his throat. Kai is stomping through the doors, he's walking faster than dad but his breathing pattern is the same as it always is.

Willing my legs to work through my nervousness I stand, and shuffle my way to where they're at in the front of the building. I don't bother looking up at them, so I just stare at my feet. They don't say anything, I don't say anything, and the tension is thick around us until the principle comes back with the police man.

"Glad you two could make it, this way please." He calls, and they walk right by me without a second glance.

I follow behind them, trying to take my sweet ass time because I'm more nervous than I've ever felt before. That morning dad came here to get me, has nothing on how nervous I am right now. The principle sits at his desk, the policeman stands beside him with the gun in his hands wrapped in a towel. My father's sit on the couch that's across from the principle, and I choose life, so I stay by the door.

"I'm sorry to have called you both here, but this matter is rather… Urgent and speaks volumes for the concern I'm sure you both share with us here." The principle starts, they haven't seen the gun wrapped in the towel yet and I can only guess he didn't tell them over the phone.

They don't say anything, by now dad has stopped growling but his breathing pattern is still erratic. I just noticed he's wearing a thick coat, probably to hide his baby bump. Where Kai is still in his work attire I saw him in this morning, plus an extra jacket for the cold.

"As I was walking back to my car, I heard a gunshot. When I got to the scene, your son was standing there with this on the ground behind him. He has a wound on his side, but it was nothing that required immediate medical treatment and the nurse patched him up just fine." Dad narrows his eyes at the man for a second, guess he doesn't like that I wasn't sent right off to the hospital after I was shot.

After the principles quick speech, the policeman sets the gun on the table and uncovers it. Everyone's eyes go to the gun laying on the table, the air in the room stills for a second and then I freeze as now everyone is looking at me to better explain.

"It's not mine." I say a bit too low.

"Of course it's not yours!" Dad practically screams out. "But whose is it, and why did they shoot you?!" His voice reaches another pitch higher.

"I… I didn't see them." I stammer, trying to take in their expressions at my lie.

"How could you have not seen them? They shot you!" The principle and my dad both yell out.

"I wasn't looking, I was walking to the parking lot and then heard the shot and felt it in my hip. I went to go look and found the gun, that's when you came up and found me." I motion to the principle, not daring to leave my safe spot by the door. Kai is closest to me, and I'm within hitting range.

"We'll run an analysis on the gun for finger prints, so whoever you're trying to protect I hope is worth it." The principle sighs out, looking a bit ashamed at me.

I'm ashamed at me too, I could just tell them who it was and why, but I don't. I can't put this on them, I don't want to put this all on them. Bullies are nothing new to me, I can handle it because I've done so before.

"I'm not trying to protect anyone, I'm telling you the truth. I don't know who did it, or why I was shot."

"Why were you even still here?" Dad finally asks that question, I should have been on the bus home ages ago.

"I um… I had a few last things to do that I stayed back for, and dad was going to come and pick me up anyways after work. We were going to the warehouse, remember?" I motion to Kai, as I lie to dad. I'm not going to bring my father down after he's allowed me to do so much behind dad's back, surprisingly he hasn't said much of anything about all of this and it's starting to freak me out a bit.

"Right." Dad says, but his tone tells me he's not convinced in the slightest.

"Well, I do apologize that this has happened. Either way, once we receive the results of the analysis you two can be assured that we will hold the person accountable for what they've done. Kain is a very bright boy, we're glad to have him here among us. Even though we would like it if he could stay for more than half a day at a time, but never the less. He stayed the full day today, and I do apologize for what's happened to him. If there's anything we can do for you two, don't hesitate to ask." By now, his focus is on Kai. I can see him sweating a bit as he talks, and I would be too if I was trying to play down the fact that Kai Hiwatari's son was just shot on school grounds.

Kai doesn't say anything, just simply nods before standing which signifies the meeting is now closed and we can all go home; perfect. The principle stands and gives a slight shaky bob of the head as I follow my dad's out of the room, once again we're in silence all the way to the car.

* * *

"Lift your shirt." Dad commands the second we step into the house.

"What?!" I manage to splutter out, a bit shocked that my dad wants me to strip for him; I'm fifteen dad, don't make this awkward.

"I said, lift your shirt. I want to see your wound, make sure that stupid nurse did a decent job. If not, you're going straight to the hospital." He says, handing his thick coat to Kai who's just made it into the house, his small bump on full display now.

"She did do a good job." Now I'm freaking out again, because he's stepping closer to me and before I can swat his hand away he's jerking the hem of my shirt up to see. "DAD!" I squeal out in embarrassment.

No, I'm not a shy boy by any means. I have a nice toned stomach, and decent shape. There's just one other thing I don't want him to see, and that's my nipple piercing. He doesn't know I have it, told me I couldn't have it, and I got it anyways a few months before I came to Russia.

"Take that out!" He's seen it now, since my shirt is practically over my head.

"Dad!" I whine again, fighting his grip on my shirt until he lets it go and I fix it back properly. "Geesh, let me breathe for a second. I was just shot at and you're concerned about a stupid piercing that I've had for months now?!" He looks a bit taken back, since I just lashed out and all that anger in me is burning my stomach.

"Excuse you?" He cocks an eyebrow at me, and his pupils slit. I've crossed a line again, but the anger and burning in me is building and I can't stop it now.

Everything I've held within me these past months after finding, and meeting, Kai boil up. The resentment I have towards dad for lying to me, the bullies at school, and then my own stupidity for trying to do things on my own when I begged to be kidnapped. It's all just rising up and I don't know how to stop it, the warmness feels to damn good to want to stop it.

" **Just fuck off for right now**! I didn't do anything wrong, but you're jumping down my throat over something so stupid! God, why do you treat me like I'm a child?!" I scream out, my arms flying about as I yell and now Kai steps up beside dad and he looks down right pissed. To me, he's just another challenger for me to take down now and the anger burns more.

I'm angry at him for how he treated me when we first met, how he was so stupid to have just let dad go all those years ago. For sleeping around like he had been before we came back, risking our lives by getting wrapped up with that Gabriel guy. Not to mention, he always picks dad's side when I need him on mine. It's like he doesn't give a shit dad just walked out on him without a second thought, at the time I wasn't complaining because I wanted them back together. Now though, I would have preferred they stayed apart.

"Because you are a child, you're only fifteen Kain! You're not mature by any means for your age, you skip school and act like it's not that big of a deal. There's something else going on that you're not telling us, and it's pissing me off!" Dad yells back, but he doesn't step closer to me.

"When you were fifteen you were traveling the world alone, you didn't have someone there for you! I don't need you there for me, and my problems are mine, **so leave me alone**!" My vision constricts as my pupils slit, and I bare my fangs at him. The burning in my stomach has reached my chest, and I can almost taste the fire on my tongue. I've never felt this before, not until I held Black Dranzer have I ever felt this burning sensation when I was mad.

"I've been on my own since I was an infant, of course I was alone when I traveled. I was more mature at that age, than you have ever been! This isn't about me, this is about you. If you don't tell us what's going on, how can we help you?" His anger starts to die down, as he puts on the concerned parent tone but it's not enough to satisfy this burning I have.

" **I don't want your help**!" This isn't me talking now, I've lost my actual thoughts and now it's the other me that I've been trying to keep away.

This other me, came about when I was kidnapped and given Black Dranzer. He came out of the darkness, all that anger and hate I held back created him and he's now in control of that part of me. Half of what I've been saying, about my dad's and how I hate them, it's all him. I don't hate them, I love them and now I'm crying out to them to help me, but they can't hear me. I do want them to be happy, it was my job to get them together and I don't want that to fall apart because of me; the real me.

"Too bad, because whether you like it or not. You are our son, and that's what parents are supposed to do." He crosses his arms over his chest, and narrows his eyes at me.

If it was me in control, I would have stopped there. I would have apologized and taken my punishment for being disobedient and disrespectful. If it was me, I would have opened up to them and told them what was going on, let them help me with this and make things right. Sadly, it wasn't me who was in control now. I sat back in the darkness of my mind, and watched screaming as the other me attacked.

I would have never attacked my dad, pregnant or not. The one time I punched him, was the first and last time I ever dared to buck up against him. He's got a nasty right hook, and I'd rather not be on the end of his fists. One time was enough for me, the other me though doesn't know this. He's trying to stand up and feed on the burning that's taken hold of us, just like me he doesn't want to give up the warmth it's created and how it fills us with this kind of power. The only problem is, is that it's still my body and my dad's think this is me attacking.

Kai is quicker than me, not all the time, but when he wants to be he can be. As I lunged out to hit dad, Kai jumped between us and grabbed my wrist and twisted it over and behind my head. Spinning us around to where our backs faced dad, his other hand grabbed my other wrist and held that arm behind my back. His legs came around mine and held them in place, it didn't matter how much I struggled, he was like a brick wall and didn't budge.

"What, did I say?!" He growls in my ear, the real me shudders while the other me just growls back.

"Don't hurt him Kai. Please." Dad's voice sounds so weak and broken, it pains my heart to hear it.

I did this, and I don't know what to do now to make it better. I'm trying to regain control of my body, but the other me is getting too strong from feeding on the burning and it's all about to slip through my fingers. Until everything goes black, a sharp pain hits me in the middle of my back and that's all I remember feeling.

* * *

 **Kai's POV**

"What do we do?" Ray asks, pacing the space of the study in front of my desk where I sit behind it and watch him.

Ever since knocking Kain out, he's been a complete mess. Our son is slipping, but Ray doesn't really know what from. I do, Black Dranzer, that's what's caused Kain to become this way. I could see that darkness in his eyes, the same darkness that held him a month ago when he battled us on Boris's request. The only problem I have, is that I don't know what to do to sever the bond he has with that damn blade. The longer he has it, the more we'll lose him to it.

"He's never been like this, ever. He's had problems, but not to this extent Kai. He's like... like he's not even my son anymore." Ray sighs out, and with every word he says I can see its tearing him apart.

"We'll figure it out, we'll find a way to break the tie he has with Black Dranzer."

"It can kill him." He whispers out.

"I'll make sure it doesn't, but it's the only way to get him back." I explain, and he goes quiet again while pacing a few more times.

"How did you break the tie?" He stops and looks over at me.

"I was never fully bound to Black Dranzer, my bond was still with Dranzer, even if it was slightly severed."

"I gave him Driger, shouldn't that be enough?"

"No, because you will always be Driger's master. Passing your bit-beast on, doesn't break that bond you have. So either, we find him his own bit-beast that can break the bond, or we try and make him control Black Dranzer and not the other way around." I explain, and his face falls again.

"How would we even find him his own bit-beast? What if he can't bond with it enough, to break that tie?" His voice carries his hopelessness of the situation, but I don't have an answer for him.

"I don't know." I breathe out, resting my forehead in the palms of my hands. "We have to try though... We're losing him, every day he keeps us away he's only falling further." Ray just nods, chewing his bottom lip.

I told him everything that's been going on, from giving Kain drinks and allowing him to smoke behind his back. The dream Kain told me about the night before, to the real reason why he was still at school. At first Ray was angry at me and I understood why, he had done his best to keep Kain in check by himself and here I was going behind his back. I've never been a parent before, the closest thing I ever had to this kind of responsibility was being captain to the Bladebreakers and we were all roughly the same age. Back then I was just there to train them and make sure they didn't die, they normally took care of themselves to a certain extent. Once he took in my reasoning's he had calmed down, and then we were led to where we are now. Unsure what to do for our son, and what we could possibly do to help him.

"Why don't you want him to date?" I don't know why that's still bothering me, but since Kain didn't know I figured I should ask. Maybe it'll help ease this tension that's found us, if we steer the conversation a bit; I hate seeing Ray like this, I always have.

"I didn't need a pregnant teenager on my hands." Ray shrugs at me, and he looks a bit confused as to why I'm even asking.

"He's straight though, it could happen to her, but not him." It's a valid reason in its own right, but still hypocritical.

"He's bisexual actually, like me." He still looks annoyed and I cock an eyebrow at him.

"You're not bisexual." At this he smirks at me.

"Yes, I am."

"You've never been with a woman." I state rather matter-of-factly.

"That doesn't matter, I find women attractive just as I do men... Why are we discussing this?" He shakes his head a bit, but at least he's smiling now.

"So you'd at least smile." His smile only gets bigger, and I give him my own small smile.

"Well, that's why I didn't want him to date. He isn't mature enough to understand the consequences."

"You keep saying he's not mature enough, for just about everything. Have you actually ever given him a chance to do anything on his own, without you breathing down his back?"

"You don't understand, it was just us. I raised him alone all his life... I want to trust him, but every time I did he'd turn around and shove it in my face. He's a good kid, but he just presses all the wrong buttons. I've given him plenty of chances to show me he's mature enough to do things on his own, but it always backfired."

Slowly I'm starting to understand, but maybe we need to give him this space he's asking for. If we keep standing over his shoulder, he'll only get worse.

"You're going to have to try this time, give him some room to breathe for once. If you don't, it's just going to push him farther." Ray just nods, but I can tell he doesn't like this idea of mine.

"He's like me, you know how it bothered me when you and the others kept trying to push me. Give him room." I continue since he's gone quiet.

"I don't want him to be like you, not more than necessary." He sighs out; thanks love knew I could count on you.

"I'm not that bad, not anymore at least." I huff out and he slightly laughs.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. It's true though, one Kai is enough for me… When he was growing up he had your attitude, but he also had mine. It was exhausting to say the least. One minute he would be open and telling me everything about his day with a smile on his face, and two seconds later he'd be stomping around the apartment angry at the world and not saying a damn thing to me." He's stopped his pacing, and I can see he's relaxing a bit now since we've steered from our main concerns.

He comes over and sits on the edge of my desk to my right, so I place a hand on his leg as a show of support and comfort. He needs it and I need it, we can't let this separate us. He puts a hand over mine and gives me a toothy grin where a fang sticks out just barely over his bottom lip, even at his age he's too damn cute.

"I never stomped around." I bite playfully, and he pats my hand in mock comfort.

"Of course you didn't." His voice is laced with sarcasm, but at least the mood around us is more relaxed; he's relaxed and so am I. "I should probably go get dinner ready." He goes to leave but I hold his hand back and he stops, giving me a questioning look.

"Let's go out, just you and me tonight."

"But… What about Kain?"

"Give him his space, you need to relax more and so do I. He'll be fine for a few hours on his own. Not to mention, I might kill him if I see him too soon."

"Are you sure? I don't want him to get upset that we just left him without anything to eat…" Dammit Ray I'm trying to be the loving supporter here, a little bit more enthusiasm would be appreciated.

"He'll be fine, there's plenty of food here for him. Let's go before he gets up, if he asks when we get back we'll talk to him about it if he's upset." I stand, pulling him close so he can't run off and start dinner.

"What's gotten into you?" He asks me, trying to stare at my face as if there's something wrong with it.

"This is how you wanted me to be all those years ago, I'm just trying to make good on that promise."

"Alright, alright we'll go out." He sighs in defeat, and I let him go after kissing the corner of his mouth.

I follow his lead to the bedroom, mistake one of the night was being to supportive and mistake two was kissing him and we left the house an hour later thanks to the sex addict I call my lover. His mood was better, and he didn't put up a fight when we walked out the front door, so I can't complain all that much. I can't remember the last time we had done this, where it was just me and him enjoying each other's company this way. For a while he didn't look like he was even thinking about the troubled teen we left back home, he laughed at my jokes and I laughed at his. If I were to ever learn anything, from being with and apart from him all these years, it's that we will get through the tough times together; we have to now.


	4. I Ran

**Authors note:**

 **The title of this chapter is I Ran, not by A Flock of Seagulls (even though that version is just as good.) But this one is the remake done by Hidden Citizens. To me, there's more power in the vocals and sounds that make it that more powerful to reflect on these things.**

 **Pay attention to the dates, they're slightly important. I meant to do that for Carnival, but didn't.**

 **So far the story will only take place between Kai and Kain's point of views, I might add Ray's in at one point once or twice, dunno yet though.**

 **This chapter was a lot longer, but I accidentally deleted half of the ending and I don't know where it went but if I can remember what I wrote for it, it'll be in the next chapter anyways. As I said before, I normally try to cap the pages at 10, and with what I had originally was close to 20 or so. This came about to 13 pages, luckily I still had the parts that got deleted on my phone when I had written it out. Seriously, I am kicking myself in the ass right now for loosing a good four pages of the ending to this.**

 **You'll notice the beginning of this chapter starts off with the ending of Carnival, a bit redone as this is happening now where as the ending to Carnival had already happened.**

 **Either way, enjoy. As always, thank you to my readers and reviewers.**

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ April 12** **th**

It was calling me, day and night. I tried with all I could to ignore it, but it left a burning pain in the pit of my stomach every time I did, and it wasn't the comforting warmth I had craved for. I couldn't do this, I couldn't do it on my own and I never told my father's the pain I was going through. They were so happy, to bring that all crashing down on them; how could I? After what I had done the previous months, fighting and screaming with them on a daily basis, it was eating me alive. The other me was clawing its way to the surface and I was slowly losing my grip.

The past month, nothing was getting better, at school or at home. I was still skipping school, still smoking and drinking to dull out the pain and need for the warmth that only my anger could satiate. The only problem was, I was doing these things behind both of my father's backs now, Kai had no clue I was taking his alcohol and now his own cigarettes. I also stole some from the stores around us, and not once did I feel regret for my actions. Never getting caught just added to the thrill of it all, adding to the burning within me. It still wasn't enough, I knew what the darkness wanted but I couldn't step that line; not yet.

It almost came to me stepping that line at school, being pushed too far can make one snap even if they're not being tugged by a darkness only known to them. Vladimir pushed and pushed me, until I snapped. I snapped his fingers one by one, broke his nose and gave him a busted lip. Nobody would dare pull me off of him, and their chants of 'fight, fight, fight' turned to screams of horror. Everything they screamed at me fell on deaf ears, I was no longer in control as I sat back in the darkness and watched the other me take control. He, I, we, could have, would have, killed Vladimir if it wasn't for the authorities that stepped in and stopped me. I had been so close to stepping over that line I never dared crossed, now I was unsure of who I was anymore, and it terrified me.

That was a month ago, and I still can't face my fathers or myself for that matter. I had no excuse good enough, not to them or myself. Kai knows, he knows what kind of torment I'm going through, but he has no words of comfort on how to fix this. Truth be told, I don't want to be fixed. I want to learn and grow with these new powers; can't they see I can protect them like this? Dad has backed off, only because Kai has told him to give me space and like always I've thrown his trust right back into his face. This time though, I've thrown both their trust in me right back into their faces. Not only have I been stealing Kai's alcohol and cigarettes, but I've been stealing his own money. I'm leaving, because I don't want to hurt them while I find myself again. Either look for help, or fix this myself I don't know yet.

I don't have any idea who can help me, I just know they can't. I have to try though, and that's why I'm leaving. Leaving without a word to them, they didn't need me around, not while dad was fixing to bring an innocent child into the world. I was happy for them, they deserved that much. In the morning they would go off and find out the gender of the baby, either way I knew they would be happy with whatever it was. I couldn't stand in the way of that happiness, I'd be alright, I knew that much, and I could trust them to know that as well.

Stopping by their room before leaving, I slowly creep their door open and look in. They're sound asleep as its nearly four in the morning, dad is facing the door like he always does, his raven hair released for once from its binding and his bangs hang around his content face. I can see the outline bulge of his stomach pushing around the sheets, and I smile at my unborn sibling. I can see Kai's arms around dad's stomach, holding him tight; even in his sleep he's protective. His slate colored bangs barely visible over dad's head, and their breathing patterns are slow and even; they're truly happy. Even if they weren't happy with me right now, I can't blame them though.

Before dad can pick up my scent, I close their door quietly and slip out with the intention of not looking back. Even though it's April, the night air is still cold, and I pull my jacket around me tighter. I only have the clothes on my back, and I intend it to stay that way. The dogs know my scent, so they don't bother me, a few watch me as I walk towards the wall and jump over it. I have Kai's money in my account, my wallet in my right back pocket while my left is empty without my cellphone there.

Before I go too far from the town I stop by a 24/7 store to draw out some cash, besides the cashier I'm the only one there right now minding my own business. There's nothing to report beyond the fact that my heart is shattering, while the other me is congratulating me for doing this. He gets a kick out of every little thing I do, whether it's lie or cheat or steal. It satisfies him, but it only lasts for so long. The day we brought Vladimir close to death, was the most satisfied either of us have felt since becoming one. The entire night I spent in jail, his voice was lodged into my head telling me what a good boy I was and how well I did. He was only disappointed with me because we hadn't actually killed him, but he promised me that time will soon come.

I hail a cab, using the stores phone, and I have the driver take me to the airport. There I will make my decision on where to go, for now I have no real plans. I just have to go, get away from the people I love most before the other me makes me kill them. By the time I get to the airport and stand in front of the ticket counter, my eyes dance over the possibilities of flights before me. Some will leave now, others in a few hours. Kai won't be waking up at seven or eight or even five, he has the day off in order to accompany dad to the doctors. I have time, but I want to be safe, so I pick the earliest flight to Japan. The receptionist thanks me, handing me my tickets and I walk away without a response.

* * *

 **Kai's POV/ April 12** **th**

"Kai… Kai wake up… Turn your alarm off, it's bothering me." Ray mumbles, gently nudging my stomach in his half-asleep, half-awake state.

I didn't even hear the alarm start to go off, I've been too stressed these past weeks that I've not been sleeping well. Every time I get any kind of sleep it's always restless and unnerving, waking up in the middle of the nights sometimes three or five times. I can hear it now though, the damn alarm is still going off, but I don't want to move to turn it off.

"Kai!" Ray shouts, now he's fully awake and angry that I've woken him up.

I try my best not to wake him when I do in the middle of the night, but the second my heat leaves him he wakes. So, he's not been sleeping well either and being close to five months pregnant he's not getting much to begin with.

"Alright, alright. Sorry." I mumble, releasing him from my hold to turn around and turn off the alarm.

It's close to eleven, later than any other times I would have woken up. Today though, it's supposed to be like this. I called off work to be able to go with Ray and find out the gender of our child, Kain has to stay home as he's still suspended from school after nearly beating another classmate to death. If it was any other time, not while Black Dranzer is holding onto him, I would have been damn proud of him. I can't be though, not when I know he's still slowly slipping.

I've done all the research I can in order to help him, but nothing has come up with anything useful. I've gone as far as taking the blade away and keeping it from him at my work place, but that only caused his anger to flush further and it seemed to make things ten times worse. In the end I had to give it back, keep it close to him otherwise he would have destroyed this place. We've given him space, way too much space, and I found out what Ray meant about it coming back and slapping us in the face.

Beyond the occasional smacks across that thick head of his, I have never actually beaten the shit out of my son. That all changed very quickly near the end of March, he had flipped so far on us for asking him a simple question. Since he kept skipping school and then ended up in jail for a night, we needed to confront him about what we could do. He didn't want anything to do with us asking him these things, and once again he went to attack us with that same darkness in his eyes. This time, he came after me instead of Ray, and if it wasn't for Tala and Bryan there to pull me off of him I would have killed him. I have never regretted defending myself before, but at that time because it was my son, I regretted ever laying a hand on him. After that incident, he's kept himself farther away from us and I fear this time it's my fault.

"C'mon kitten, time to get up." I gently nudge him back, there's no sense in trying to go back to sleep now since we'll have to leave in an hour.

"Ugh… Do we have to?" He whines at me, and I shake my head.

"Yes, for you and the baby. We have to make sure everything's fine, so c'mon." I start to get up, making sure to pull the covers with me as I go so he has to get up.

He hates the bitter cold of the room and will get up to dress without much fuss now, since he won't be able to reach down and pick up the sheets that I dropped on the floor.

"Ass." He hisses, grabbing the side of the bed to roll himself off.

He's gotten rather, large, to say the least. It's kind of making me panic that there's more than one baby in there, he's only about five months but he is huge. Half his shirts don't fit him, but he refuses to get new ones. He can't button any of his pants and the ones that have an elastic band aren't working anymore either as they cut into his hips.

"We should get you some better clothes while we're out." I tried.

"No, my clothes are just fine." He says, struggling to pull a pair of pants on and button them.

"You sure about that?" I eye him skeptically, suppressing a laugh at his failed attempts.

"No…" He whines out, giving up and pulling those pants off to look for a different pair.

After three more attempts at finding a pair of pants that work for him, he follows me to the kitchen for breakfast. He can hardly stand on his feet longer than twenty minutes at a time, so it's a simple breakfast of toast and eggs. It's just us right now, Kain won't be up right now as his ritual has become since being suspended from school. If by some odd chance he is up, he won't be home right now. Where he goes we don't know, and he won't tell us even if we ask. Slowly we've come to realize that we are no longer the parents in this family, he comes and goes as he pleases. It pisses me off, but I fear that if I go near him again it'll just turn out like last time. I can't do that him, or Ray again. He didn't speak to me for days after it happened, and I can't blame him for not wanting to.

"He's not here…" Ray sighs out, and I just simply nod.

"He might be when we get back." I offer, and he nods back this time nibbling his toast.

The rest of breakfast is marred by an uncomfortable silence, trying to still our nerves about what's to come when we leave and when we get back. We're walking on eggshells here, and we don't know what to do to stop it all. I help Ray into his shoes, since he can't bend over anymore and we're out the door to the doctors. Once again, in a complete uncomfortable silence.

* * *

"Oh, the gel's warm this time." Ray giggles as the nurse spreads the gel over his stomach.

The nurse just smiles a bit, going back to the machine to grab the wand. Ray's shirt is pulled up to his chin, his pants pulled down around the bottom curve of his stomach. The nurse places the wand over him and starts to move it around a bit, I stand beside his head with my eyes glued to the screen still trying to make out what it is I'm seeing.

"It looks like you're about eighteen weeks, awfully big, aren't you?" She giggles, and he just narrows his eyes at her. He knows that, don't bring it up you twit.

"There's just one, right?" He says kind of meekly, and my heart stops for a second as she goes quiet to inspect the screen.

"Yes, just one. Right there." She points to the outline, indicating the head arms and legs as she points to each part.

After looking a bit more I can actually see it, the form is that of a really tiny person floating in the black mass around it.

"Should be able to feel her kicking sometime soon." She states, and for a second Ray gasps out.

"HER?" He sounds excited and the nurse nods.

"It's a girl." She smiles to him, and he turns to me with tears in his eyes.

"It's a girl!" He yells out to me, as if I didn't hear him. "It's a girl! Oh god Kai, isn't that amazing!" I can only smile and nod, damn he's adorable.

"Everything looks to be in order, the heartbeat is strong and normal. You're a bit big, but every pregnancy is different. Would you like a print out?" She asks, but I don't know why she even bothered because he was already nodding his head rather violently.

The nurse pushes a few buttons and the machine spits out a few pictures, each one is a different view of the baby from head to legs and to other parts. That one I don't look at for too long, she is my daughter and I should respect her privacy. I hand them to Ray so he can keep them, his eyes dance over the pictures several times and each time his smile grows. I haven't seen him the happy since I don't know when, his happiness never seems to stick to him anymore so these few times that he is holds a special place in my heart for him.

"Your due date can always change, but for now we're looking at the thirteenth of September." With that the nurse leaves, letting Ray clean the gel off his stomach.

"A girl… Oh this is perfect Kai." He beams to me as we walk back to the car, my arm around his waist as he's staring at the pictures again.

"It'll be different." I muse, I don't have that much experience with girls or girl related things so I'm a bit nervous. I was secretly hoping for another son, but beggars can't be choosers I suppose.

"Kain will be so excited." I don't know if he meant to say that out loud, because the second he said it his happy mood left him like the snap of a finger and he hangs his head. "Sorry…"

"What for?" I raise an eyebrow at him, helping him into the car since we've now reached it.

"You two haven't been getting along… I didn't mean to say that." You haven't been getting along with him either love.

"It's fine, you're right though. Kain will be excited to know he'll have a little sister, he'll be a good older brother."

"You think so?"

"He will, it might help him in the end. Get his head back on the right track, that sort of thing." I shrug, because I honestly don't know but I can hope.

After forcing him to the mall for better fitting clothes, we headed home. Our one-hour trip to the doctors at twelve turned into a shopping trip that lasted us until six at night, and since we were pretty happy to be alone for the time being we also went out to eat. We needed the peace we desperately needed, and I couldn't have been happier that Ray didn't protest. By nine we finally mustered the courage to go home and face our son, it's pretty damn pathetic when one thinks about it like that, but what other choice do we have right now?

* * *

"Kain!" Ray calls once he's inside, leaving me with his thirty bags to carry into the house. "KAIN!" He yells again, but this time his voice wavers with concern.

"He might be out back." I offer, making it into the house without any feeling in my arms as I didn't want to make more than one trip.

"No… No… I would be able to hear him even if he was out back… I can't hear him at all…" Ray says, stepping further into the house and looking up and down the hall as if he's praying his senses aren't working properly.

"He'll be home when he wants, we've talked about this." Now that I've dropped the bags, the feeling in my arms are slowly returning.

"I know… I'm going to call him though, just to make sure." He starts to pull his phone out before I can protest.

With the phone to his ear he's starting to bite his nails, pacing the space of the hall in front of the foyer. He stops suddenly, and his eyes grow wide as he looks at me, and then his phone drops from his hands.

"What's wrong?"

"His phone… It… It's upstairs." I didn't hear it, I wouldn't have been able to, but I know he could have.

"Stop worrying, you know the stress isn't good for you." I warn as I can see he's fixing to panic.

"No… This… This is just how it happened last time, he left his phone when he came to find you…"

"But he has no one else to go find, he'll come back." I move closer to pull him in an embrace.

That night as we went to bed, Kain still hadn't come home and it took everything within me to keep Ray sane. He kept repeating over and over how it was happening again, that Kain had ran away from him once more. Getting Ray to sleep with those thoughts running through his head was tiring, but I didn't sleep. I stayed up in the living room, watching the door for when Kain returned.

It didn't happen though, that door never opened that night or the night that followed. Every night that it didn't, led to another day of Ray panicking and making himself sick, eventually I lost my words of comfort and my promises of Kain coming home were broken. We didn't know what had happened, whether he had been kidnapped again or if he left on his own. When we watched the security footage after the first week of him not coming home, we had our answer.

Kain left on his own, not once did he look back before jumping the wall. Ray had cried himself into hysterics and I couldn't even stop him, I felt sick and guilty for believing that everything would have been fine. Immediately I called the police, Tala and Bryan were already looking into other means of finding where he had gone and how he had been able to just disappear. Two weeks after he ran away, I got my answer.

"That little shit!" I sneered, throwing the sheets Tala handed me and they scattered across the table and some fell to the floor. "He stole MY money! MY fucking money to run off, how did we let this happen?!" I turn to Tala, the anger in my stomach intensifying.

"I don't know Kai, every time we go over it, it doesn't make sense how we didn't see it sooner. I can only give you my deepest apologies for allowing it to happen, it was my fault."

"Fucking right it is! God fucking dammit!" Tala flinched as I yelled and shoved my computer to the ground where it broke and shattered. "Trace his debit card, since he has my money he'll be using that to get around and eat and sleep."

"We did, immediately after we found out about him taking the funds. Everything has come back empty; his card has been deactivated and before that the account had been completely emptied."

"He can't be walking around with millions of dollars in his fucking pocket! It's somewhere else, he had to have opened a new account somewhere else and put the money there. I don't care what you have to do, find out where he put it all!" I stand, still yelling at him and just nods his head and starts to leave but stops abruptly not even three steps away from his original spot.

"Kai…" My head jerks up at the sound of my name spoken from Ray's weak and trembling voice, he's leaning against the archway of the study and he's panting hard.

"Ray what's"- I stop, having come around my desk to take in his form completely and don't even finish my question because I can see what's clearly wrong.

Blood, his blood, has soaked through his pants. His face is pale, and he looks about ready to collapse, my anger washes away as panic settles in and I rush to him.

"Tala call an ambulance!" I shout over my shoulder and the wolf doesn't have to be told twice. "It's alright Ray, you'll be alright." I coax, holding onto him tighter as I can feel his body violently shaking.

"This isn't supposed to happen… The sack isn't supposed to break, not in neko-jin pregnancies… It's not supposed to happen, there's no way for the baby to come out…" His voice is trembling as his eyes are brimming with tears.

"It's alright, it's all this stress. We'll get it taken care of, don't worry you need to calm down."

"They're on their way Kai." Tala says behind me.

"See? You'll be alright." I run my fingers through his hair as he's gone quiet, but his eyes are still wide with fear.

* * *

It didn't take long for the ambulance to get to my house, nor did it take them long to take Ray and I to the hospital. It was all the stress Ray had been under that caused him to bleed, the sac had teared slightly which caused him to bleed. The doctor told us that the baby was alright, and that he wasn't going into labor anytime soon as long as he stayed off his feet. They kept him a few nights in the hospital to watch him, just to be on the safe side but he didn't know it was because I requested it. When he came home he did what the doctor said to do, keeping off his feet and stayed in bed or laid on the couches depending where I was in the house. He never went upstairs though, and I can't blame him.

We didn't talk much to each other as the months passed us by, him only getting bigger and weaker each day. While I tried my best to drown out my problems, nothing we did was leading us anywhere closer to finding Kain and now I had the possibility of losing my daughter because of all the stress. I'm not an easy man to break, but it was slowly starting to happen. I was losing myself each day, and my temper was always on edge just as Ray's had been and we clashed.

"This is your fucking fault!" He screamed at me, throwing a book at my face as it was the closest thing in range.

"How is this my fault?!" I dodged it, but barely as the alcohol was slowing my movements.

"I shouldn't have listened to you! You were the one who suggested we give him his space, I should have done what I thought was right and done what I always did!"

"Because that was going so well, wasn't it?!" I growl back, and he bares his fangs. He shouldn't be on his feet, but that's the rational part of me that still cares for him while the drunk me doesn't give two shits.

"It would have, it always worked before… Before you came around! God, I hate you, I fucking hate you Kai Hiwatari!"

"Good! You should, because I can't fucking stand you either! None of this would have happened if you hadn't run off to begin with, if you had trusted me to protect you in the first place Boris would have never gotten to Kain and we wouldn't be in this fucking mess!" I slam the glass I'm holding onto the floor, and step towards him.

"Quit blaming me for trying to keep you safe!" He hisses, his pupils slit but he doesn't look so intimidating with that large stomach of his.

"I didn't ask YOU to keep ME safe!" I step again, threatening him.

"It doesn't matter now, does it? What's done is done, so get past it for fucks sake!"

I don't say anything as I stalk over to him, standing toe to toe with him and he doesn't flinch. It takes me a minute to realize that my arm has lifted to strike, his eyes had gone wide for a second and it clicks into my head that I'm about to hit him. I was fixing to hit my lover, my _pregnant_ lover at that. The anger in my stomach had flared up so far, the alcohol wasn't helping either, but I should have known better.

"Ray… I…" I lower my arm and he takes the opportunity to jump back from me, his arms coming around his stomach.

"Don't come near me." He hisses, and mixed with the anger he has towards me right now is sadness.

"I'm so sorry… I… I don't know what I'm doing anymore." It takes all my will power to form a coherent sentence, but I fear it's already too late. I stepped over a line that I shouldn't have crossed, why I'm not sure.

"Just stay away from me right now." He leaves me standing there, and I can only listen to the bedroom door slam behind him before I break completely.

This isn't me, I don't know why this is happening to me now. We shouldn't be fighting, I can understand his frustrations but it's not helping the situation any if we fall apart now. The anger I had, the warmness it created in me was old and familiar. Not something I had ever wanted to feel again, but it was all too familiar to pass it off as nothing. I know what it was, but I don't know why it would be here with me if it also had a hold of Kain. Unless, this is what it had planned all along. Not to just bring Kain down, but me as well. Even in the grave, Voltaire and Boris's plans to get me are still in motion.

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ July 25** **th**

I was somewhere in Japan, having ran for three days straight my legs were giving out on me. I hadn't eaten or slept, I had no kind of shower or bath, so I was a downright mess.

I had finally slipped past the authorities, by the skin of my teeth no less, a little less than three hours ago. Exhausted and weary I kept going, slower and more cautious of my surroundings. I was in some sort of nature reserve, from what I could tell. There were other people here, but they wandered far off around the dirt trails or sitting under the shades of the trees.

Looking around I started to form a plan, I would stay here tonight. I could hear the faint sounds of water running so there was water for me to drink nearby, no doubt fish to eat as well. I could bathe and eat and sleep here, I would just hang around until night fall.

Like always, no one paid attention to me, they had better things to look at. I'm not much to look at anymore, my hair is longer, and it rests down past my shoulder blades. It sticks out wild and untamed, while my pupils have permanently slit. At first it had hurt, it had hurt worse than any kind of pain imaginable. Over the moths I adjusted to it, I had to, and bright lights don't bother me anymore and I don't get headaches as I used to.

As I'm walking around, trying to blend with the sparse crowds as if I'm a part of the rabble. I've become acutely aware that I am being followed, someone is watching me, but I don't dare look around to meet their eyes. Instead, I keep going, further and deeper into the woods. The presence follows me, from the way the sounds of their steps echo into my ears they're keeping a safe distance from me; could they know who I am?!

I pick up the pace a bit, if it was an officer of the law they would have already started chasing me harder. No, the way this man is following me; his cologne gives his gender away, it's almost like he's the one taunting me!

I step quicker, my mind running through all the possible scenarios of what's about to happen. There's something in me, tugging me back to him behind me even though I still don't dare look back. I've never felt this kind of tug before, it's the same warmness I've always felt but it's like it's being wrapped in another, unfamiliar, warmness that's not my own.

By the time I come to a stop, I realize the presence is no longer behind me. The warmness that had mixed with my own is now gone and it pains my heart, regaining my breath I take in my surrounding once more. I'm by a lake, the same lake I had heard the water coming from, I was going to come here to begin with; did he chase me here on purpose?

I don't waste time, the sun is already setting, and gather wood for a fire. I blow out fire from the pit of my chest, lighting the logs, and instantly get the fish I need for my dinner. All the while I've been keeping myself on high alert, trying to see if I can grasp that man's warmth once more. Nothing comes to me, not an hour later or even five hours later.

I wake up with the sun, the fire is out now but the morning air isn't bone chilling yet. I had my jacket kept around me, so my upper body is warm along with my arms. It's my feet that are slightly numb, having to wade in the waters for dinner the night before has chilled my feet and the fire didn't help.

I release a small hiss as the feeling of needles piercing my feet wake me up more, bending over to rub some kind of life into them so I can use them to get out of here. I can't stay long, Japan will be the first place my parents come to look for me. Part of me doesn't even know why I came here, I've never been here before but already there are several people who are bound to recognize me if I stay longer than I should.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" My blood runs cold, my fingers stop trying to rub the life back into my feet.

I didn't hear this man, I didn't sense his presence or smell his scent in the air. All I can smell is the decaying left over fish and burnt out fire, the lake beside me and the cool crisp morning air. I never heard footsteps of any sort, his breathing pattern is so low I can't even tell if he's actually breathing. There's nothing to sense, it's like I can sense everything else around me, but HIM.

Slowly I pull my hands from my feet, sitting back into a normal sitting position to meet his gaze. He's an older man than I am, I would say he's a year or two younger than my own fathers. He's neither too pale or too tan, his thin lips are slightly turned up into a serene smile but there's something about it that unnerves me. He doesn't look threatening, much less feels threatening to me. There's something though, something in the way he's holding himself and just looking off at the lake to his right.

I've yet to meet his gaze, he's not looking at me and he lets out a very small breath of air. I tense and jump to my feet, full attack mode on and the burning in my stomach is rising and preparing to fight till the death. Slowly, gracefully, inhuman even, the man turns his head towards me and our eyes meet. Crimson meets teal, and I lose my breath. It feels as if I've just been punched in the gut, I can't look away and I don't want to; he's stunning.

The burning in my stomach is reaching out, and his eyes soften again and there's another warmness. It's coming from him somehow, but it's beckoning me to step closer and I will my legs not to obey.

How could he have this same kind of burning in him? How could he feel like he's me when he looks nothing like me? I'm here seeped in my darkness and even outwardly I look and feel it. This man on the other hand, moves with such grace it looks like he's floating instead of walking. His eyes don't harden or reveal anything to me, his face is so serene I can't read him as he comes closer.

I can't move, I want to move, I want to turn and high tail it out of there because even though he looks completely harmless; I'm terrified of him.


	5. Bring Me to Life

**Kain's POV/ July 25** **th**

"Where are we?" I ask, looking around doesn't give me an answer.

There's nothing here around us, but I don't even remember how I got here. One minute I was in the middle of the reserve by the lake, the next the ground opened up into a black vortex and I was sucked in. The man is here, and I am here, but there's nothing else around us. It's just darkness but it's not suffocating me, it's warm and welcoming. His face still unnerves me, that amount of power he holds yet he looks nothing like he would be the kind to have it.

"We're where ever you want to be." He speaks to me so calmly and even his voice unnerves me, he's too calm and too polite.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" I growl out, fists and teeth clenched.

"It means what I said it means, if you want to be in Japan then we'll stay in Japan. If you want to go somewhere else, I'll take you there." He closes his eyes and smiles while cocking his head to the side a bit, his orange-red bangs slightly cover his eyes.

"How? You're not making any sense." His eyes open and he straightens himself back up, then outstretches his hand towards me.

"Take my hand, and I'll show you."

I think it over for a moment, that harmless looking man can't be all that harmless. My neko-jin instincts are telling me that, while the tug in me has been trying to get me to go to him. Slowly I walk the distance between us, it wasn't much, and I stood in front of him quicker than I had intended.

"It's alright." He takes my hand in his since I didn't bother to lift mine into his, and the second our skin makes contact the warmness in me froths forward and covers my entire being in it that I purr; the first time I have ever done such a thing.

He doesn't say anything, but there's a flash of amusement in his teal eyes for a second and he clasps my hand tighter. The heat between our hands is searing but it doesn't burn, nor is it uncomfortable. Suddenly the darkness around us swirls and closes in around us, I go to pull away as panic settles into me, but his grip is too tight, and we're engulfed by the darkness. I close my eyes tightly wishing that this is all just a dream, this isn't possible to be happening. A few seconds pass and his hand releases mine, the other me is telling me to take that hand again but I don't dare move or open my eyes.

"It's alright now, you can look." He coaxes in that same calm tone and I manage to slowly open one eye.

I can hear the sounds of waves beating against a shoreline, the smell of the ocean is all too familiar and both eyes pop open to take in my surroundings. We're on a beach next to the water, it's crystal clear and beautiful to say the least. There's palm trees that line the shoreline and closer to the roads next to the beach, it's about midday here and there aren't any people around us.

"W… Where are we?" I stutter, eyes wide.

"We're in the Bahamas right now, isn't it beautiful?" He turns to face the ocean and steps into the water just enough his boots don't get overrun by the water.

"H… How… How is this possible? This is a dream, isn't it?"

"No, you're wide awake." He looks over his shoulder and smiles again where his eyes close.

"But… How?!"

"You'll be able to do it too, once you learn how to control your power." He says before turning back to face the ocean.

"Power? You mean… You're connected to Black Dranzer to? Did you know Boris?" I jump up beside him, not caring that the water is soaking my boots.

"I did know Boris Balkov."

"How and what about Black Dranzer?" I stand in front of him, he's much taller than I am so I have to look up to meet his eyes.

"You remind me of someone… Two people actually..." He tilts his head to the side and looks me over, a smile crossing his thin lips again.

"Don't change the subject, tell me who you are first and everything about Boris and Black Dranzer." I growl out.

"I don't know anything about this Black Dranzer, so I'm afraid I can't help you."

"Then how do you know I have 'power'?" I cross my arms over my chest, a habit I picked up from Kai.

"I can feel it in you, see it around you. You feel mine as well, don't you?"

"I feel something… It's hard to explain, but it feels like I should be closer to you even though I don't want to be…"

"I won't hurt you." He says it like he's hurt and offended, his eyes had gone wide a bit and that's the first time I've actually seen any kind of reaction from him besides his smile.

"You wouldn't be able to anyways." I sneer, and roll my eyes and all he does is smile again.

"What is your name?" He asks calmly and eyes me up and down again. "You do look so familiar." He muses, and I look him over, but I know I've never met this man in my life.

"Kain." I say and take a step back, further into the water behind me forgetting I was even standing in the ocean for a second until a wave comes up over my boots and soaks through to my socks.

"No last name?"

"I have one… I'm just not telling you, you haven't even told me who you are." I growl.

"Me? Oh, how rather rude of me please forgive me. My name is Brooklyn Masefield, it's a pleasure to meet you Kain…?" He holds a hand out between us, and the tug within me wants me to touch him again but I don't.

"Hiwatari." I say and catch a glint of something cross his eyes, it flashed by so fast I jumped a bit when I saw it and as soon as it was there it was gone.

"It's very nice to meet you Kain." He smiles at me, tilting his head to the side and his eyes close again.

"What can you tell me about Boris?"

"Maybe another time, I'm sure you're hungry?" He opens his eyes and looks me over again, and I nod a bit.

I am hungry, I am also extremely creeped out by this man. I can't read him, nor do I think I really want to understand him. The tug within me, my darkness, is trying to reach out to his. He's right, I can sense it now that I have an idea of what it is, and I can faintly see it around him. It's a dark-blue aura, but there's white outlines within it. In a way, it makes him look angelic to an extent.

"There's a wonderful little shack just down the road, follow me." He turns away from me, with the same grace as before and he starts to walk away.

Most people who have to walk through sand stumble or have a hard time, not him. It's like he's just gliding over it, the second one foot comes down to barely brush the surface of the sand, the other comes down as the first has already been picked up. It's slightly mesmerizing watching him, but I can't ogle him for too long or it'll look really bad; he's like the same age as my fathers.

He is handsome though, he's tall and well built. His clothes fit him almost perfectly, all white even, which only adds to his angelic look. His shirt is a simple button down long-sleeve formal dress shirt, his sleeves are rolled to his elbows. His shirt is tucked rather neatly into his white slacks, his shoes are even white and I'm a bit surprised he had even set foot into the ocean with them on. His orange-red hair rests around his neck and shoulders, where his bangs fall around his eyes, but they don't cover them ridiculously.

"Are you coming Kain?" He stops his gliding across the sand to stop and look over his shoulder at me, and I nod rushing to meet him.

My wet socks squish under my feet as I walk beside him, and it's a bit embarrassing to have to listen to it as we walk down the road that follows the length of the beach. We walk in silence and I'm only standing so close to him because it keeps the other me quiet, I can't deal with him nagging me when I'm not close by Brooklyn, and I actually enjoy the closeness because it warms me.

I have so many questions for him, but he won't answer any of them right now. He ordered my food for me when we reached the shack he talked about, and the food was delicious, but I really just wanted answers. He even ate with an inhuman grace, it was hard not to watch him. If he caught on that he was being watched, he never showed it. He paid for our food and I followed him outside, by now the sun was starting to set over the horizon and he stopped to watch it.

"Breath taking." He sighed, and I chanced a glance at him then back to the setting sun.

"It is." I manage out, and realize that this was the first time I had ever actually watched it before.

"Where shall you like to go next?" He turns to me, only being illuminated by the street lamps that have turned on around us now that the sun is gone.

"Um… I don't know." I shrug, the questions are at the tip of my tongue but I hold them back.

"Would you like to go home? I'm sure your family misses you."

"No!" His eyes go wide at my sudden outburst and I step back from him a bit, hanging my head so I don't have to look into those eyes of his. "I… I can't go home… Not right now at least, not until I can figure this all out." I breathe out, and I jump slightly when he places a hand on my shoulder.

"I understand, that's why I'm out here too."

"You're a bit old to be running away from home." I chuckle, and he smiles.

"I'm not running away from anything, I'm simply learning." He removes his hand and I miss the touch that had sparked up the warmness within me.

"Learning what?" I cock an eyebrow at him.

"What this all means." He holds his hand out and in the palm of his hand a hazy cloud of darkness comes forth from the center and it sits there as it swirls within itself.

"I can breathe fire." I shrug, still starring at the darkness within his hand.

"I know, I saw you light the logs yesterday." He flicks his wrist and the darkness disappears as if it was never there to begin with.

"What else can you do? Besides teleport apparently?"

"Many things." He grins at me, and for a second it scares me because that serene expression on his face is finally gone and I don't like how evil he looks.

It's like another person, not the man I've just met, and it faintly reminds me that the other me doesn't really look like me either. It only confirms my suspicions more, we are alike, too much alike for this to be mere coincidence. He was looking for me, it just feels right that he would have been. My only concern, is why was he looking for me?

"Shall we go then?" He holds his hand out closer to me, and I take it without a second thought.

This time I keep my eyes open to see the darkness encase us, how it swirls around us and takes over our bodies. The warmth it gives, the thrill it gives and the way the other me is practically cheering in the back of my head throws all caution to the wind. At this moment I don't care why he was looking for me, now that he found me I can only hope he doesn't plan to let me go. I'll be eighteen in two years, and our friendship should only grow more if he becomes my mentor.

This is why I had left, to learn to control these powers. To protect, not harm the ones I love. I'll return to them when I can, but for now it'll just be Brooklyn and me. I can't read him fully yet, but I'll be able to the more I get to know him. The power that radiates from him is intoxicating, and I want that. I crave that kind of power now, and he can give it me. Without me hurting someone, without me sacrificing myself to the other me and Black Dranzer.

The darkness leaves us in a field, our hands still held tightly together, and I look around. There's a large white mansion sitting on a hill not far from where we're standing in the field, it's two stories and beautiful. I feel I already know the answer, but I ask it anyways.

"Where are we now?"

"This is my home, and my world." He looks up and I follow his gaze.

The sky isn't blue, it's pitch black with no stars or moon, but it still glows around us and lights the field we're in like the sun was shining.

"It's beautiful." I tell him, and he smiles again.

"I'll show you inside then." He doesn't let go of my hand, and I don't let go as I allow him to lead me into the mansion on the hill.

It's breathtaking, open and full of light even though there are no light fixtures on the walls or hanging from the ceilings. Every wall is white, the tile is white and polished to a fine point I can clearly see my reflection. I don't like what I see, I look like a stray cat that's been out on the streets for months.

"Are you alright?" He places a hand on my shoulder, seeing the frown on my face.

"Yeah…" I breathe out and look away from my reflection.

"There's a room for you, if you like. Upstairs, you can shower and change." He offers and starts towards one of the two flights of stairs that sit in front of us in the foyer.

They're a simple light-colored wood with a white runner that runs down the middle of them, before I step further into the house I make sure to take off my damp boots and socks. He stops on the first two steps and looks back at me, noticing what I've done he just slightly chuckles his amusement before continuing up the stairs. On the landing of the second floor, I can see below us to the foyer and there's a row of doors directly before us.

"Pick one." He motions to the doors.

"Um…" I step up to a door and look over it, the other me is telling me not to pick that one and so I continue down the hall a bit.

Brooklyn stays back near the railing of the balcony, just watching me as I walk away. I can feel his eyes on me but he's not staring hard at me, it's a light feeling and filled with curiosity and amusement.

" **Not that one either**." The other me warns as I reach for the door handle of the fifth door from the right of the stairs.

I pull back a bit and sigh out, he's getting on my nerves and all I want to do is shower and get comfortable. I go back the way I came, since all the doors on the right have not been worthy enough for the other me. I pass the first door I had pondered over, going down to the sixth door on the left of the stairs when the other me shouts out.

" **This one, this is it**!" He cheers, so I grab the handle and push it open.

A warm breeze hits me in the face, and I blink a few times before everything registers into my brain what it is I'm seeing. White paint peeled walls surround me, opening right into a small opening with tile that leads into stained wooden floors. There's a shoe rack by the door to my right, it's empty, where on my left is a TV with a couch facing it. I swallow the lump in my throat and step inside a bit more and it hits me, this room is my old apartment back in Shang Hai.

"How?" I can hardly hear my own voice.

"It's simple really, you wished it and the room granted it for you." Brooklyn explains as he steps up behind me.

"But… But I didn't."

"It wouldn't have happened, if you didn't." He explains again, stepping past me and inspecting the apartment.

"Then… What about the other rooms?" I ask.

"They would have done the same, you can will it to change to how you see fit later."

" _Then why did you make me pick this one?"_

" **It was a feeling I had, don't ask me.** " I roll my eyes at his words and look at Brooklyn and hope he doesn't think it was directed at him, he wasn't looking at me anyways, so he didn't even see it.

"Thank you." I step up to him as he's standing in the middle of the room.

"Of course, I'll see you in the morning Kain." He pats me on the shoulder as he walks away, leaving the spot warm well after he's already gone through the door.

I wait a moment, looking around again and a bit of my heart breaks. This is my apartment, where I grew up and where I was happy. I lived here before everything around me went to hell, when that exactly happened I'm not sure. It could have been when dad and Gabriel started dating, it could have happened when dad told me about me being part neko-jin and that I had another father out there somewhere. It could have gone further than either of those two things, right down to when I was conceived. I'll never know, but the end result will always be the same, my life right now is in the pits of hell and I don't know how to change it.

Like I never have left, I go to dad's old room to my right where the shower is. It's funny that even the handle for the cold water is slightly squeaky when I turn it over, the shower curtain is even the same and it hurts again to think about. Maybe I shouldn't have gone after Kai, what dad and I had here would have been perfect. Though, I know now that wouldn't have happened either. Boris had made sure to tell us that he would have gotten me sooner or later, with or without my help and with a bullet between dad's eyes. However I look at it, this would have happened somehow, and right now I feel like I've made the right choice.

It's been three months and I can only hope my fathers are alright, an idea hits me, and I jump out of the shower quickly and grab a towel to dry off. I go outside the room/ apartment and close the door to stand in the hall, I hold the handle in my hands and close my eyes and think about Kai's mansion. Once it's pictured in my head a bit more clearly, I open the door, sure enough I step into the foyer of Kai's home.

* * *

 **Kai's POV/ July 26** **th**

With a long drawn out sigh, I rest my forehead on the kitchen table. My body and mind are so tense, even this relaxing movement hurts. Every muscle in my body is tense, and nothing has helped. It's been three months since Kain ran away and every lead we've had has fallen through or just led us to a dead end. Ray has made himself sick to no end, but at least now he's taken the doctor's orders and has been in bed. It's not getting any easier being around him, after what I almost did to him and the fights we've had since then. I don't blame him, this was never his fault. I can't keep bringing up the past of him running off sixteen years ago, that's right it was Kain's birthday last month and now he's sixteen.

His birthday only brought more pain for Ray, who didn't speak the entire day and barely left the room. The only time I can get him out of the house is to the doctors now, since he's now considered high risk because of the stress that's been placed on him. I've tried, but I am losing my patience with everything.

"Kai?" He calls my name, it's weak like always and I slowly to turn to face him standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

His face is still pale, he can hardly stand without swaying and has to lean against the door frame. One arm is over his stomach and his hair is disheveled around him, his eyes are red which means he's been crying again.

"Kitten, you need to be in bed." I sigh out, standing to go over to him.

"I know… Can you come stay with me? Just till I fall asleep again, I can't fall asleep right now and I'm having pains again." He looks up pleadingly at me and I just nod, pulling him close to me and walking him back to our room.

I get him into the bed, sitting beside him and he curls up next to me with his head on my shoulder. We haven't been like this in months, for a moment it feels comfortable, but I know it won't last. He doesn't purr like he used to, he hasn't purred since Kain ran away, if it was any other time he would have already started sounding like a truck engine. I pull the sheets around him, and settle against the headboard a bit more.

"I'm sorry…" He mumbles out into my shoulder.

"For what?" I ask in a whisper, still a bit unnerved how close we are right now.

"I shouldn't have blamed you… This isn't your fault, it never was… I'm sorry."

"Don't be… I shouldn't have said what I did either, and I'm sorry for that."

"This has just been so hard… We shouldn't be doing this to each other, it's not right…"

"I know, when we get him back it'll be alright. Don't stress yourself right now, think of the baby." I slightly warn before he starts breaking down, he nods and settles closer, an arm comes around my stomach and I try not to tense against him.

Just as he's about to fall asleep my cell phone rings, he moves away so I can shift and pull it from my back pocket. He's watching intently as I answer without looking at the caller ID, and place the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Is this Kai Hiwatari?" The woman asks with a Japanese accent.

"Yes."

"Hello Mr. Hiwatari. My name is Haruhi Amado, I'm with the Japanese Federal Agency here in Tokyo. I have some news about your son, Kain Hiwatari, it seems he was last seen here in Tokyo at the national preserve." I don't bother to glance at Ray, I know he can hear her every word and he lets out a sigh of relief.

"Sadly, after authorities chased him for three days he seems to have vanished once again. When they reached what they assumed to be his campsite, there was no trace of him. We contacted all ports and airports within a fifty-mile radius of the city to close down for the time being, but there has still been no sign of your son I'm afraid."

"Thank you for calling me with this." I manage to say, swallowing the lump in my throat. At least now we have an idea of where he's been, the others who live there were already told to keep an eye out in case he went there.

"Of course Mr. Hiwatari, I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. The number I've called you on is my personal number, if there is anything you need don't hesitate to call me. We'll keep in touch, goodbye." She hangs up before I can respond, and I let my arm drop to my side.

"At least we know he's alive." Ray sighs out, and I nod to him.

"I'll send Bryan and Ian out to Japan, have them help search for him. The others already know to keep an eye out, if he's in Tokyo they're bound to see him at some point."

"You should go too." My head snaps so quickly towards him I'm surprised I didn't break it.

"Hell no, no way am I leaving you by yourself right now."

"You're his father, you should be there to find him. I'll be fine, Tala is here, and Mariah will be here in a few days." He looks at me almost pleadingly, but it just irks me more.

"NO! No, I am not going. How can you even think that? If I left, and something happened to you while I was gone… How could I live with myself?"

"I'm sorry… I just thought…" He adverts his gaze to the sheets that have pulled around him, and chews his bottom lip.

"It's alright, I understand why you want me to go. I just can't, I can't leave you right now." I pull him back to me, and he rests his head on my chest as I slide down the headboard a bit more so he's comfortable.

I run my fingers through his tangled mess of hair, and he's off to sleep within seconds. I'm beyond tired, but I fight it for the time being. Once I get myself unwrapped from him, I cover him back up and leave him. He won't sleep long, but for the time being I need to add this new information with the other papers we have on Kain's file. This is the first time we've gotten a real lead, and the weight that's been placed on my shoulders is slowly rising, if only slightly.

On top of Kain running away and slipping into the darkness, it's not just him who has been slipping. I can feel myself following him, my descent is slower as I'm not connected to Black Dranzer, but I can feel the familiar tug as the days count down. Ray has been held up in bed, and until now we haven't had an actual conversation, much less touched like that in months.

I love him, truly I do and the last thing I want to do is hurt him now. Though he's not the only one who is hurting, but I can't ask him to help me when he has too much on him already. I can't lose him or our daughter, and to ask him to help me would only add to his stress. So, I've done what I've always done and found comfort the only way I know how. With Bryan gone, it'll bring Tala to my bed. It wasn't planned that way, but it's what had always happened before and it's just a matter of time. The only time it didn't happen, was when Ray had first come back into my life and Bryan had 'betrayed' us. I won't make the first move, he'll do it on his own, but I won't back away. I need it too, but it will mean nothing just like it always has. I'll be crossing another line I haven't dared step over since Ray's been back in my life, and I'll feel guilty for it but for the time being I'm looking forward to it.


	6. Savin Me

**Authors note:**

 **Just wanted to say thank you to those who have reviewed and givin me you thoughts on the story and how it's progressing. YES, Brooklyn is in the picture and will be for sometime. I've actually grown to love the lil weirdo, and he and Kain are a lot alike and he needs a mentor. This chapter is just solely centered around them.**

 **I love your reviews, I have one person over here gettin heart broken with the prospect of Kai cheating while another is cheerin him on the sidelines. Seriously I love it, it's always amazing to see everyone's ideas and thoughts on something.**

 **Yes, I feel bad for Ray. I always seem to drag him through the mud, but he is a tough son of a bitch and he'll get through this. Ch 7 is done, but I'll wait a lil bit for everyone to have a chance to review if they feel like it for this chapter.**

 **As always enjoy.**

 **Song name is Savin Me from Nickelback. It speaks for Kain on a personal level.**

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ July 29** **th**

This has been a strange past few days living with Brooklyn in his home and his world, everything about him has me on edge but in a good way. He's always happy to see me, happy to have me beside him. Part of me wonders if that's just his darkness trying to reach out to mine, or if he truly likes me being with him. I like being with him, it calms down the other me to an extent and the tugs to step over lines aren't as strong as they used to be. His presence has calmed me, even if I still can't fully read him. It's a bit funny when I think about it, we're both entrapped by the same darkness, but he doesn't look like it. He's pure and white on the outside, while I'm pitch black.

I haven't been able to ask my questions to him yet, I've been waiting for the right time to ask him. He's not really delved into training me on how to control my powers, my thirst for the darkness, but I just have to be patient until he's ready. For now, I've tried to make myself look a bit more put together, I cut my hair and I make sure to brush it daily. I've changed my room several times, staying in Kai's mansion that first night was a mistake because I couldn't see my fathers and it made sleeping harder than it ever has been since I left. The only good thing that came from it, was I was able to grab a change of clothes from my closet while I was there for the night. Living in one change of clothes for three months can really get to you, and I was glad for the change.

I don't look like a stray cat anymore, if anything I just look like a regular cat. My pupils are still slit but Brooklyn told me not to worry, they'll go back to normal within time, but I don't know if he actually knows anything about neko-jins to give me those words of comfort; at least he's trying though without getting in my face about everything. Though I'm not surprised he hasn't, he too has this darkness in him and he understands it better than my fathers do.

"Morning." I sing out to him as per our ritual these past few days, bounding into the kitchen of his mansion.

"Good morning Kain." He smiles up at me abandoning his breakfast for a moment to greet me, his eyes close as he smiles.

"I was thinking, that we should go out today, to the other world." I pick up my coffee that he's already made for me, and sit across from him at the table in the corner of the kitchen.

"I was thinking the same thing." He never stops smiling when he talks to me.

"Great, how about… Hawaii? I've never been there, we could spend the day in Waikiki or something." He nods his head and then his smile vanishes.

"That's a fine idea, but I want you to take us there this time." My heart stops for a second as his eyes bore into mine, and I stutter a few times before I can fully speak.

"Are… Are you sure that's a good idea? I haven't gotten a hold of this yet, not like you do at least."

"Yes, I'm sure. You'll never be able to fully control it, if you never work with it beyond training." That makes sense, but I'm still nervous.

"If you're sure…" I sip my coffee, but I don't move my sight from his.

"I'll be right there with you, so don't worry too much about it." I just nod to him and finish my coffee and breakfast.

My heart is racing faster than it ever has, this is not like my training sessions. This time I'm in control of where we go, I'm responsible for our safety in this trip. My hands are shaking, and he gently takes them in his, it doesn't stop the trembling completely, but his warmth is soothing.

"Just breathe, you'll do fine."

I nod, sucking in all the air I can fit into my lungs and close my eyes tightly. I do what he's been instructing me to, willing the darkness within me to spurt forth and overtake us. It's chilling at first but soon it warms the air around us, I open one eye to watch to make sure he's still with me.

"Don't leave me…" I whisper out, but I don't think he heard me.

The darkness takes us over, much like it always does when he does this. It takes a few seconds for my body to feel completely warm, and then the soft sounds of the ocean and city fill my ears. His hands are still in mine and it takes me a minute to realize I've been squeezing his hands tighter than before.

"You did it." He tells me, and I open both eyes, the darkness disappears instantly around us and all that's left in my view are the sites of the ocean and trees.

Nodding I release his hands, and I can see my claws had left little marks on his skin, but he doesn't seem to mind. I feel a pain of guilt swell in me, I didn't mean to hurt him; I would never hurt him. We're too alike to want to harm him, he's too kind for me to want to harm him.

"Where shall we go first?" He asks, looking around us.

I have no clue where to go, or where we're even at right now. I've never been to Hawaii, much less anywhere for that matter.

"We could ask around?" I offer, and he nods at my words.

"Good idea." Before I can stop him, he starts walking away, so I quickly follow behind him.

It's always like this, he leads, and I follow but I wouldn't have it any other way. Of course, he doesn't see me in the same way I see him, not now at least as he is much, much, older than I am. I am only sixteen but sixteen is the age of consent in Russia, but I'm not sure how much longer I can hold back. Not to mention, I don't even know if he's interested in the same sex. I do wonder though, if my attraction to him is just because we are so much alike or if it's because he is that attractive.

He's an enigma, and dare I say more so than Kai ever has been in my eyes. He's so hard to read at times, one minute he can be all smiles and the perfect looking angel and then it can change in a flash. I know that feeling though, as it's the same with me. All thanks to our own darkness and problems, ones we've yet to discuss but I will make it my mission to while here.

He leads us down the road and even at the early time of day that it is, the streets are packed with cars going all over. It's rather busy, but I don't think it's all that out of place being in a city like this. The water is near us, but it's blocked out by walls and fences that line the harbors and ports. I can smell the water and the gasoline from the boats and cars that are all around, not many people are out walking yet beyond the few homeless man or woman I see. For a minute this city doesn't look like any of the postcards I've ever seen of this place, when one thinks of Hawaii and Waikiki they picture beaches and the never-ending sun. Being here now, it paints a whole different picture.

We walk the along the side walk a bit more till he stops and I look up, we've come to an area where there's more hotels than business skyscrapers. Those here to enjoy a vacation are already piling down from the hotel driveways and entrances to begin their days. Maybe when I go home I'll convince my fathers to come here and enjoy the sun, it is quite warm even if it's barely ten in the morning.

"How long did you want to stay here?"

"All day, if that's alright? We have nothing better to do." I shrug my shoulders a bit, to show him that it's his choice even though I do want to stay here all day.

"That's perfect. We'll get a room for the day then, and maybe get some suits to swim in the ocean for a bit." I don't object and just follow him to the hotel he has in his sights.

The Hawaiian woman on the other end of the reception desk was very kind, she was beautiful with her long black hair and large brown eyes. The little pink flower in her hair complimented her tan skin, and her smile was just as warm and welcoming. She didn't seem all that suspicious about a thirty-year and sixteen-year-old requesting a room together, but sometimes I do look older than my age and looking at Brooklyn you wouldn't think he is was as old as he is. We booked a room in The Rainbow Tower, our room was nearly at the top of the hotel and it gave us an amazing view of the ocean behind us.

"This is amazing, look at all the boats out there." I lean against the railing, casually smoking a cigarette as he's standing beside me. If he doesn't like my habit, he hasn't said otherwise. I'd give it up if he told me to, just for him though.

Luckily, we have a room with two beds, a TV and dresser. The simple American style hotel room, but it polished and bright with light woods and cream-colored fabrics. Something I know Brooklyn will appreciate, since everything in his mansion is white or an off-white of sorts.

"We should go do some shopping, since we are technically tourists now." He offers, and I nod, sucking down the last bit of my cigarette before putting it out in the ash tray on the round iron table that's on the balcony. "You made an excellent choice in coming out here."

I follow his lead out of our room, almost jumping around like I'm a child with how excited I am. I haven't felt this way in a long time, this excitement I have is pushing past the darkness in me and it's filling me with a new warmth.

I hate to say it, but I know this kind of peace would never have come to me if I hadn't left. Being home would have only brought out the worst in me, when I look back on it now I can almost say it was because of Kai. There was something in him, the way he beat me near death, something I don't blame him for because I did attack him first, but there was a darkness in him that matched my own. His was more sinister feeling, it wanted to overtake mine and make it his. I don't know if he knows this, but I felt it and that was part of why I was always clashing with him. They only wanted to help me, that much I knew, but I also knew they wouldn't have been able to.

We do our shopping in the little hotel stores they have littered all around, we're right next to another hotel but I didn't catch the name of it. There's a restaurant and koi pond that surround it like a mote. There's plenty of more hotels down the sidewalk that runs along the beach, and by now there are more people out and around us as the morning rolls into the afternoon.

I use the cash that I've taken from Kai, making sure not to leave a trail behind me now that I'm in the real world. I don't know where Brooklyn's money comes from, but he is loaded like I am. He doesn't bother using cash, he has his own debit card, but I don't ask as I deem that rude. Besides, I have more important questions to ask him once we get back to the hotel to change for a swim.

* * *

We dump our bags on our respective beds, his is by the balcony while mine is closer to the door of our room. Without saying anything he digs through his bags and I stand and watch at the end of my bed, waiting to muster the courage to actually speak to him. Sometimes I can never say a word to him, I feel like a little school girl with a crush when it comes to him.

"So… Um… I was wondering a few things…" His attention turns to me as he pulls out his swim suit.

"What is it Kain?" I love how he says my name in that calm tone.

"I was wondering if you'll be willing to explain a few things to me a bit more, like how you knew Boris and why your darkness is the same as mine if you've never heard of Black Dranzer." I manage and sit on the end of my bed, clasping my hands together over my knees.

"It would only be fair to tell you, I suppose. Do you want to wait till later to hear it, or now?" He sets his suit down and shifts to sit on the edge of his bed to face me.

"Now… Please… We've known each other for a few days now, and I appreciate you taking me in as you have and helping me figure this all out… But it just seems weird to me, how you found me and all." I explain and look over to meet his eyes, they're devoid of emotion for right now as he's thinking but his thin lips are upturned into a slight smile.

"I found you because of the darkness that is in us, when you arrived in Japan I felt your presence and I didn't stop looking until I found you. Just as my darkness was reaching out to you, yours was reaching for mine. Boris… Boris is a different story, and we're only connected because of him and what he's done." His eyes flash with something in them at the mention of Boris's name, but like before it's only there for a second.

"What did he do to you?"

"It happened about sixteen or seventeen years ago, I was fifteen at the time when Boris approached me. There was something off about him, but I couldn't figure out what it was at the time. He said he was looking for talented strong bladers, and that he had heard great things about me. You see, I was a gifted blader and when he took me under his wing he only enhanced my gift. He gave me a beyblade with the bit-beast Zeus within it, Zeus was a modified bit-beast that had immense power and strength. When wielding it, it caused something inside me to snap."

"The darkness?" His story is almost like mine, not that I bladed much even with Driger, but I was pretty good at it when I did blade.

"Yes. Zeus unlocked the darkness, as all dark bit-beasts do. I'm assuming Black Dranzer is the dark counterpart of Dranzer, who is wielded by Kai Hiwatari." Something flashes in his eyes as he speaks my father's name, he doesn't know I'm his son, but it wouldn't take a genius to figure it out.

"Yes… Kai… He's my father… That's why I reminded you of him when we first met… Boris was trying to kill him, and so I allowed Boris to take me to save him and he gave me Black Dranzer in order to do the job for him instead. Since then, nothings been the same… The darkness that awoke in me, it caused me to do a lot of things I never once thought about… Said things I would have never had said before getting that damn blade." I can feel my eyes burning as tears want to escape, but I hold them back.

"I had that much figured out, you do look just like him… But your eyes… They remind me of someone else." He tilts his head a bit to look, and I give him a soft smile.

"My other father… Ray Kon…" I whisper out, I haven't ever told anyone about being born from a man before and I hold my breath to see his reaction.

"So, they did get together in the end, how wonderful for them. And you are a product of their love, even more wonderful." It's a bit weird when he puts it that way, I had never really thought about it like that, but I suppose he is right. My fathers did love each other when they made me, whether they meant to or not, but I am a product of their love for each other.

"I'm guessing you know both of them then… How?"

"When I joined with Boris he created a blading corporation known as BEGA, while buying out the original BBA. Your father's friends and old team mates challenged Boris to disband his company, apparently, they had history with Boris and didn't trust him. Kai actually came and joined BEGA under the guise of fighting Tyson, but I knew he was there under his grandfather's orders. But, fate would have it that would not be the case for him as I destroyed him in our battle. He became useless to Boris and Voltaire's plans, and he went back to his old team once more to help them take Boris down." He stops for a minute, so I can process his words.

I never knew any of this and it's a bit overwhelming to say the least. When he says destroy, I can get a pretty clear picture of what he means, and it makes me shudder a bit. If Brooklyn possessed the kind of power he has now, I'm amazed my father is still alive.

"What about Ray?" I ask, he hasn't mentioned him at all in this and I'm wondering why.

"He was on the same team as Tyson and Kai, but he fought a different opponent and lost. If it wasn't for Kai coming back when he did, BEGA would have won in the end and our true intentions would have come to light. Much to Boris's dismay, and my own Kai came back, and he beat me in our rematch. I didn't take it too well, how could I when I had been given such power? He was a tough opponent to take down, the only one to have ever beaten me in all my years of blading. He walked away, barely, with his life intact. It's good to hear that he seems to have made a full recovery, I heard it rumored he had died from his wounds." He says this all with a smile and I shudder once more.

How can he look so calm when he speaks of this, but part of me knows, the darkness is congratulating him for almost killing his opponent and he doesn't feel guilty for it. How could he, I would feel the same way if it had been me. Slowly the pieces are coming together and it's making so much more sense than it had before, of course none of this had ever been told to me by either of my fathers and I'm a bit angry at them for not telling me these things.

"After BEGA and Boris were defeated, what did you do? How have you been able to control your darkness all this time?" I come out of my thoughts to ask him.

"With patience and practice. It didn't end with my battle with Kai, I was forced to battle Tyson and I almost destroyed the world in the process. My world crossed the threads of space and time and almost caused an apocalypse, but Tyson brought me back and it was then that I saw I needed to control it. It couldn't control me, not when I realized I had friends I didn't want to hurt. So, I went off on my own to my own world and trained. Much like we have been these past few days, until I was satisfied with my control over the darkness." He explains to me and I nod.

"But what about it tugging at you? Don't you ever get that, where it's calling you to do things you never thought of before?" I ask and I'm more than amazed at him for being able to have done this all one his own.

"All the time."

"How do you stop it?"

"I don't." My heart stops for a minute, and I look at him with wide eyes. He still looks calm and peaceful, if he hadn't just told me that I would have never suspected he gave into the tug of the darkness.

"So… You've… You've killed people before?"

"Only those who deserve it, the darkness doesn't care what type of life you take just as long as you take one and it calms it down some. It will never leave us, it will never be fully satisfied. I can only teach you to control it without losing yourself to it, it makes life a bit more bearable to live when you can control it without wanting to harm those you love." He explains to me with the same calmness in his tone, as if it doesn't bother him.

"That's why I left, I was hurting them… I was hurting myself because I was hurting them, and I couldn't continue doing that, not when I just got them back together… Not with dad being pregnant again, I couldn't take that from them." He doesn't say anything to my ramblings, but it feels good to have gotten everything off my chest.

"Are you ready to go swim? We didn't buy these for nothing after all." He stands, holding his swim suits in the crease of his arm. I'm grateful for the distraction though, the mood was getting to depressing even for me.

"Yeah, I'll change in here and you can take the bathroom." I offer, grabbing my own swim suit from my bag.

* * *

Once we've changed we leave our room to head down to the beach below us, there's a lot of rocks near our hotel so we walk along the beach till it's a bit more open and where there's a few other people around us. Everyone is having a good time, there are families enjoying the peace together and it hurts me a bit to see them. I never had that with my fathers, the second I had them both in my life everything went straight to hell and we haven't had room to even breathe. I'm wading in the water where it comes over my hips, becoming lost in people watching when a splash of water hits me in the back of the head.

"Don't stare, it's rude. Come out here and enjoy the water." Brooklyn smiles at me, with the same fluid movements of his tilted head and closed eyes as he always does. I smile back to him and swim out to where he is, the bottom of the ocean barely touching the tips of my toes.

He's even more stunning up close and without a shirt, something I don't have on either and I can only hope he likes what he sees. I normally wore a shirt during whatever it was I did, including swimming because I was trying to hide my piercing, but without my dad around I don't care. I've caught Brooklyn eyeing me a few times, and my cheeks have flared up each time, but he doesn't say anything to me and he doesn't act flustered when I catch him looking.

We enjoy the peace around us, just swimming and floating in the ocean around each other and the other people who are here. They keep a slight distance from us, and I can understand why. They're not used to seeing a neko-jin and with my pupils still slit they must think I'm a weird oddity, though I did hear someone whisper that I had cool contacts and they wanted to ask me where I got them from. I had to roll my eyes at that, I wish they were just contacts because that would have hurt less. Not to mention the scar on my face that I've caught several people looking at, some have stared at it longer than I cared for them to, but I didn't say anything to make them stop.

"Hey." Brooklyn swims over to me, as I've been staring back at this old couple whispering about me on the shoreline and I can hear every word they say like they're standing right next to me.

Gentle hands come down on my shoulders and they turn me around, breaking my staring contest with the older couple and now they're talking about the older man touching me in such a familiar way. I can hear the distaste in their tones, and their sneers behind me.

"Don't listen to them, your scar is beautiful." His left hand leaves my shoulder while his right stays, and he traces the scar with his index finger. His touch lights a fire within me, and I bite back the purr that wants to escape.

"You can hear them?" I ask, willing my voice not to crack from his touch.

"I can read their lips, and I can see how your body was reacting to their words. Don't pay them no mind though, they're just a blip in your life at this point. You'll never see them again, and they'll never see you." His words are always calm, but I can sense the fire in his tone from how the other two were talking about me.

"You're right… We should probably go get something to eat, I'm kind of hungry." He slightly chuckles at me, and his eyes brighten.

"Of course, let's go." He releases my shoulder and pulls his hand away from my scar, wading through the water till he's back on the shoreline with all the grace he always has.

We walked back to the hotel, showered separately, dressed, and went to find a place to eat at in silence. We came across a place called Yard House, and it was the most amazing food I had ever eaten. Though I'm not big on American cuisine, this place was amazing to say the least. During dinner we talked about mundane things, he told me a bit about his childhood while I told him a bit about mine. It was a wonderful feeling, having someone to open up to that you could be completely honest with. I never fully had that with Chou and Zin, even though they were my best friends in Shang Hai I always kept parts of me hidden from them.

I needed this, I needed someone like me to come into my life and help me. I'm grateful that he found me, I'm grateful he's willing to help me. Even if we don't cross the line of just being student and teacher, I'll still be happy none the less to have known I wasn't going through this alone. One day I'll go home, but today is not that day.

* * *

 **Author's Note 2:**

 **Yes, Kain likes Brooklyn, Yes Brooklyn is about 30 somethin years old since he was 15 in G-Revolution. Yes, Russia's age of consent is 16 and since Kain is technically a citizen of Russia I'm not really that concerned with the age difference. But, to ease the minds of some readers and because personally I wouldn't my 16 year old child to date someone THAT much older, nothing will transpire between the two till Kain is 18.**

 **Yes, the places listed in this Chapter are real places and Yard House has the best Truffle Fries ever (I cried when I first tried them.) I live in Hawaii, and from memory I tried to best describe where they were since I don't go to Waikiki all that often (I hate the beach.) Yes, the homeless population around here is pretty bad, and Kain's thoughts slightly reflect my own thoughts when I first got here about two years ago.**

 **That's all for now, please review, tell me what you think. =)**


	7. Better Than Me

**Song is Better Than Me, by Hinder. I feel it speaks for Kai and how he feels for what he's done to Ray.**

 **I just realized that I'm 7 chapters in without a lemon, and even though I thought about putting one in this chapter, I felt it off if the first lemon was between Kai and Tala. I promise there will be one, I actually have a chapter fully dedicated to lemons coming up. First we have to get there, I've gotten up to Ch 9 written already, but as always I will just update either a day or two at a time.**

 **Thank you too all my readers and reviewers, I hope this story has been keeping you slightly entertained.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Kai's POV/ August 9** **th**

It happened, like I knew it would have. A week after Bryan left with Ian for Japan, Tala called me to his bed and I went. It didn't stop though, and I went back on several occasions as the month rolled on. Sometimes I'd stay later at the office just so I wouldn't have to face Ray with a guilty conscious, but most of those nights was just so I could spend time with Tala.

I would always shower and change clothes before going home, even if Ray's sense of smell was dulled, Mariah's wasn't. She was staying with us now, since Ray had been placed on permanent bed rest until his due date, he was thirty-five weeks now. His pains were coming more frequently, but the doctors didn't want to remove the baby until the last second because she wasn't fully developed yet. Each day it was like they were playing with her life, either waiting to see if she would make it to the end or give up. It unnerved me and put more stress on me, and I used Tala to relieve that stress.

This night was like many of the others that had become like a ritual, we'd stay late at the office and we'd comfort each other because our real lovers weren't able to. We hadn't heard from Bryan in weeks and I could tell not having heard from him was causing Tala to stress as well. With the guilt in my stomach I left him for my home, having showered but I forgot a change of clothes. It wasn't really on my mind since it was well into the night and Ray and Mariah would be asleep anyways, and I could throw my clothes in the wash before morning.

Like always the house was quiet when I stepped inside, the hall lights were the only things on inside my dark house and I followed them to my room. As I reached the door I could see the light was on, breathing in before opening the door and readying myself to face Ray I pushed it open.

"Ray... Mariah?" I stop my sentence as I realize Ray isn't there in the bed, Mariah isn't either.

No, she's standing by my dresser with the drawers open and going through them. There's a small duffle bag on the corner of my bed near where she's standing and it has clothes in it already.

"What're you doing? Where's Ray?" My blood chills and she turns to me, acting like she didn't know I was here, but I know better.

"Why should you care where he is?" She sneers and glances over at me, her nose wrinkles upwards and I know she can smell Tala on me.

"Where is he Mariah?" I take a threatening step towards her. She looks me up and down for a second, folding the shirt she was holding in her hands before putting it in the bag.

"I'm not going to say anything to him, you know the stress and the realization of what you're doing will kill him... God, I can't believe you Hiwatari." She huffs out, closing the packed bag.

"Where is he?" I'm not going to deny what I've been doing, there's no point in it when she can smell it.

I should feel a bit relieved she's not going to tell him, but that doesn't help the fact that I still don't know where he is. The silence grows around us and lingers, she hasn't moved nor has she let go of the bag in her hands. She sighs and finally moves around the bed bringing me the bag and shoves it into my chest.

"You should at least change before you go, he's in the hospital right now. The baby will be here in a few hours so you better hurry up." With that she walks away and closes my door.

The bag in my hand drops as my heart stops, taking in what she just told me has caused more guilt to overflow within me. The realization of what I've done hits me like a bus, I should have been here for him but I wasn't, I've failed him when he needed me the most. It's too early for the baby to be born, the stress had finally done it's worse to him and I wasn't here for him.

When I gather my senses, I do what she told me and gather a change of clothes, jumping in the shower as if the water would somehow scrub away the lingering touches Tala has left on my skin. For the most part it does, but it doesn't help the pain of guilt I feel. I rush around while getting dressed, I don't really care how I look as long as I'm clothed.

Within minutes I'm back in my car with the bag Mariah had packed, which I'm assuming she packed for Ray. Even though the hospital is roughly an hour away, I got there in twenty minutes. I didn't bother with locking the car as I ran to the inside of the hospital, the receptionist jumped in her chair when I burst through the doors.

"Ray Kon, he's supposed to be here having our child. What room, where am I supposed to go?" My words flew out of my mouth so quickly I had a hard time registering what it was I even said.

"Just a second sir, I'll pull his name up for you." She says rather meekly and starts typing on the computer in front of her.

I step further to the desk, not wanting to look like a complete mess by just standing in the doorway. My nerves are causing my arms to shake and my legs are wanting to give out on me.

"Well?" My voice trembles as I speak and she glances up at me for a second then back to her computer.

"He's in the south wing of the building, third floor. You're in the west wing right now, take the hall to your right and just keep going till you come to an intersection and go right to the elevators." She gives me the instructions and I repeat them in my head as I rush down the hall.

Like before, the receptionist on the third floor jumps in her seat as I come out of the elevator doors. Her faces pales slightly as I approach her and I can see her swallow the lump in her throat before addressing me.

"How can I... How can I help you... Sir?"

"I was told Ray Kon was brought up here, he's in preterm labor."

"Ah yes, we received him about three hours ago. They just prepped him for the emergency C-section and he should be going in there right about now. Are you the father, would you like to go?" No.

"Yes." I nod and she smiles a bit before collecting some files and hands them to me.

"I just need you to fill these out and you can follow me as you do so." She stands once the papers are in my hands and comes around the desk and waits for me to stand beside her.

Most of the papers are the normal routine medical information that I have to fill out, the others are for if something goes wrong with Ray and what my wish is to do about it. He has no family, and being with me makes me his emergency contact and the person who holds his life in my hands. I don't fill that part out, I don't want to think about him not making it through this. I know he will anyways, so it's a bit pointless in my opinion.

The receptionist stops at a door and gives it a brief knock, we wait for a minute and I hand the papers back over to her as the door opens. A man comes out, dressed head to toe in blue smocks with a mask and gloves already on.

"This is Ray Kons partner and father of the baby, he'd like to be there for the birth of his child." The receptionist announces and the man turns to look me over.

"Yes, fine. We need to be quick though, come in." He orders rather quickly and I follow him into the room.

Before I have a chance to blink I'm handed a bundle of blue smocks and am instructed to put them over my clothes, along with shoe covers and my own mask and hair cap. Once I'm covered in the smocks the man motions for me to follow him out another door, and when I step through I lose all the air in my lungs.

The room is brightly lit, almost blinding to a point even. There's a large table/ bed in the middle that Ray is laying on, he's focusing on the ceiling above him and hasn't looked over where I'm standing. There's a large blue tarp that sits across his chest, blocking his view of his lower half. The heart monitor is beeping rather fast, and the other doctors and nurses are all huddled around his lower half on the other side of the tarp.

I approach him slowly, swallowing the lump in my throat and freeze just a few inches away from him. A tear rolls down his face, but he doesn't blink it away as he's still focused on the ceiling above him. The doctors are still talking in hushed voices, but I know he can understand them as if they were screaming. I regain my composure and step closer to where he senses me and his head slightly turns, his eyes water more and he offers me a sad smile.

"Hey." His voice is weak, and I stand beside him.

"Hey kitten…"

"You look adorable." He giggles, and I roll my eyes. "I didn't think you'd be here, I tried getting a hold of you but your phone was off."

"I know… I'm sorry." I bite back my own guilt and brush my fingers along his forehead, his hair cap is keeping it free of his bangs. "I'm so sorry… I shouldn't have stayed as late as I did." I'll tell him, but not right now.

"It's alright… Mariah got me here, they waited a while to see if the contractions would stop but they didn't and I started bleeding again… She's not even full-term Kai… They're gonna have to keep her in the NICU… This is all my fault." He sighs out as more tears run down his face.

"Shhh… No. This is not your fault, don't say that. It'll be alright, she'll be fine and you will be to." By the time I finished talking the doctors started yelling at each other, having removed our daughter from Ray and rushing around to get her to where she needed to be.

I barely got a glimpse of her past the tarp as they took off with her, and I know Ray was straining to see past me and the tarp. We wait in silence for a few minutes until the tarp is slowly removed and a nurse steps over to us, her mask is pulled down around her chin and she's frowning at us. I place a hand on Ray's shoulder where I can reach him as he's still lying down on his back, and I can feel him tense under me.

"A little girl… She's roughly five pounds, which is normal for her gestational age. Her body has been under a lot of stress, so we're keeping her in the NICU for observation right now. She'll be really lethargic and unresponsive for a while, due to the stress and the medications we gave you beforehand. If she doesn't start to eat on her own in roughly five hours, we'll have to put in a tube." I can feel Ray tense under me at the prospect of that happening to our daughter.

"Also, even though you weren't properly diagnosed, you had preeclampsia which also added to the stress and weight gain you experienced. It'll go away on its own within six weeks, but your blood pressure may spike here in the next few days or hours so we're prescribing you some blood pressure medication to keep it in check." She explains all of this to us and it just hammers into my head more of what a failure I've been for Ray, all of this is like taking a three-ton-weight onto my shoulders.

"When can we see her?" Ray speaks up after a moment of silence.

"In an hour at best, you're all stitched up now so you'll be moved here in a moment to your recovery room." She says this with a smile and then starts to leave us, my hand is left on Ray's shoulder and I feel like crumbling under everything.

Just as the nurse had said, he was wheeled away to his own private recovery room. Being under my insurance has its perks, but I don't think he was all that excited about it with our daughter still in the NICU. It had been an hour, but we weren't able to go and see her yet.

"Can you help me to the shower?" He looks over at me where I've kept myself on the couch by the window.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to be moving already?" I look up from the floor I've been staring at for the past hour.

"I can feel my legs now, and I'd like to feel a bit cleaner than what I do now." He chuckles a bit and I stand to help him up.

He holds his arms out so I can unclasp his blood pressure cuff, unhook his IV's and his heart monitor for him. I hold out my right arm for him and he grasps onto it tightly, his claws dig into my skin but I don't flinch as I don't need him to freak out and fall. Slowly he swings his legs over the side of the bed, steadying himself and testing out his balance before putting all his weight down.

"You okay?" I ask, making sure I keep myself steady for him.

"Yeah." He nods while watching his own feet as he takes a step, then another and he's walking towards the bathroom with me as his physical support.

I should have been here as his mental support as well, and I failed him in that aspect. There's no excuse for what I've done or for the lines I've crossed, and the more I think about it the more I feel the guilt within me swell until it's taken over just about every part of my being.

"Thanks." He smiles at me, reaching out for the metal bar in the shower and stepping in as he lets go of my arm.

"Yeah…" I step back a bit, but I make sure I'm within arm's reach if he were to fall. "Need help?" I ask as he's struggling to get his arms out of the hospital gown.

"Please?" He whines with a sheepish grin.

I step in further, he hasn't started the water yet so we're not soaking our clothes. Carefully I untie the back for him and hold it so it doesn't land on the floor as he slips his arms out one after the other. I turn a bit to toss the gown on the plastic chair that's in the corner of the bathroom, when I look back is when I notice the blood seeping down his legs.

"Ray!" I yell out in shock and grab him which causes him to jump.

"What?" His eyes are wide with fear at my outburst.

"You're bleeding!" I point to the blood on the inside of his legs.

"Yes, it's normal. I'm okay, it happens just like a normal woman would. I'll bleed for a while, with Kain I bled for about two months… Don't scare me like that." He laughs out and the fear in his eyes leaves.

"Sorry…" I mumble and back away once more as he starts the shower.

His feet don't move much, and he grips the bar tightly with one hand while he uses the other to wash. I'm still within arm's reach, but step closer to rub the shampoo in his hair for him since it'll take too long with him using one hand.

"You're gonna get your clothes wet." He mumbles out.

"It's fine." I smirk even though he can't see it.

When was the last time I ever did this for him? I can't remember honestly and it pains me to even think about how far I've pulled myself from him.

"Rinse." I order calmly and he ducks his head under the spray of the shower as I run my hands through his hair for him.

We repeat the same motions with the conditioner, this time a soft purr escapes him and it takes me by surprise to hear him do that after all this time.

"You haven't done that in months." I smile, but I know I shouldn't be. Not with what I've done to him, I don't deserve that kind of praise from him.

"Sorry…"

"No, don't be sorry. I was just saying is all." I scrub his scalp a bit harder, and he purrs louder and his body shakes from the vibrations it causes.

This closeness feels wrong, but right at the same time. I know he'll be angry at with me when I tell him, he'll probably cry and I won't have any explanations to give him. For now though, I just want him to relax and not worry about anything. His body and mind have been through enough already, I can't just dump this on top of him as well. He's stronger than what I've been giving him credit for, he did this on his own while I ran off and left him to deal with it.

I get him dried off as he holds onto my shoulders for support, his eyes haven't left my face as I focus on drying him. I can see a slight smile on his lips when I glance at him every now and then and offer him my own, being mindful of the incision they made across his stomach to remove our daughter. It's red and swollen, but there doesn't seem to be any signs of it going to be infected. I help him dress back into his hospital attire, and lead him back to the bed to hook him back up to the machines.

"Thank you." He sighs out, resting against the bed and closes his eyes.

"Of course kitten." I want to kiss him, but I don't dare do that.

Within seconds of him closing his eyes he's asleep so I take my place back on the couch, pulling my phone out to text Tala and tell him it's over. He won't protest, it wasn't anything permanent anyways nor did it ever mean anything. To Ray though, it'll mean everything and I'm trying to brace myself for the inventible. He'll either leave me again, and this time I'll understand why. He may stay, just for the sake of our children but it won't ever be the same again and I won't know how to fix it this time.

* * *

I'm woken up by a nurse gently nudging my shoulders, I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep. I blink a few times to get the haze out of my vision and meet her eyes for a moment before looking over at Ray, he's still dead asleep on the bed.

"You can go and see her now, she just finished eating all on her own. She's doing much better than what we were anticipating, so you'll be able to bring her back in here with you." I nod and stand, stretching out my back before I follow her out of the room.

I've never really held a baby before, so I didn't dare pick her up. She's so small, I feel like I might break her. Her complexion is a bit of both of ours, she's neither too pale or too tan. She's bald for now, but has dark eyebrows, and her eyes are closed for the moment so I don't know who's color she has. She has all her fingers and toes, both arms and legs and her little chest is rising and falling in slow movements as she sleeps. A smile forms its way onto my lips as I take the plastic bassinet back to Ray's room, moving ever so careful and gentle so I don't wake her before we get there.

"Kitten, kitten wake up." I gently nudge him, and he wakes up a bit groggily at first until he sits up completely. "I brought someone to see you." I move to the side to reveal our daughter and his eyes light up immediately.

"Oh god, bring her to me please." He holds his arms out, and even though I'm still extremely nervous to be picking her up I do so anyways and hand her over.

She felt so light in my hands, even for that brief moment. I quietly study how Ray holds her, making sure to take mental notes for when I have to hold her. He cradles her back and neck with one hand and arm, while the other is under her completely. He's just looking down at her, his smile reveals his fangs and I haven't seen him this happy in forever.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" I can only nod as I sit by his feet, after having brought up the head rest to his bed so he can lean against it.

"Did you think of a name?" We had never really discussed it before, we had been too wrapped up in trying to find Kain, and then doing what I did we hardly talked at all.

"Kaira Mari Hiwatari." He says with a bright smile.

"You don't have to keep naming our children after me." I laugh, shaking my head a bit.

"You don't like it?" He looks up at me and pouts.

"No, it's beautiful. Mari though?" I cock an eyebrow at him and his smile returns.

"After Mariah, after all she deserves some kind of recognition for all she's done for me." He goes back to looking at our daughter in his arms, and my heart stops for a second.

She gave me her word she wouldn't tell him, and I already knew I was going to but I was a bit uncertain for how long she'd keep it from him. I was going to tell him when he was released, but waiting that long may only cause more problems. Sucking in some air to still my nerves I go to speak, he didn't even look at me when he spoke before I could.

"I know." He whispers out, not looking at me.

"Know… Know what?" I ask. He couldn't have known, could he?

"That you've been sleeping with Tala, I've known for a while now…" He doesn't cry, nor does he look like he's about to but he still isn't looking at me.

"H… How?" Is all I can manage, even though that wasn't what I had wanted to say.

"Instinct mainly… The long hours at the office, you stopped holding me at night… You didn't say much to me, barely looking at me half the time we would talk, when we did talk instead of fight… I drove you away… I'm not taking the blame for it mind you, that's not what I'm saying. What you've done has really hurt me, more than you'll ever know. I don't want an apology, because I won't accept it because it won't be true. If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it to begin with." He chances a look at me now and his eyes burn with anger, and his fang sticks over his bottom lip in a threatening manner.

"I'm not leaving… I can't right now, but when we get our son back I'll be taking our children back to China with Mariah and you aren't going to stop me. If it takes longer than two years for Kain to come back, you'll put your daughter and I up somewhere out of your house until he does. You can come see her when you see fit, if you even want to. We'll work on custody arrangements when I feel up to it, so you might want to make time to actually be with your daughter while you have the chance." His tone is calm, but I can sense the anger mixed in there.

"Alright… I understand." I simply nod to him and stand off the bed, a tension is forming around us but I'm not surprised.

He didn't deserve this, I don't deserve him. I'll do what he says, I won't protest nor will I try to make things right. I allowed this to happen to us, and even though I want to make him stay I won't force him.

"Why'd you name her after me… If this was your decision all along?" I manage out and he looks up at me thoughtfully for a second.

"Because you are her father, and you deserve that recognition. Just as I named Kain after you, and it was something I already planned out before this happened and didn't think of anything else."

"Do you want me to go home?" I will, without hesitation if that's what he wants.

"No." He says rather confidently and sternly. "No, I don't want you to go home, I want you to sit your ass back down on this bed and hold your daughter." I can see that fire in him, the one that I've missed all this time Kain has been gone. It never really left him, I see that now, it was just hidden amongst his other emotions.

I do what he says and hold my arms out a bit so he can place Kaira within my hold, he sets her in and fidgets with my hands and arms making sure they're in the right place so I don't hurt or drop her. I'm still utterly nervous, but I swallow that down along with my pride and pull her to my chest.

"Mind her head at all times, she can't support it right now." He pulls back from my arms as he tells me what to do, and I miss his touch on my arm; what have I done?

I make sure to hold her neck and back a bit tighter and she squirms in my hold a bit and I look up to him quickly, I don't know if I just hurt her and he slightly chuckles.

"She's fine." He smiles at me and sits back against the head rest of the bed.

"She's waking up." I say rather panicked, and he leans back over to watch but he doesn't touch me or sit too close where we might accidently touch.

Slowly one little eye opens and the other follows suit, it takes her a while to adjust her eyes to the lights of the room and her eyes dance around before blinking and then going wide. My breath leaves me and I can hear Ray sigh out beside me and he places a gentle hand to her head. Her right eye is crimson like mine, while her left is gold like his. In each eye, there are specs of the opposite color around her pupils. Right now, it's a bit hard to see whose eye shape she has, or if it'll be a mix of ours or not. Her ears aren't pointed like his or Kain's, so she's received more of my genes there.

"Good morning beautiful." He coos to her, and she glances up at him blankly.

"She is beautiful, isn't she? You did an amazing job…" I breathe out and I can feel him look at me but I don't look back.

"Thank you."

* * *

When we were able to bring Kaira home from the hospital the tension that had been around us at the hospital was no longer there, it wasn't a sign that things would go back to the way they were, nor was I thinking that. It was calming though, to have some kind of peace between us now.

Mariah kept far away from me, and I her until she left. Even though I put him through hell, he made sure to seek me out whenever I was in either study and demand I hold our daughter. I would always oblige and drop what I was doing, no matter how important the paper work was, he was giving me my time with her and I was thankful for that. I didn't ask for more, I couldn't because I barely deserved this.

During our stay at the hospital Bryan and Ian had finally come back, so Tala was hardly around me even at work now. He has to keep himself composed because Bryan will never know, nor do I plan on letting him know, he'll kill me in my sleep and that's something I'd rather avoid happening.

I miss Ray though, I really do. I want to beg him to stay and change his mind, give me another chance but every time I feel those words on my tongue I swallow them. We're constantly marred by silence, but it's not uncomfortable. In fact, the silence is too comfortable at times. When we do speak it's always about Kaira, what she did that day while I was gone or what she needs from the store next.

"You're getting better at that." Ray speaks after handing her to me, having found me on the second-floor study staring out at the front of the house through the large window.

"Still feels like I'm going to break her." I tell him and it's the truth.

She's four months old now, and she has put on a few good pounds already. I cradle her to my chest, she's awake and she's taking in her surroundings with a blank expression.

"You won't, I promise." He chuckles and stands beside me, overlooking the front yard.

"Ray?" I whisper out but I don't look at him, nor does he look at me.

"Yes?" He breathes out, and I think he knows what I'm about to say as I can see his body tense.

"I… I am sorry… I know you didn't want to hear that, but I am. There's no excuse for what I did, and I'm not asking you to forgive me. Already you've given me enough, but please stay." I beg him, turning to face him now but he hasn't looked at me yet.

"No… No I can't stay Kai… Even if I were to stay, you know it'll never be the same."

"Please? I'll get on my knees if you want, just don't leave me again."

"Like how you left me?" Now he turns to face me and I can see he's holding back tears, but what kind I don't know.

"I'm trying, I really am. You know me, I don't beg but I am. For you, only for you will I beg." I have to adjust Kaira in my arms slightly and he takes that as a sign to take her, but I pull back from his reach. "I have her."

His arms drop to his sides and he breathes out a sigh while closing his eyes for a second, the air in the room is still calm around us and I can only hope that's a good sign.

"I don't want you to beg, it's unbecoming of you so don't. My decision is final Kai, I'm leaving and you can't stop me." He goes to turn but I reach out and hold his wrist, having to adjust Kaira again against me with my other hand.

"Give me another chance, it's all I'm asking. I didn't mean to hurt you, that was never my intention. You were hurting already, too much, and so was I… I couldn't put that on you with everything else, it's a terrible excuse I know but it's the truth. I looked for comfort elsewhere, when I should have come to you. You needed me, you still need me and I need you."

"Stop…" He tugs his arm but I don't let go.

"Please Ray… I love you, you know that. It never meant anything, it'll never mean anything."

"Maybe to you it doesn't, maybe to you it never will. To me, to me it means the world. If you were me, you'd feel the same way regardless of what my excuse was." He tugs again and I let him go this time, but he doesn't try to leave the study again.

"You're wrong." His head snaps towards me and he holds my gaze with a questioning look.

"What?"

"You're wrong, because if you were me I'd hate you." I step closer to him, using my free hand to reach up and cup his cheek and I'm a bit surprised he doesn't pull away from my touch. Our eyes are still locked with the others, and I can see his glazing over with tears.

"You're wrong because if you were me I'd hate you, but I can tell that you don't. You don't hate me for what I've done, even though you have every right to hate me. I can see it, yes you're hurt, but you still don't hate me." I explain and he goes to biting his bottom lip, as always, he's easy to read but I still don't know where this will go, or how it will go.

"You're right, I should hate you… I have every right to hate you for what you've done to us, done to me… How can I though when I still love you? I don't want to love you, you understand me? I don't want to love you, I want to hate you, I want to beat the shit out of you till I feel somewhat better! Nothing will make this better, not when I still crave your touch and you to be with me. You've hurt me Kai, more than you ever have before and yet I don't hate you… I pity you." His tears come out in full force and I bite back my own as I watch him crumble before me.

"Why, why do you pity me?" I brush away the tears I can with my thumb and he leans into the palm of my hand.

"Because you were too blind to see what you had in front of you." He pulls away from my hand and takes Kaira from my arm before I can protest, heading towards the open archway of the study to leave.

"Ray… Please?"

"I have to think about it…" He breathes out, barely looking over his shoulder at me as he stands in the doorway.

I don't say anything and he walks away, leaving me feeling more alone than I've ever felt before. I want to be happy with those final words, but I know it won't be that easy. Nothing is easy anymore, not for us at least. I have two years of this before I lose him for good again, whether Kain shows up now or later I still have two years to make this right; I have to make it right.


	8. Hear Me Now

**Just wanted to say thank you to everyone still following along and showing your dedication to this story.  
**

 **The song for this chapter is Hear Me Now by Framing Hanley.  
**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ December 16** **th**

It was a year on this date that I met my long-lost father, Kai, on his doorstep while he was trying to go to work. I had been freezing my ass off for hours waiting till I could hear him come to the door, I was shaking from the cold and from my nerves. I had spent all I had to get there, and I wasn't going to take no for an answer, he was going to know me, and I was going to know him. How naïve I was, if I knew what I do now I would have walked away. I wouldn't have pressed him to see me, know who I was or try to help him and dad get back together. How could he have done this to dad? I'm beyond pissed at him for cheating on dad while I've been gone, I want to hit him so hard, but I can't as I'm not really here.

I can see them, but they can't see me standing just behind them in the study as they're arguing. Kai begging dad to stay and give him another chance, while dad doesn't want to do such a thing. This is something Brooklyn has taught me to do, make myself appear where I wish and right now this is where I wanted to be. I should actually be here though, not just an apparition looking in. Maybe it was my fault they fell apart, but it's too late to change it. Kai made his decision to do what he did, he's old enough to take responsibility for his actions.

I can see dad is breaking, he says he still loves my father and I can see that he truly does. He did run off pregnant at the age of seventeen to protect him, so of course this little/major thing isn't going to make him fully fall out of love with Kai. My dad is a strong man and I admire him for being so, his years being alone half his life have hardened him to be the man he is, and I can only hope I turn out more like him.

My baby sister is adorable, sometimes I wonder if she can see me when I come around in my 'spirit' form. She always looks my way, but I can't tell if she's looking at me or through me. Sure enough, she looks like the woman I killed in my dream months ago. Knowing that, has only cemented the fact that I made the right decision to leave. At the time of my dream I didn't even know if I was going to have a sister or a brother, but with the dream it makes it seem like I've always known.

Dad takes Kaira from our father's arms as their conversation is ending, and I slightly turn to watch dad walk away. He stops in the archway of the second-floor study, and he looks over his shoulder to speak.

"I have to think about it…" He says, then he walks off with Kaira wrapped in his embrace.

I turn back to see Kai's reaction, he just stands there for a moment. I can't read his expression as it's just blank for the moment, he doesn't move for a long while till he goes back to staring out the window. I want to yell at him, but even if I do he won't hear me. I go and stand beside him, I'm actually floating since I'm just a spirit at the moment. I slightly brush his shoulder as I floated a bit too close and he turns to look at me, but he can't see me, his eyes are trying to focus on the space beside him, but he can only see past me. He stares for a second longer before turning back to the window, taking in a shaky breath.

"You're really stupid you know… God I can't believe you would do that to dad… You really are a bastard… Hopefully you kept it wrapped when you were fucking Tala… Maybe I should hate him too then, since he knew you were with dad and all… Was it worth it at least, hm? Did you get what you were looking for?" He can't hear me, but I feel like I need to yell at him. For once he can't lash out and smack me for yelling at him, so I'm taking the opportunity given to me.

"You better not give dad some kind of viral disease, I'll never forgive you if you do…. He'll take you back, I can see it in his eyes… He's not going to run right back into your arms, but he'll eventually come back. We're all he has… You're all he has right now until I can come back, I can't come back just yet though so you two need to get along while I'm gone." I huff out a bit exasperated since I'm not getting a response back, I know he can't but talking to yourself isn't all that appeasing.

"If I were you, I wouldn't bring Tala back around for a long, long while. In fact, you should probably fire his ass while you're at it. He did kind of let me steal from you, though I did make it really hard for him to figure it out so that's not really his fault completely." I shrug my shoulders, and then go quiet for a moment while I try to think of something else to say to him. Venting is good, even if he can't respond.

"Kain?" If I had skin at the moment to jump out of, I would have as he says my name and looks over towards me.

Our eyes meet and for a second it feels like he CAN see me, my eyes go wide, and my mouth hangs open slightly. Can he see me?!

"Wait…" He closes his eyes and puts a hand to his forehead before looking back at me, he blinks a few times before he reaches out towards me.

"SHIT!" With that I will my spirit to return to my body before he can touch me.

* * *

"You okay?" Brooklyn asks, placing a hand on my shoulder as I come back to my body.

"He… He saw me!" I blurt out, jumping to my feet from where I had left my body in the field of Brooklyn's world.

"It can happen, if you stay too long your body will try to reattach with your spirit." He explains calmly, but I'm beyond calm as I'm breathing rapidly to refill my lungs.

"You could have told me that! How long was I even gone for?" I have no sense of time when I go all spirity.

"Four hours… They're not doing too good, are they?"

"No…" I hang my head, finally able to breathe normally now.

"I heard what you were telling Kai… Maybe it would be best you go home now." He removes his hand from my shoulder and I snap my head up to look at him.

"No, no I can't yet. I haven't fully gotten a hold of this, you know that. I need you… I need you to help me with this." I recover quickly, making sure I don't slip my other intentions to stay with him. Yes, I do need him to teach me how to control my own darkness, but I also want to be with him, even if he doesn't want me to be with him.

"Maybe not forever, but to show them you're still safe. I'll go with you even, and we can explain to them where you've been and what your plans are."

"I… I never thought of that before… I… Maybe it's worth a try?" I sigh out, I do want to see my fathers, especially now. "What if they don't let me go?"

"They will, if they know it's for the better." He just smiles at me, and I nod.

"Let me think it over first…" I say and start towards the mansion, I've worked up a sweat while being in spirit form and my clothes are soaked.

He watches me leave, like he always does but never says anything to my back. Whenever he speaks it's always to my face, when he has my full attention. The further I get away from him the harder my darkness is trying to lead me back to him, but I push it back with a bit more ease than what I've been able to do before. His training has helped already immensely, but over the past months of training with him I'm having nightmares again.

I haven't told him this, I don't know how to bring it up to him. The nightmares are getting worse though, and each time it ends with me killing someone and hearing my dad's terrified screams in my ears. The darkness's voice is always Kai's, but the women I kill aren't my sister and they're just random people I've never met before.

Maybe it is time we go back to the real world, even if it's just for a little bit to see my parents. We haven't left Brooklyn's world in over two months, and as much as I love it here I do miss the way the real world feels. This place has a calming atmosphere about it, where the real world is just that, real. Real and full of problems, full of other people's hates and fears. They seep into me and feed my own hates and fears, it's like sucking into a straw and it fuels the darkness. That's why we've kept to his world for now, last time we were out in the real world I snapped.

We were in the UK at the time, and too many people were scared because there had been a terrorist attack, so with all those feelings mixed within mine became too overwhelming for me to handle. I almost crossed the line, only being pulled back by Brooklyn who took us home immediately at the last second. Though the police man was asking for it, having recognized me on the missing persons poster and trying to catch me for the sake of taking me home. He caught me, and because I tried to run away he hit me, so I hit him back and I almost didn't stop.

We've been here since, and I honestly wouldn't want it any other way. He'll go out to get food for us, sometimes he'll bring me back some little trinket from wherever in the world he decided to go. Last time he went off he went to Egypt and brought me back a golden scarab pin, and I could tell it hadn't been cheap to buy. These little gifts would make one think there's something hidden behind it, but I've come to learn there's nothing beyond him just being a nice guy. It's heartbreaking really, but I won't step past the line he's clearly drawn as my teacher. I don't want him to hate me, I don't think I'd be able to fight him off if I were to piss him off.

After finishing my shower, I head back downstairs. I can hear him shuffling around in the living room, so I jump the second-floor railing and land on me feet as neko-jins do.

"You're going to hurt yourself." He says, even though he didn't even look up from the book he's looking at.

The living room sits right under the balcony, so when I jumped down I was already partially in the archway. He's slightly leaning on the back of a white fabric couch, he likes white, with a book held in one hand.

"Nah, I'm a neko-jin remember?" I wipe his word away with a hand as I walk over to him.

"Part."

"What?"

"You're only part neko-jin, you may have the ability to do as most do, but as you get older your body won't be able to keep up with your… Antics." He looked up to meet my eyes for a second, then back down with a smirk on his thin lips.

"How do you know so much about neko-jins?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest as I lean against the couch beside him, crossing my ankles as well.

"I read about them, they are fascinating creatures. I had never met one before, until I met your father." He tells me but there's really no expression on his face beyond the one he always has.

"Did you two get a long?" I raise an eyebrow. It may seem like a silly question, but I still don't know much about my parent's history with Brooklyn beyond what he told me when he had to battle Kai.

"Oh no… No, he was rather upset with me after my rematch with Kai." He chuckles like it's a joke, so I just wait for him to continue but he goes quiet.

"Sooo?" I urge him to continue. He looks up at me from his book and studies me for a second before closing the book and releasing a breath of air in a sigh.

"After the rematch between Kai and myself he was barely alive, hence why there were rumors he had actually died. It took them three hours to find his body, from what I was told he had dragged himself to the back alley of BEGA to die. His wounds were very severe, and Dranzer had shattered. His tie to her was severed and he was slowly losing his life, but being a phoenix, she came back eventually. But, her time away from him caused him to fall into a coma for three months." He looks at me to see my reaction, my mouth is slightly ajar, but I don't really have anything to say.

"He had been there for Tyson during our battle, but I thought it was just an illusion created by my mind as my world had already crossed over into the real one. By the time he woke up BEGA was disbanded, and Mr. Dickenson was able to start the BBA from the bottom up again, around this time I was staying with a friend of mine while my mind was recuperating from my battle with Tyson. During the time Kai was in a coma however, I received a visit from Ray. He was not very happy to see me, in anyway shape or form."

"What'd he do?" I can't help but smile, picturing my dad flustered over my father being in a coma is pretty funny and cute.

"If I remember correctly, he said something along the lines of. 'You better pray to whatever higher power you believe in that he wakes up, otherwise I will kill you with my bare hands.' It was slightly adorable, but not very threatening. He looked threatening, but I knew he wouldn't be able to actually do any damage even if he wanted to." My smile widens, and he takes notice and smiles too.

"I never knew, they never really told me about how or when they got together."

"They weren't together then, not that I could tell. But I saw it, in Ray's eyes the way he watched Kai battle me and the desperation in his voice when Kai walked away after winning. I could tell he liked your father, for how long I do not know. Maybe it's something you should ask when we go and see them, no?"

"I… I haven't made my decision yet… I want to… I'm just… Scared." My smile fades and so does his, he shifts and places a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't be, I'll be there with you all the way. After all, I am your mentor am I not?"

"Yeah… You are and part of that is what's bothering me, with the kind of history you have with my parents I don't think they'll take it well."

"Kai will understand, he has the same darkness within him. It's not as strong or demanding as yours or mine is right now, but he'll understand when we explain to him why you'll be staying with me." He removes his hand from my shoulder, but I miss his touch.

"He does? I guess it makes sense if he wielded Black Dranzer before I did… I think I felt it a few times when he'd get angry at me, but our darkness's clash with each other. Yours and mine don't, why is that?"

"Because his darkness is hidden, while yours and mine have been fully released. His is trying to break free to take yours, but he can't make it happen. One reason is because he may not realize it, the other is because you are his son and to take it would mean taking your life." That makes sense, just as much as everything else does I suppose.

"He tried…" I breathe out and glance to see his reaction, his eyes flash with something but only briefly.

"What do you mean?" He asks through gritted teeth, and it's the first time I've actually seen him look slightly angry.

"I attacked him, and he defended himself, but he didn't stop… He almost killed me that night, if it wasn't for Bryan and Tala being there to pull him off he might have. I felt it though, his darkness trying to take mine."

"Maybe it is better we don't go then…" He mumbles out and looks away from me, his calm demeanor back like the snap of a finger.

"I don't know… I mean… I do miss them, and you made some valid points. If we go it'll only be for a very short while, and only to let them know I'm alright. If they don't agree to it, you can just whisk us away anyways and they can't follow." He smiles at that and I smile too.

"We'll go tomorrow then, how's that sound?" He pulls away from the back of the couch where we've been standing the past hour talking.

"Sounds good to me teach." I smirk showing my fangs and he smiles at me before walking away without a word.

* * *

 **Kai's POV/ December 17** **th**

I know what I saw, I know it was Kain even if it wasn't fully him. Ray doesn't believe me, how could he? But I know it was him, it felt like it was him and since yesterday I haven't been able to think straight. Was he dead, did I just see his ghost? I only caught a few of his words, he didn't sound happy with me and it seems he knows that I've cheated on his father which only adds to the guilt I feel for ever stepping that line.

I feel like I'm losing my mind now, every second I'm awake I feel on edge like he might be watching me. I don't know why he would have just appeared here, and I'm terrified to think that he is dead. Every time I've tried to tell Ray he just yells at me and accuses me of making it up, but I know what I saw. He hasn't let me around Kaira since I told him yesterday evening, I've hardly seen her today and it's nearing six at night now. He's never kept her from me and even though she's still in my house, I miss her.

I didn't think I would have connected with her so quickly, but I have, and that bond has only caused me to fight harder to make Ray stay here. I can't lose her on top of him and Kain, they're all I have now.

"Kai?" Ray calls me, and I force my head up off my desk in the study on the first floor.

I've been drinking again to dull my thoughts and feelings, so my head feels heavier than it actually is.

"Hn?" I can't even bother to open my mouth to talk, my head is pounding and it fucking hurts.

"I'm worried about you…" He cautiously steps into the room a bit more, and I can see the worry in his eyes.

It's only been a day since I poured my heart out to him, but he still hasn't given me an answer. On top of that, me running to him telling him I saw our son didn't help the situation any. I haven't stopped drinking since last night, being stuck up in my study trying to do some kind of work but I passed out an hour before he came and woke me up.

"This isn't like you… You've been drinking nonstop since yesterday… We have a baby in the house, you can't be doing that." His tone is stern because he's not happy with me, and I'm not happy with either of us.

"I'm not… I'm not going to hurt her… You haven't even let me see her today."

"How could I?! You've been shit faced since one!" He yells and starts closer to my desk, so I sit back up into my chair, my head swims and protests with a flare of pain.

"Maybe… I wouldn't be… If you just listened to me in the first place! I know what I saw, it was him!" I shout back, but I don't dare move because I know my legs will give out on me.

"Stop, I don't want to argue with you about this again." He holds up a hand and huffs out a breath of air. "I don't know if it's you're attempt at a sick joke, but hearing it five times already isn't funny. It wasn't the first time you told it to me, and it isn't now. Nor do I wish to believe it was his ghost, I won't accept the possibility that he is dead."

"I… I don't think he's dead either… I just… I only said it looked like he was a ghost." God why is it so hard to speak?!

"Just stop… Okay? Please I didn't come in here to argue with you, not while you're like this."

"Then why did you come?" Finally, I can form a sentence without sounding like a bumbling idiot.

"To tell you dinner is ready, I'll bring it to you since you clearly can't walk." He sneers and narrows his eyes at me, and I will myself not to smirk at him, but I do anyways.

"Thanks kitten." I sigh out and my muscles relax a bit, what did I ever do to deserve him? Clearly, I don't.

"Don't call me that anymore." He growls out before turning on his heel and leaves, though the smirk stays on my face.

A few minutes pass by and he comes back with my food and sits on the couch against the wall that faces my desk with his own plate, I don't know why he decided to eat with me, but I don't ask. Like always his cooking is amazing, and it helps a bit to have something in my stomach after not having anything in it the past day.

Everything was going fine, even if there was a slight tension in the air around us. We were eating peacefully none the less when suddenly the room went completely dark on us, the lights in the ceiling and the one on my desk all shattered at the same time. Ray jumped from his spot on the couch and I would have if it wasn't still for the alcohol still within my system, his plate had fallen on the floor spilling his food over the carpet.

"Kai?!" He called out, I could see him from the lights in the hall as the study was the only room having gone dark.

"It's alright, a fuse might have busted." I say calmly, but even with the alcohol in me I know that's bullshit, light bulbs don't just explode because of a stupid fuse.

I will myself to stand, and it's a bit easier to do than I had anticipated and go to where he is. The air in the room turned colder than it already was, and the room got darker for a second, in a flash it brightened again and we both closed our eyes at the blinding light. Instinct told me to shield him, so I put my arms around him and put my body in front of his. He didn't pull away or make a fuss, he actually held onto my shirt as if it was a life-line.

"The hell?" I managed to growl out, and with the light the room got warmer.

Slowly I opened my eyes, the light having died down from what I could tell behind my closed eye lids. Ray opened his around the same time, blinking a few times to adjust to the darkness of the room again. My eyesight adjusted a bit slower and I heard Ray let out a gasp as he was looking over my shoulder. Turning around and blinking a few more times I was able to see what he saw, and my hand I left on his shoulder clamped down as his tightened their hold on my shirt.

"Oi, hey dads!"


	9. Monster

**Since I'm going to be busy tomorrow I figured I'd submit the next chapter now. This is done in Ray's POV, since I said I would be adding one or two in here for him. He's been dragged through the mud enough, I figured it'd be nice to get a little glimpse of what's going on in that head of his at all this. There's a bit of rambling at the beginning, but I think that's kind of how Ray's mind would be working at the moment.**

 **The song is Monster by Paramore. I think it really speaks about Ray and Kai's relationship since the very beginning to where they've ended up now.**

 **Hope you all enjoy this chapter, it was rather fun to write with my sad attempt of being funny.**

* * *

 **Ray's POV/ December 17** **th**

I remember when I was just a child, that I saw the world through rose colored lenses. There was nothing wrong in the world, nothing could hurt the people I cared for. Sure, I was on my own since my birth and I didn't know my parents. I was raised by my uncle till I was ten, and then favored by the Wong's who were also our village leaders. It was simpler times, times I wish I could go back to.

When did my life get so turned upside down? Maybe it started when I held my first beyblade, oh the rush I felt when I had used it the first time, I was six. My love for the game only grew, it helped me make lifelong friends, well at least till I announced that I was bisexual. Mariah stayed with me though, even though the revelation broke her heart because I am more attracted to the same sex than the opposite.

Reason two for when and how my life turned upside down was when I got Driger, who should have been passed onto Lee. It was HIS families bit-beast after all, but no it was little old me who got it. I'm really still trying to figure that one all out, but I'm not complaining all THAT much. Though, if I hadn't been given Driger I would have never came across reason three on when and how my life spiraled out of control. Mr. Dickenson, rest his old soul. Yup, if it wasn't for him finding me I would never have met reasons four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine.

Number four would be Tyson, the rookie nobody thought would have made it past his first match. I didn't even bother fighting him all the way through in our match, boy what a mistake that was. I should have wiped the floor with him when I had the chance, he only got stronger and better over the years and not once have I beaten him since. It's pretty sad, since I was considered the best back in my village, but what does that place know? This isn't the village, this is the big bad world the elders always warned us about, sadly I never listened them. Even though I consider Tyson a close friend, somehow, it's his fault for me meeting reason nine and that's why he's on this list.

Number five would be Kenny, the little know it all he was. Well if he was so fucking smart, how did he allow Kevin to swipe some of his data that first year we were a team? If he was that smart he would have put a failsafe on the damn thing, or a password or something. But no, and who went out there in the pouring rain to get his data back? Me! Then, I go and lose Driger because of that, and somehow, I made a trend of doing that. Kenny wasn't all that bad I supposed, he did help the team win a lot of battles. The reason he's on this list is because he knew Tyson before any of us, and if it wasn't for him I would have never met Tyson.

Number six and seven are none other than Max and Hilary, the sugar rushed puppy dog and Satan's wife, freshly spit out of hell. Now, Max wasn't all that bad, unless you count the nights I had to stay up with him while he puked his guts out from the surplus of sugar he ate during the day. In all honesty it was HIM who beat reason eight, and at the time I was glad he did, now I'm not so sure. Maybe it would have been fine if we let reason eight go down, just like Rose let Jack go down from Titanic, a bit cynical I know. Satan's wife on the other hand, she's just annoying as hell. Constantly barking orders and fighting with Tyson, I'm actually a bit surprised those two didn't get together. Then again, she was always making googly eyes at reason eight, so it makes some sense they didn't get together.

Reason eight, I could write an entire book series about this jackass. Where to begin with him? Ah, the first day we met went wonderful, NOT. He was such a pompous ASS! Maybe not to me half the time, but god was he rude to the others. Always stuck in a fucking corner brooding over something, barely in the team's conversations like he wasn't even there half the damn time. If he wasn't so drop dead hot, I wouldn't have ever noticed him.

The first year of knowing him was rough, but eventually we made due and I understood him a bit better as we learned about his past. So, he had a disturbing childhood, so did I but I didn't hate the world for it. Second year he was better, it was like he wanted to be with us and help us. He did go out of his way to help me get Driger back, the second time I lost him. He actually spoke to me a lot more often around then, and I was actually proud to say I had become a close friend to him. I don't think he knows it, but I did touch his leg that year when we were put to sleep on our way to fight team Psykick. That year was when I actually started liking him, beyond his looks. He had shown us a different side of him, and it was refreshing to say the least.

Third year was rough, on all of us. Here we were being given an opportunity to get our hands on the championship title, but we had to split up to do so. I'll be honest, it was hard leaving them all. When I had to battle him in the semi-finals, it was hard. I gave it my all, I did my best, but I know I wasn't putting everything into it because I didn't want to hurt him, another mistake I wholly regret. After all that was said and done, reason nine comes back into play and our valiant hero Tyson rushes off to save the day again, dragging us along with him!

We all could have lost our lives by trying to defeat BEGA, I'm surprised we all walked away from it honestly. Tala, hate him too, and eight were both in the hospitals at some point after fighting one of nine's little minions. If it wasn't for Tyson being Tyson, he would have ended up in the hospital right next to eight. Lucky for us, and the world, that Tyson has the power of friendship on his side and we all weren't horribly crushed by crazy Brooklyn. Though, I do suppose if it wasn't for crazy Brooklyn I would have never been given the opportunity to be anything more than friends with eight, but yet that is exactly WHY my life turned upside down!

Yes, because of eight's near-death experience, he gets the balls to ask me out! I say yes! A year later I get pregnant! I run away because eight has a psycho grandfather who wanted me dead, so I leave at the age of seventeen while pregnant. Fast forward a few years and my child decides to go find eight, shit happens and nine comes back into play and boom! My whole little perfect life I tried to build up is shattered in the course of two months. Two fucking months is all it took for nine to toss everything back in my face, cause my son to join the 'dark side', try to kill me, the man who gave life to him, all for what? So I can stand here in eight's grand study to see my son holding hands with crazy Brooklyn?! Why was I cursed at birth, that's all I'd like to know?

"Oi, hey dads!" My darling baby boy says to us, his smile is so sweet and all I want to do is knock his fucking teeth in!

He and crazy Brooklyn let each other's hands go, and my beautiful son whom I gave life to turns to face me; I'm going to fucking kill him! Eight doesn't move much, I don't know or really care what's going through his head at this point, probably nothing since he decided to drink his brain cells away, so I decide to step up and cross the space between my son and me.

"Kain." I say calmly, breathing in to still my nerves. I say a little mantra in my head as I stand in front of him, he's gotten taller since being gone for almost a year; how nice for him.

"Hey dad." My wonderful child says to me all excitedly.

"How have you been? You been good?" I eye him up and down, the same calm tone as before.

"Yeah, been pretty good." He says cheerfully with a stupid smile on his face.

"Good." I say and draw my hand back in a closed fist; screw the damn mantra!

I don't think anyone expected it, his eyes going wide as my fist connected with his face will always be a kodak moment in my mind. The way his body flew through the air and into the bookshelf behind him, will always bring some kind of smile to my face when I think about it. Brooklyn looks downright shocked, his face is priceless to look at since his eyes are wide and his mouth is slightly open. Kai, makes some kind of noise before stepping beside me but he doesn't say anything.

Our spawn we somehow managed to make readjusts himself against the bookshelf's broken pieces and the books that fell around him, his nose is bleeding but not enough for him to die.

"Care to fucking explain what the hell you were thinking?!" I go off before he can even stand up straight.

"Nice to see you too." He cracks his jaw and wipes the blood off on the sleeve of his shirt.

"Don't give me lip boy." I snarl, my vision constricting and it's then that I notice his pupils have been slit this entire time even though he isn't angry.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to start off like this. Maybe we should go somewhere that has better lighting." He suggests, reminding me that when they made their grand entrance all the lights blew out. The hall lights are keeping the study barely lit up, but I can see them perfectly. Brooklyn and Kai might be having trouble seeing, but I can care less if they stub their toes in the dark.

"Fine." I hiss out and since he's now closest to the arch way he goes first, I follow with Kai and then Brooklyn behind us.

We don't go far, just into the next room over which is the living room. It's better lit, and there's plenty of things I don't mind sending him through in here. Kai's eighty-inch screen TV would do, he hardly watches the damn thing anyways.

"Alright… Explain, now." I demand, crossing my arms over my chest as we all file into the living room.

Kain stands in front of me in the middle of the living room and Brooklyn goes to his side. Kai stands next to me by the archway, but he keeps a few steps away from me. Wonder if he's scared I'll hit him next, he should be because I've been wanting to.

"Well… It's kind of hard to explain really… The short version of it all is that I ran away because I was afraid I was going to kill you guys, that I was just going to keep hurting and pulling us apart because of my tie to Black Dranzer. It kept pulling me, telling me to do horrible things to you and I couldn't. I had to leave before one of us killed the other…" He looks at Kai for a second when he says the last part.

"Your darkness was trying to feed off mine, and mine was trying to feed off yours. One of us was bound to kill the other, that became very apparent when I attacked you and you fought back. I don't blame you, I really don't. It was my fault for having attacked you that way, even if it really wasn't me." He's still focusing on Kai as he talks, and I remember what it is he's talking about, that night when those two actually fought had been terrifying to watch.

I personally have been on the receiving ends of both of their fists at some point, none of it is fun, but Kai being older and stronger would have killed Kain. The power he put into his fight with our son was nothing compared to the fight we had when I first got here a year ago. Even though I had seen them lunge at each other, knew who they were the entire time, part of me didn't recognize them. Kain didn't look anything like my son, while Kai didn't look anything like the man I've known half my life.

"What do you mean, it wasn't you?" I manage to ask, my temper is slowly dying as now I'm starting to just feel happy that he's actually standing right here in front of me.

"When I got Black Dranzer and Boris did a few of his experiments on me, it awoke another me, a split personality if you will. He mainly came out because of the anger I harbored for you two, no offence. After everything was said and done with Boris, the other me didn't go away and his control over me was just getting worse. I would have killed Vladimir if the authorities didn't step in, one of us would have killed the other if it wasn't for Bryan and Tala being there. I'm learning to control it though, with Brooklyn's help." He gestures to him standing beside him, he hasn't said anything this entire time as his entire focus has been on my son.

I can't say I really like the look he's giving him, even if all he's doing is smiling that same smile I remember from our youth.

"How… Why… I'm missing something here, obviously. But why him, how did you meet him?" I manage out, trying to piece together everything he's telling me.

"When I went to Japan when I first ran off he found me, took me to his world and has since then helped me learn to control my powers. I learned a few things on my own the first three months I was gone, but the drive to kill was always still there. I haven't killed anyone yet, so don't worry about that." He quickly says the last part and I'm a bit relieved to know that, but I never even knew he had these kinds of thoughts and feelings. Part of my heart hurts from not knowing, we had always been so close when he was growing up.

"Were you here yesterday?" Kai steps in, why of all times now I don't know.

"Yes." Kain smiles a bit sheepishly at us. "It's something Brooklyn taught me to do, I can will my spirit to leave my body and, so I came here to see you guys. I had been here a few times before, but yesterday I stayed a bit too late and that's why you were able to partially see me." Well damn, he was telling me the truth then; my bad.

"I told you." He whispers out to me, and I give him a slight apologetic look.

"Why did you come back then? Why haven't you actually been here in person until now?" I step in again, I need every detail because I'm slightly afraid that I might be dreaming, and this isn't actually happening.

"Because you two are falling apart, and watching you two fall apart isn't something I wanted to happen because of me. I missed you guys too and all, but my real reason is because of what's going on between the two of you."

"Don't blame yourself, the choices I made are my own." Kai tells him firmly, but Kain just slightly shakes his head at him.

"You wouldn't have made them if I hadn't left, if I hadn't left dad wouldn't have had a hard pregnancy. Yes, what you did were your own choices, but it would have never had to come to that if I was here. You two were happy, I could see it before I left. That's why I did leave, so you two would be happy. I was afraid I was going to break that happiness, I did it for you and what do you do? You two go and screw up my generous donation." I'm going to hit him again, how can he be so cocky right now?!

"You can't fix this problem this time Kain." I tell him calmly, though there is a slight hint of annoyance in my tone.

"I'm not going to, you two are." He simply tells me with a smile on his face.

"It's not that simple son…" I sigh out, why must he be so stubborn?

"It is actually. You love dad, and dad loves you. I'm not saying forget what he did, but give him another chance. It was a mistake, one that he made many times… But a mistake none the less. He was hurting, you know him better than I do to begin with, would he really have intentionally hurt you that way if there was another way to have eased his own pain?"

"Yes, yes there were plenty of other options. I was here! I was right fucking here for him! All he had to do was reach out to me, I would have helped him!" I don't know why I'm crying, but the tears won't stop. "I would have been here for you too if you just asked me! Both of you, both of you couldn't trust me enough to help either of you!"

"Be selfish for once dad, you don't have to take on everyone's pains." He tells me calmly and steps towards me until he's pulled me in an embrace, he's the same height as Kai now and my face rests into his chest.

I don't even bother to pull away from him, he's so much warmer than I remember him to be. He smells different, but it's not a bad smell. His breathing pattern is the same as it's always been, this isn't a dream he's really here but for how long? Surely, he didn't just come here to get his father and I back together, there's something else he wants to tell us, I can feel it.

"Kain… That's not it…" I shake my head a bit, pulling away after he's held me for a minute or two.

"Then what is it?" He sighs out a bit exasperated at me, shrugging his shoulders and slapping his sides as his hands come down.

"It was selfish of you two to go off and do things on your own, you could have told me what was going on, but you didn't." I then turn to face Kai, he's been silent this whole time and I can see the guilt in his eyes for what he's done to me.

"And you, you thought I was too weak to take on your pains on top of mine. I don't know why you would ever consider me weak, our years of knowing each other. Battle after battle should have told you that I am not a weak man, me raising our son at the age of seventeen on my own should have told you that. Yes, I was under a lot of stress. Yes, my pregnancy wasn't all sunshine and rainbows this time. But I was still here."

"But see dad, that isn't being selfish. That's just you trying to do your job as my father and dad's lover, in the end you would have still been in pain and even more so because on top of your own you'd have dads. He couldn't bring me back, he knew that. You were laid up in bed, so you couldn't bring me back. Sure, none of this would have started if I hadn't left, but I had to leave because I was going to hurt you both."

"That… That doesn't make sense Kain. If you had just talked to us about what was going on, this would have been avoided all together." I shake my head a bit, nothing this boy is saying makes any damn sense. I am not getting back with Kai, not now not ever.

"See? There you go right there, how can you still blame dad for finding some kind of comfort in his own way since this wasn't avoided? I couldn't come to you because the other me wouldn't let the real me do so."

"It doesn't matter… What's done is done." I breathe out, I'm not even going to try and make sense of what he's trying to say at this point. He's been hanging around Brooklyn too much, he's speaking in riddles and it's grating on my nerves.

"Ugh, why are you so stubborn?" He whines at me tugging at the ends of his hair, which I've noticed he's slightly let grow out to his shoulder blades, he always said he wasn't going to grow his hair out past his neck.

"Kain, I appreciate you trying to fix this. But Ray is right, what's done is done. Let's drop the subject for now, alright?" Oh, there you are Kai I was wondering where you ran off too since you've hardly said anything through this entire ordeal.

Kain looks from me to Kai and for a second I'm afraid that they might clash with each other, though the way Kain is looking at Kai tells me he's still thinking up more riddles to spew at us.

"Do you regret me?" What kind of question is that?

"What?" We both ask him.

"Do you two ever regret making me?" He says a bit more sternly, and I can see he wants an actual answer.

Let's see, how was he conceived again? Oh right, it was during Kai's belated birthday party. We both had one too many drinks, though he was a bit soberer than I was at the time. The one time we forget to use some kind of protection, it was more of an oops than a 'hey let's make a baby' kind of time. Do I regret it though? No, I loved Kai at the time and if things were different I would have been ready to raise our son together.

"No." We both say, and I look at Kai a bit with a raised eyebrow. Of course, YOU wouldn't have regretted sex, you slimy horny bastard.

"Do you regret making Kaira?" He asks next, and I'm still lost with where he is going with all of this.

She was conceived my first night back in Kai's life, it was more of 'stop hitting me and just fuck me because I've been a celibate horny bastard for fifteen years' than a 'hey let's make a baby again for the hell of it this time' kind of moment. Do I regret it though? No, I loved Kai at the time even if we had just finished beating the shit out of each other. Once again though, if things were different I would be willing to raise our daughter together.

"No." We say again, but this time I don't look at Kai.

"Do you regret ever falling in love with each other?" This was his final question?

"No." Say's Kai rather quickly, did you even think of your answer?

"If I say yes, are you going to tell me that means I regret having you and your sister?"

"No, I'll just tell you you're wrong." He smiles rather brightly at his words and his fangs stick out.

"Kain, this needs to stop now." Kai steps between us, he seems rather frustrated now, must be the hangover kicking in. Hope you enjoy it you cheating bastard.

"Sorry, okay I'm done trying then. Better?" He holds his hands up with an amused look in his eyes.

"Why else are you here then?" Kai goes into his normal pose, arms crossed over his chest with a stern look in his eyes.

"Well I missed you guys, and I knew if I didn't show up at some point you both were going to snap further. It was really Brooklyn's idea to come see you and to let you know that I've been doing alright. Really, I have been, I've been to different places and have learned so many different things." Before he continues his rantings, Kai holds a hand up and he stops talking.

"You're not staying here, are you?"

"No." Want to run that by me again son? I'm not sure I heard you correctly.

"What do you mean no?!" I yell out, yes, I am still here don't you two look at me like I've grown three heads.

"I'm still not ready to come back, not without causing more problems for everyone. It'll just be a step in the wrong direction if I come home now, I'll stop by every now and then to see you guys, so you won't have to worry about me too much."

"You can't be serious, where are you going to live and how?"

"With Brooklyn, the same way we have been for the past five months." He says rather proudly. "I'll return the money I took from you, every penny I promise." He turns to Kai to tell him, what money?

"What money?" I look between the two of them.

"I took some money from dad before I left." Kain shrugs at me.

"Some?! You took five hundred million from me, that's a bit more than 'some'." His temper flares up but only briefly, and I happened to catch a flash of something in Brooklyn's eyes but only for a second.

"And I'll give you every cent back, I promise. Just… Just let me continue to train with Brooklyn, please?"

Kai and I both look at each other for a second then back to our son and then over at Brooklyn, I can tell Kai doesn't like the idea just as much as I do. What else are we supposed to do though? I can see it in Kain's eyes that he is doing better, whatever Brooklyn has been doing for him has been helping him. As a father I feel like a failure, I wasn't able to help my own son face his demons, but this other person was able to.

"I'm not worried about the money Kain… In all honesty I'm just glad to know you're alright." Kai breathes out and I can see he truly means what he's saying, I can only slightly smile at him before focusing my attention back to Kain.

"You promise you'll come back? After everything is done, and you'll make sure to come and see us, right?"

"Only if you promise to work this out." Should have seen that coming a mile away.

"What did I say Kain?" Kai huffs out.

"I know what you said, but if we're in the mood to be making deals right now. This is my request to match yours, it's only fair. I didn't come all this way a year ago to get you two back together for nothing, I didn't run away to protect you both for nothing."

Kai goes to speak again when I place a hand on his arm, his attention turns to me briefly with a raised brow, but I ignore him and focus on our son.

"Alright, I'll accept your deal." Now all three of them are looking at me like I've grown three heads, was it something I said?

"Perfect." Kain claps his hands together as if he's a small child. "Now, I'd like to see my baby sister if you don't mind."

Before any of us could say anything, he vanished in a ball of smoke. Before we had a chance to realize what he had just done, he reappeared in the same ball of smoke but with Kaira in his arms.

"Aw, look Brooklyn isn't she beautiful?" Before we could stop him from taking her over to Brooklyn he was already standing beside him, showing his sister off.

I could feel Kai's stare burning into Brooklyn's head as he tensed beside me, but he didn't say anything. Maybe he was still processing our son's little vanishing act, I know I was. Was this the power he was talking about, could a bit-beast really give him those kinds of powers? If so, where the hell were mine?!

"She is stunning." Now I haven't seen Brooklyn in about as long as Kain has been alive, and I don't know why I was expecting him to have changed over the years but at least I wasn't all that disappointed to see that he hadn't.

"Kain, how long are you staying for?" I had to ask, bracing myself for his answer.

"Just until Christmas, it'll be our first as a family, finally." For a second he looked like another Brooklyn with the way he smiled at me, but I was glad all the same that he had given me his answer.

He was right though, this would be our first Christmas as an actual family, a very disorganized and royally screwed up family, but a family none-the-less.

"Can I talk to you?" Kai ask gently grabbing my arm and before I can answer he's pulling me out of the living room into his bedroom across the hall, closing us in quickly before I even have time to blink.

"What now?" I whine out, I don't know why I did but it came out that way.

"What do you mean 'what now?'. Our son just pops into the house with… With Brooklyn of all people, and we're just going to let him go off again?"

"Keep your voice down, Kain will be able to hear you." I warn quickly, he might not have caught on like I have, but I can see the way Kain looks at Brooklyn. It's a bit unnerving, given their age difference, but I'm not about to start arguing with my son again since I haven't seen him in nine months.

"This just doesn't make any sense… I… I know I had a lot to drink, but did you see him? He just vanished and came back with Kaira in his arms, you did see that, didn't you?" Ah, that's what this is about, he thinks he's dreaming.

"Yes, I saw it. Right now, it doesn't make any sense to me either, but it happened. Can't you just be happy he's back right now?"

"I am… I'm really happy to see he's alright, better than I've ever seen him really… Did we… Did we really fail as parents that much?" He sighs out and he looks upset, he really was hurting too with Kain being gone. It doesn't excuse him for what he's done, but at least he's opening up to me about it now.

"I don't think we really failed him as parents, I know I didn't. It's just, we couldn't help him with this. This was beyond our control, I hate to say it, but Brooklyn is best for the job to help him now." I do hate how that sounded, but it was the truth.

"I know… I just… I don't want to see him leave and you start hurting again." He breathes out, rubbing the back of his head as if saying that makes him uncomfortable.

"I'm not going to be, he said he'll come back and see us."

"Only because you lied to him." He sounds slightly pissed.

"I didn't lie, I will try and work this out. Right now, it's just so he'll come back and see us. I can't say I'm going to forgive you right this second, or tomorrow or even a month from now. But I will try, as long as you try." I tell him sternly, so he understands that what he's done isn't going to just be swept under the rug as if it never happened.

"I am trying, I will always try."

"Then stop drinking, stop smoking, fire Tala or let me hit him a few times till I feel better." He smirks a bit and just nods to me. "I'm serious, about the first two of course. Even though I really do want to hit him, a lot…"

"I'm sorry." He says after having laughed a bit at my words, I've missed his laugh.

"I know."

We stand in a comfortable silence for a moment, neither of us really sure what to say to the other or do for that matter. The last time I was in this room was when I went into labor, while he was out sleeping with Tala. Since I've been back from having Kaira I've been sleeping in the room I had been in a year ago when I first arrived, it's been lonely and hard to do because I miss his natural heat and his touch. I'm not ready to jump back into this bed with him though, or move back into this room with him. It'll take a while before I'm ready to do any of those things with him and I think he understands, but I can see the glimmer of hope in his eyes that now he has an answer.

We've been through a lot already, some of the hardships were caused by me while the others by him, in the end neither of us are perfect and I don't expect us to be any time soon. Like always though, we'll learn from our mistakes and we'll lean on each other like we've always done and have always meant to do. It's amazing we've made it this far to begin with, having been apart for fifteen years and connecting like the years didn't matter. It means the world to me what he's done, but in time I know I'll forgive him as he's forgiven me for my own transgressions.

Before we make a move to the door Kain pops up in the middle of the room in the same black cloud of smoke as before, Kaira still in his arms. I jump back, about to die from a heart attack and all he does is laugh at me.

"Brooklyn went out to get some dinner for everyone, just thought I'd let you know. Oh, and he fixed the lights in the study for you."

"Kain."

"Yeah dads." He looks to me and then Kai as we've both called his name, with a wide smile on his face.

"STOP DOING THAT!" We both yell out.


	10. Branded

**Since I'm home early, here's the next chapter!**

 **Branded is by NateWantsToBattle/ Nathan Sharp.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ December 17** **th**

"You know I don't like you doing that." Dad sighs out as he steps onto the back porch with me, showing his disappointment with my smoking but I can tell by the look in his eyes he's not going to press the issue.

"I know." I smile to him, but I don't bother putting it out.

"Just change your clothes and wash your hands if you go to hold your sister, alright?" He huffs out, taking the seat beside me where Kai would normally sit before I left.

"Yeah, of course." I can do that much, not to mention the residue isn't healthy for her and the smell would just overload her developing senses.

We fall into a silence for a moment, fresh snow is starting to fall but it doesn't bother me anymore. Since I've been controlling the darkness I've become warmer on the outside and inside, it's a pretty nice perk since I hate the cold. Dad on the other hand is holding his thick white cream-colored coat to his chest, the fur lining around the collar blends in with is hair that he's kept loose since I got here.

"How long have your eyes been like that?" I was waiting for him to ask me that question.

"Happened the second month I was on my own. I was always on edge and it just happened."

"Does it still hurt?" He shifts in his seat and pulls his feet on the seat of the chair.

"Not anymore no, they did when it first happened. Brooklyn says they'll go back to normal on their own."

"They won't, you put too much strain on them and broke the nerves. They're stuck like that for the rest of your life, as long as they don't hurt too much you'll be fine. I'll have to call Mariah for the recipe, but there's a remedy to ease the pain if you ever have any." I smile my thanks to him and he gives me a half smile, he's still nervous about having me back right now and I know he's dreading the day I leave.

"Thanks, it does hurt sometimes so that'll be helpful… So… You and dad gonna be alright now?" I lean over a bit towards him, having flicked my finished cigarette over the railing.

"For now." He breathes out and moves his eyes as to not look in mine.

"I knew you still loved him." I say rather proud and he puffs his cheeks out at my words.

"Of course I do… What about you and Brooklyn? I've seen the way you look at him." He meets my eyes once more and I sit back into my chair, bracing myself for his onslaught.

"I do… He doesn't… Sometimes I wonder if it's just because of our darkness, other times I wonder if it's just that I'm attracted to his looks… But the longer I've gotten to know him, I do like him as a person." He makes a noise and fake coughs to cover it up and I smirk at him, subtle he is not. "You don't mind, do you?"

"I do, the age difference is a concern to me and your father. But, what can we do when you don't live with us?" He shrugs his shoulders and my smirk turns into a smile, that went a bit better than what I was expecting.

"What'd he say?" Maybe I shouldn't have asked that, but I am a bit curious.

"You don't want to know." Dad laughs shaking his head a bit. "Don't worry, he's not in there giving him threatening talks to keep his hands off you, it's pretty apparent he doesn't see you the same way."

"Rub it in." I scoff and cross my arms over my chest in an attempt to look upset.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." He laughs some more, and it's good to hear it.

Since I've been able to come around in spirit form, I've noticed he hasn't laughed in months.

"Was it like that for you and dad?" His laughing stops, and he starts to chew on his bottom lip a bit. My second mission while being here, was to learn how they got together.

"I've always been attracted to him, yes. How he felt about me when we first met I don't really know, he wasn't a social butterfly by any means when he was made our team captain. Though with me he would sometimes talk if the others weren't around, we often sat next to each other and watched over the others like their parents."

"So that's why you're so good at it." I cut in quickly.

"Oh yeah, years of practice with those guys made me parent of the decade." He rolls his eyes and I snicker at him, I've missed this and I'm sure he has to.

"So… How did you two get together then if he wasn't interested in you?"

"I never said he wasn't, I just didn't know if he was. He was the one that came to me after battling Brooklyn actually, it was kind of a surprise to me, but I was happy regardless. Even then it wasn't easy, he still wouldn't open up or talk much. We didn't touch for a month when our relationship began, not what you'd call romantic or a good first start to your first relationship."

"I hear ya there." I sigh out, and he rolls his eyes. "But things obviously got better, I mean I'm proof of that." I smirk, and a fang sticks out.

"Yeah, things got better…. Then they got worse because we were found out by his grandfather, and I was going to break up with him but then I found out I was pregnant with you. So, I left instead to protect you and him and everyone else. The rest is history, and we're here now because of it all."

"But do you regret it, like any of it?" I make sure to look at him hard, I'll be able to tell if he's lying since he's terrible at it.

"No. I don't regret any of that, I do regret not telling you about him sooner. I regret that you two didn't get to know each other till it was too late, and then this happening." He motions to me and his happy tone is replaced by a more somber one, he's not lying, and I feel a bit guilty for doing what I have done.

"I'm sorry dad." I stand and grab him into an embrace while he's still sitting. He slightly jumped at the contact, but quickly wrapped his arms around me all the same.

"I know… I'm just glad you're safe." His voice cracks a bit as he's on the verge of tears, and I bite my own back.

"Should probably head in, before you catch a cold." I pull back, but he doesn't let go of my wrists. He studies me for a moment and I can see a small smile coming to his lips, a tear rolls down his cheek, but I don't think it's one of sadness, if anything he looks like he's rather proud of me.

"Good idea, and you need a shower." I pull him up off his chair and he moves with the same cat-like grace he's always had, it's funny that I'm taller than him even though it's only been half a year since I've seen him. Brooklyn is still a head taller than I am, and I'm now eye level with Kai. "Do you want me to cut your hair?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

With that we go inside, the air around us is calm and peaceful. I wasn't really expecting it to be like this, since he did punch me into a bookshelf, but I'm glad it's like this for now. I've done what I came to do and I'm rather proud of myself, and I'm proud of him for being so strong to push past everything he's been through.

When we step inside the kitchen Kai's standing against the counter to our right, Kaira wrapped in his arms feeding from a bottle. He's just looking down at her with a content smile on his face, only to glance up at us once the door closes.

"Is she alright?" Dad steps around the bar that sticks out between the space of the kitchen and where the back door sits, going up to Kai and Kaira.

"Just hungry, she's asleep now though." Kai tells him in barely a whisper, so he doesn't wake her, and I can't but help feel even more happy for them.

This was how it was supposed to be all along, just like this where they take care of my sister together. Where they depend on each other and pull strength from one another, a small pain hits me as I realize that's what I want but can't have. Even just thinking about leaving Brooklyn though causes the other me to snap out of his trance he's been under the past few months, already on the attack and ready to take over if need be.

 **"Don't you dare do that to us! We need him, you know that. You can't come back here yet, not until you fulfill my wish."** As the months have passed he no longer sounds like Kai, but my own demented voice.

 _"I know…"_ I tell him rather meekly, a bit ashamed of myself for even thinking I could come home now and keep everyone safe.

 **"Your father there, his darkness has been raging since we've been here. We can't stay much longer than three days, otherwise there will be problems."** He's right, I've felt it increasing as the hours I've been here have passed by. I don't know if Kai knows or can feel it or not, it's almost like an invisible battle that only I can see between us. His darkness trying to break the chains that hold it tight, while mine is just beckoning it to come out and fight. Part of me think's he does know, he hasn't stepped around me more than three times since I've been here. If we do cross paths he turns and leaves the way he came, not saying anything to me and hardly looking at me. Maybe Brooklyn explained it all to him and he's afraid of it happening, but I know neither will tell me if I ask.

"I'm going to cut Kain's hair, after we should talk." Dad says quietly, but even with me on the other end of the kitchen I can hear him all too well.

Kai doesn't say anything back, just nods his head to him then glances up at me and nods to me. It's really the only kind of interaction we've had so I smile and nod back, and even with that slight acknowledgement the burning in me flares up. before anything can happen, I spin on my heels to the stairs that sit to my left, rushing up them quickly.

"What was that about?" I can hear dad ask, even though I'm already on the second floor.

"Don't know." Kai responds, but with the way his tone carries to my ears I can tell he's lying.

* * *

"Thanks dad, that feels a bit better." I say as I run my fingers through my shorter hair where it rests at the nape of my neck, studying my reflection in my old bathroom mirror.

"It looks good." He muses, giving me a toothy grin in the reflection as he stands behind me.

"You should cut yours again." I turn to him and lean against the counter.

"And have your father kill us both? No thanks." He laughs, placing the hair cutters back into the bathroom drawer.

"So, he likes your hair?" I cock an eyebrow at him.

"More than you'll ever know." He bites back playfully, though I highly doubt that dad. I could hear everything when I was still living here. "Why the sudden interest in your father and I anyways?" Now it's his turn to cock an eyebrow at me.

"You never really told me about him growing up, and then when we were all back together I left. Just been curious really, besides it gives us something to talk about." I shrug a bit.

"So… This has nothing to do with you and Brooklyn?"

"No, I can handle that on my own." I say rather quickly. "Besides… As you said it's obvious he doesn't see me that way, and I'm really starting to think I'm just attracted to his darkness more than him at this point." I breathe out.

"Have you ever asked him?"

"I thought you didn't want me with him?" Both my eyebrows go up.

"Hn, it's not like I can keep you from liking someone so why bother trying? But you'll never know unless you ask him, right?"

Not in a million years would have I ever thought dad would actually be here giving me dating advice, and it's left me speechless with my mouth slightly hanging open.

"Close your mouth." He snaps, and I obey, and my teeth click. He lets out a breath before speaking again. "Maybe it would be better if you waited till you were eighteen, besides you don't need to mess up your mentorship with him over this."

"That's what I've been afraid of…" I mumble out and stare at my feet.

"Well… If and when you tell him, and it doesn't work out, just know he's not the only person out there." He places a hand on my shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze before letting it drop back to his side.

"I know."

"Alright, well I have to go talk with your father now. No eavesdropping, please." He says with a pointed stare before leaving me in the bathroom, I wait till I can hardly hear his footsteps down the stairs before leaving my bathroom.

I stand in my room for a minute or two, I've stayed in this room a few times while at Brooklyn's mansion and every night I had it only hurt me more. Actually being here now, it just feels weird, like I shouldn't be here. Part of me doesn't want to be here to begin with, I'd rather be back in Brooklyn's world in his home in my wished-up room, not the real one. It'll break dad's heart if we leave sooner than what we said we would be, but I don't know how much longer I can stay here.

I leave my room and go to the one that sits on the left of mine, taking in a shaky breath I knock on the dark colored door. In a few seconds Brooklyn opens it and he smiles at me and steps aside to let me in, if I remember right this was Tala's room whenever he decided to crash here.

It's smaller than mine is, but it still has its own bathroom, like all the rooms do. Unlike most of the house and rooms, this one actually has a different color palette than just greys and blacks. The sheets on the bed are red, the curtains are red, some of the paintings have red in them. It's all pretty much red, even though the walls are the same grey color as the others with the same black carpet.

Brooklyn sits on the end of the bed, so I step in a bit more and close the door behind me, turning back to him I take in another breath of air.

"Just wanted to see how you were holding up."

"I'm fine, you look to be doing just as well." He smiles at me.

"I'm doing alright… I think we should leave before Christmas, I don't know how long I can stay here with Kai's darkness trying to break free." I say rather quickly, my nerves getting the better of me because I really wanted to stay for Christmas.

"It's your call Kain, we can leave now if that makes it easier. Or if you want to discuss this with your parents first, we can do that. Whatever makes you more comfortable, we'll do that." He offers and the smile fades as he looks at me more sternly, a bit of concern mixes in his tone.

"I don't know… I mean, we can always come back on Christmas I suppose…"

"We could, but you would have to come on your own then."

"Why?" I shout a bit too loud.

"I have something I have to do then, I wasn't going to be here that day to begin with." His words light a fire in me, he never told me this before and finding out now has pissed me off.

"When were you going to tell me this? What is it you have to do?" I've never had an argument with him before, so I don't know how this is going to end up, but I'm still angry at him and the burning is swelling.

"I wasn't going to tell you." He stands now, and I step back, his movement wasn't threatening but the air in the room got colder and it actually hurt.

"Why weren't you going to tell me? Did you think about what could have happened if I woke up and you weren't here?" I back my tone down a bit as I speak, and his face softens a bit more.

"Because it was not something you needed to concern yourself with, you have your tugs and I have mine and it's been a while since I've followed my tug. You would have been fine seeing me gone, you have your family here and I know you wouldn't harm them just because I wasn't here."

"You don't know that! Do you have any idea what you mean to me?! Leaving like that, without telling me, would just make it look like you didn't care about me. How fair would that have been to me?" I lash out and I'm well aware that my dad could be hearing everything I'm saying, but right now I don't care.

"I would never intentionally hurt you, you do mean a lot to me and that is why I have to follow my tug. It'll just be for a day, I'll come back as soon as it's done."

"Take me with you." I jump in and his eyes widen for a second.

"You're not ready." He shakes his head at me.

"I am, I know I am."

"You're not!" He yells, and my blood runs cold, he's never yelled at me and he's never had that darkness in his eyes before. He doesn't even look like Brooklyn right now, but I'm too scared to move.

A minute passes by until his face softens again, and he sighs out, his shoulders slumping forward a bit before he runs a hand through his bangs.

"You're not ready for this, you could completely get lost into the darkness. It's a very delicate line you'd be walking, and I can't risk that, I won't risk that."

"So you'd rather me risk dealing with Kai by myself?" I manage to speak but my voice feels so weak and my throat is dry.

"I told you he's not going to harm you, he knows what will happen."

"Did you tell him?" I jump into his sentence.

"Yes, it was better he knew what was going on with the both of you before something happened. He is not my concern though, you are, and I still stand by what I said. You will not come with me, you will stay here with your family. I will come back, I promise." He tells me this while closing the gap between us and cups the left side of my face in his hands, the coldness in the room vanishes when our skin makes contact and I feel myself wanting to melt under his touch.

His touch is always calming, the burning in my stomach dissolves instantly and I no longer feel the way I had before. The way he can just calm me down with a simple touch does nothing to help me understand my feelings for him, one side says it's the darkness in him calming my own because he has a better control over it than I do. While the other side is me being a hormonal teenager whose mentor is ridiculously good looking, and kind.

"I know what you feel for me, but I will not step that line. Not yet." With that his touch vanishes and he's gone, there was no cloud of smoke or anything and I'm left with the tingling sensation left by his touch on my cheek. I didn't even notice the tears running down my face, but I didn't do anything to wipe them away.

As the days passed by it was getting harder and harder for me to control my darkness, it was like everything Brooklyn had taught me and instilled in me vanished like he did. I could actually physically see Kai's darkness now around him, there were no chains and the color of it made me think of hell-fire. It was black as night with a dark red outline, Brooklyn had explained that mine was a grey-blue while his was black with white outlines.

I started to feel how I did before I ever left, I was afraid of coming around my parents and sister. If I somehow lost control over everything it would kill them, or Kai and I would clash, and I didn't want either of those things to happen. I would have left if I could, but I can't access Brooklyn's world without him, so I was stuck here by myself.

I knew that any day I was gonna break, and true enough it happened on Christmas Eve. I tried to keep it at bay, I really did, but it slipped. All I had to do was wait one more day, but no, the other me wasn't having any of that. He said Kai's darkness was now taunting us, and he took over as I sat in the back of my darkness. Luckily for us, dad and Kaira were out that night shopping, he was actually rather excited to be celebrating Christmas as a family; oh how I've disappointed him.

All that time trying to dance around Kai was for nothing, it just made our hunger for the other's darkness grow. His wanted mine and mine wanted his, it was a battle to the death and I only prayed he'd come out on top.

* * *

 **Kai's POV/ December 24** **th**

" **Thought I'd find you down here**." Kain says rather cheerfully coming down the stairs of the cellar, this time I wasn't trying to hide from him though when he found me.

"Just grabbing some stuff, I'll be up in a minute. Is Ray back yet?" I ask looking over my shoulder, holding to bottles of wine in each hand as I was trying to pick which one would be better to have for tomorrow night, Ray's idea.

" **No, they're not back yet**." He sighs out and I can see the dark circles under his eyes, he hasn't been sleeping well since Brooklyn vanished.

It took us a while to get him to calm down after it happened, he didn't want to talk to me about it, so I let Ray do his job but when he came back after Kain had fallen asleep he didn't tell me much. All I know is that Brooklyn is still a freak of nature, that my son has a crush on him, and that they both have a problem with the darkness that was awaked by their bit-beasts. He of all people would not have been my first choice in helping my son, but since our choices were slim, we had to accept it.

The first night they were here Brooklyn warned me to stay away from Kain, he could see my own darkness, the one I felt when I defended myself against Kain before he left us. I heeded his warnings and it hasn't been easy, trying to hide the fact that I was still pissed he had ran off without asking for our help has only fueled a fire in me. Every time I look at him I want to hurt him, more so than I ever had before. I don't want to hurt my son though, not like that at least.

" **Need help**?" He asks looking past my shoulder to see what's in my hands and I shake my head no to him.

"I got it." I say rather roughly, the burning in my stomach is slowly rolling forth and the longer he stays down here the harder it will be to control it.

" **Oh… Okay…** " He sighs a bit and turns on his heel, I don't want to let him go because I have missed him around here but it's for the better if I do.

"Wait." I call, and he spins around to face me beaming. "I do need some help actually, which one do you think Ray would like better?" I hold the two wine bottles up to show him and he steps closer to look, this closeness rolls the burning I can almost taste the fire in my throat.

" **Hm… I dunno. Shouldn't you know this, you've been with the guy how long now**?" His cocky attitude is nothing new, so I ignore it.

"When we were teens we got what we could, we weren't really into this kind of stuff." I offer rather dryly, and he just smirks at me.

" **I'd go with the red then, he wasn't big on drinking much but when he did it was always red**."

"Thanks…" I put the white back and hold the red a bit tighter.

" **Can I ask you something**?" No, I'd rather you go back upstairs and wait till Ray gets home.

"What?" I snap a bit, though I didn't mean to.

" **Why did you do it? I mean, I get the need to relieve stress and all that and dad wasn't exactly in perfect health to give you either sex or comfort, but why**?" He eyes me curiously, and I ignore the flare again in my stomach.

"That's exactly why, he couldn't be there for me. It wasn't to hurt him further, I didn't want him to know obviously. Why are you asking me this, you came back to make sure we made amends?" I raise an eyebrow at him, for the most part I'm getting tired of having to explain why I cheated on Ray so many times.

" **Yeah, I was just curious is all… I mean… Dad told me he always liked you, so I wanted to see what you had to say**." Sometimes, I wonder if he really is my son with the way his mind works.

"What does this have to do with anything?"

" **It doesn't, just asking. Do you still love dad**?"

"Yes, we've been through this." I grit my teeth and grip the bottle in my hand a bit tighter.

He doesn't say anything for a minute as our eyes are locked onto the other's, there's a tension in the air but I don't really know where it came from. With the burning in me I try to push it down and press past him, before I get too far his hand grabs my shoulder and I tense. He radiates a heat that is hotter than my own, part of having a phoenix as our bit-beasts have given us that, and the heat actually burns me. I hiss and pull away, glancing at my shoulder and my eyes go a bit wide at the sight of my jacket being singed.

"Care to explain?" I growl out, narrowing my eyes at him.

I don't know why he wants to instigate this, I know I don't want this to happen. There's not much I can do though if he attacks me, all I'll be able to do is hope Ray stays away a bit longer and pray that we don't kill each other.

" **You may still love dad, but what you did has really, really pissed me off.** " He snarls and before I can blink his fist flies at my face, I duck down to dodge it and the wine bottle slips from my hold and it shatters on the concrete floor.

I finally see that he's no longer my son, the man that's before me looks like him but there's a feral look in his eyes, and that's not just because they're more cat-like. There's a darkness around him and I can barely see it coming around him, taking him over and I can feel my own burning through me. He's had time and training to control his, whereas my own has been locked away all these years. What that will mean, or do, is unclear to me.

Brooklyn said if we clashed, I could kill him because my darkness hasn't been controlled, but I'm still me and I would never kill my son; would I?

* * *

 **When the other Kain is present, the others around him don't know it's him talking, he still sounds the same, only in his head does he sound different.**


	11. Point of No Return

**Thank you to my readers and followers for keeping up with the story, giving me your thoughts on the things that have transpired as the story has progressed.**

 **The song Point of No Return is by the band Starset, I honestly think it just really, really, fits. I did use this song for Phoenix Falling, but it just fit so well for both of these two for this battle.**

 **As always enjoy!**

* * *

 **Normal POV/ December 24** **th**

Both Kai and Kain's breathing patterns were off the charts, already with cuts that let blood seep down their faces and arms. The wine holders were already smashed, having either body thrown into it or a jut of power that escaped one or the other at some point during their battle. Every time they clashed with the other, either with fists or unhinged power the house shook on its foundation. Kain could hear the glass of the windows shattering, but he ignored the sounds.

His focus was fighting his father, killing his father, and with every hit the burning in him intensified. He was no longer in control of his actions or body, while the real him sat in the back of his mind screaming for the fight to stop. Part of him didn't want to stop it though, he enjoyed the warmth each blow gave him, he craved it. Slowly he was starting to see the chains around Kai's darkness crumbling, the same dark look cross over his father's eyes and he knew it wouldn't be long till his darkness broke free; exactly what he was wanting to happen.

Pushing Kain off himself, having been pinned to a wall in the cellar moments before, Kai swung out his fist and it connected with Kain's stomach sending him across the cellar into the other wall. The concrete wall crumbled under the pressure and force of Kain's body, creating a crater in the middle of the wall where pieces of it fell to the floor.

Straightening himself against the wall Kain took in a shaky breath, closing his eyes as he let the warmness over take him and he smiled at the feeling it gave him. His aches and pains were no longer there as the warmness covered him, the cuts he had received slowly healed on their own, all but his scar, and only his blood was left on his pale skin. Slowly his eyes opened, and they locked back onto his target, his father, as he let out a breath of air a grey-blue smog shot out from his chest hurling towards Kai.

Crossing his arms to cover his face, Kai braced himself for the impact, having been on the receiving end of this kind of attack for the past half-hour he knew what to expect. What he didn't expect was for his own dark-red and pitch-black smog to encase him, where Kain's power reflected off his 'shield' and dispersed into the air. Slowly Kai pulled his arms down, glaring over his bangs that were sticking to his forehead at his son who only smirked back, both fangs sticking over his lower lip.

It was too late now though, Kai had tried time and time again to keep it at bay, but now it had broken free. His crimson eyes burned like a flame, and he lunged at Kain with all he had. His hell-fire smog still around his body, protecting him, while streams of it shot out at Kain. At the same time as Kai had lunged from his spot, Kain pushed himself from the wall and met him back in the center of the cellar.

Kai's right hand came up to connect with Kain's face, Kain was quicker and grabbed the fist in his own. In a flash Kai's left hand came up and Kain caught it in the same manner as the other. Kai pushed on his feet as he tried to twist his fists from Kain's grasp, though Kain pushed back against him and they didn't budge. Ever so slightly would one get the upper hand, only to be thrown back into their stance again. Eyes narrowed, teeth and fangs bared, low growls erupting from the backs of their throats, but neither would budge.

Willing and unwillingly, Kai's darkness spread out from around his body as it circled around behind Kain's own. Seeing the attack coming Kain willed his power to his back, as a shield, and stopped the attack from hitting his physical body. Though mustering that amount of power caused his legs to falter and as Kai could feel the weakened stance he pushed further, pulling his hands free and then back at Kain's face. Kai's fist connected in a right hook across Kain's already bruised jaw line, knocking him two steps to the side and then back again as Kai's other fist connected with the other side of Kain's jaw.

The burning within Kai intensified with every blow he landed on his son, who became immobilized under the heavy fists that were pounding down on him. He couldn't regain his footing; his power was weakening as it was being drained with every blow. The real him was still screaming out, but his voice was becoming weak as he could feel his life slipping from him. His own heat was dying out, and the hold the other him had was loosening and he took the opportunity to switch places with him.

Mustering all the strength he had once back into his body, Kain held his arms up to block the onslaught of fists in his face. Willing his shield of power behind him, that was still blocking the blows from Kai's power trying to get at his backside, he hurled it around him and pushed Kai back, his own power following him as he fell against the wall behind him.

Kain's legs were shaking, his breathing was becoming more slow and ragged as he tried to will himself to keep standing. His vision was coming in and out in a haze of darkness and bright lights, he blinked away the haze but even doing that hurt. His entire body felt it was on fire, but it was not his own warmth that he could feel. It was a new kind of warmth that also had a chill in it, and it stung his insides with each breath he took.

Slowly Kai stood against the wall, his own breathing was becoming more shallow but he was still standing with more force than Kain was. His legs weren't about to give out on him, and his heat was his own and it burned him to the core but it didn't hurt. Once again, he got ready to lunge forward, calling his power to come to the palms of his hands and cover up and down his arms; like a pair of gloves.

Before either of them could move, Kain going to crumble to the floor from exhaustion and Kai going in for the kill, a white light blinded them both in the cellar. The heat in the air froze as did they, a bit too stunned and blind to move from their spots. Mixed with the white light was another darkness, but it wasn't as dark as Kai's. That darkness shot out and like a hand grabbed Kai's body and pinned him up against the wall where his feet couldn't touch the floor beneath him.

The white light toned down, dulling the intensity around them all until it was just a soft white glow that lit up the room; like a florescent light bulb. Brooklyn was already standing by Kain's side, his left arm wrapped over Kain's shoulders and keeping him steady. His right arm was held up and directed at Kai against the wall, his power reaching out of his arm and linked to the 'hand' that was pinning Kai to the wall.

Brooklyn had his own darkness across his features, two smaller and sharper fangs were sticking out over his lips. His face contorted with lines of fury and anger, where his own pupils were slit down to the center of his eyes, more of a demonic look than that of a cat's. Two black wings spurt forth from his back, the closest one to Kain wrapped itself around his back, while the other partially covered around his other side to block them both from Kai.

"This has gone on long enough." His voice shook the walls of the cellar, the 'hand' clenched down on Kai's body and he let out a yell of pain from the grip.

"No… No don't… Don't hurt him…" Kain breathed out, barely able to keep his eyes open now as he reached out and grabbed hold of Brooklyn's white jacket in a weak hold.

"If that is what you wish." Brooklyn spoke in a calmer tone, his natural voice returning for that brief moment.

"Thanks…" Kain whispered out, his legs swaying under him as his body fell into Brooklyn's chest.

Catching him with both arms, the 'hand' that was keeping Kai held against the wall released and dispersed in a white light. As Kai struggled to stand, Brooklyn's wings came around his and Kain's bodies. In another flash of blinding light, they vanished, pulling the darkness out of the air that was still surrounding them as they did so. Kai coughed, as he could feel it leave his body and he fell forward face down into the concrete unconscious from the strain he had put his body through.

Returning to his world, Brooklyn laid Kain's body on the bed that appeared in the first wish-room he came to on the top of the stairs. Having laid him down he placed a hand over Kain's eyes and took in a deep long breath, releasing the air in his lungs another white light appeared out from under his hand. It glowed softly and it didn't pierce or hurt Kain, as it slowly healed his dying body. As he stood there mending his ward, his wings shrunk back into his back and his own pupils returned to normal as the darkness across his face left him.

Kain sucked in some air, his body arching up as his lungs filled back in with what they desperately needed. Brooklyn removed his hand from Kain's face, a smile gracing his lips as Kain blinked a few times as his eyesight adjusted to his new surroundings.

"W… What happened?" Kain mumbled out, rubbing the side of his head as the ache began to dull.

"I shouldn't have left you… I am sorry for doing that, putting you through that was wrong of me." Brooklyn said as he sat on the side of the bed by Kain's side.

"Is my father okay?" Kain shot up, every ache and pain his body had before was now gone, as if he had never been dying in the first place.

"Yes, he will be fine. I took what I could from him when we left, if anything he won't remember what happened. I have to go back and take Ray's memories of you being there as well, and fix the house up before he starts to panic." Brooklyn explained in a low tone, as to not upset his ward.

"I… I understand… Will that make them hate each other again? Is there something you can do to stop that, since you'll be erasing their memories of me being there?" Kain asked, hopeful and worry laced in his tone.

"I can alter their memories, make it as if Kai never strayed from their relationship. I think we can trust Tala not to mention anything, so it shouldn't be too hard to do that. If that is what you wish."

"It is, I don't want them to remember me being there if the last thing I did was fight with my father. I don't want them to be still in pain because I can't go back now…" Kain hung his head a bit, willing the tears to not come forth but the harder he tried the harder it was to keep them at bay and they streamed down his pale cheeks.

"I am truly sorry Kain, I allowed my tug to get between us and it almost cost you your life." Brooklyn said as he placed a hand on Kain's shoulder, Kain shook his head a bit, wiping the tears from his face before he looked up.

"It's alright, I'm just glad you came back." He breathed out, their eyes locked with the others.

At that time nothing else mattered to them, they were both now safe, even if their own darkness's were still growing and unsatisfied with them. All that matter to them, the real them, was that they had each other again. Bridging the small space between them Kain leant over, Brooklyn sat still and just before their lips brushed touched Brooklyn pulled back and stood.

"I better go before more damage can be done." With that he vanished.

"Kay…" Kain whispered out, falling back onto the bed covering his face with his arm.

When Brooklyn reappeared outside of Kai's home, he lifted his arms above his head. The entire house shook and trembled, the glass that had been shattered pulled themselves together and mended the broken windows as the pieces placed themselves back inside the frames. The hole in the roof that had been blown open came back together with the planks of wood and shingles that had scattered around the snow-covered ground.

Once the house was mended on the outside Brooklyn stepped inside, as he walked down the halls the pictures that had fallen shot back up, the cracked frames looking as if they were just bought and brand new. The marble pillar by the archway of the study that had cracked was fixed as he walked through, going to the false bookshelf that was blown off its hinges. It lifted from its spot across the study and followed behind him as he made his way down the stairs, replacing itself on its hinges and closing behind him.

Kai was still laying on the floor of the cellar as Brooklyn stepped down the last step, his breathing was shallow and even as if he were just asleep. Quietly Brooklyn stepped over to him and pulled him to his feet, the same white light he had used to heal Kain came forth under the palm of his hands and immediately Kai's own cuts and bruises vanished.

Vanishing from the cellar they appeared in Kai's room, where Brooklyn laid him down on the bed. Kai laid there still unconscious as Brooklyn looked him over, through his eyes he could see the broken chains that had held Kai's darkness and he ran a hand over Kai's body, just hovering it over him, and the chains mended and held back tightly to the remaining power Kai possessed. Just as he had finished the bedroom door opened, Ray stepping inside with Kaira in her carrier.

"Brooklyn? What… What happened?" He sat Kaira down by the door, coming into the room to stand beside Brooklyn.

"They clashed. Kain is safe now, and so is Kai. I just sealed his powers again, while taking most of it from him. It shouldn't ever be able to break forth again, if it does by some chance he won't be as strong as before." Brooklyn explained, running his hand along the length of Kai's body one more time, taking the smaller portions of power he could still see that were trying to seep through the chains.

"Where's Kain then? Can I see him?" Ray asked, sitting on the edge of the bed as Brooklyn moved away from it.

"He's back in my world, you won't be able to go there. It's better he stays there for now, so his body can heal." Ray simply nodded to his words, with a sad look in his eyes.

"I understand… What happens now?" He glanced up, trying to read the orange-red haired enigma.

"You two forget he was ever here, not that he ever existed, but that he wasn't here. You two were never fighting, but always living the life Kain wanted you two to live. It's what he wished, and I intend to make that happen." Brooklyn explained, having gestured towards Ray and Kai on the bed.

"He promised… He promised he'd come back though…" Ray sighed out, placing a hand on Kai's chest.

"Someday he will, but not now."

"Alright…" Ray nodded, then looked back up at Brooklyn with a fire in his eyes. "Take care of my son." He threatened, a fang sticking over his bottom lip in a threatening manner. Brooklyn only smiled, tilting his head a bit.

"Always." He said and then stepped closer, placing two fingers against Ray's forehead.

Another white light, brighter than the ones that appeared under the palms of his hands broke out. Ray's pupils slit and then dilated in rapid changing intervals, his mouth parted open and as Brooklyn pulled away Ray's body fell over on top of Kai's chest. Doing the same thing to Kai, Brooklyn placed two fingers to his forehead and the light reappeared. Kai's back arched forward as a grunt of pain passed his lips but his eyes never opened, as Brooklyn pulled away Kai's body relaxed back onto the bed.

Glancing over the two before he left, he turned back and pulled Kaira from her carrier, placing her in the center of the bed and placing Ray on the other side of the bed, caging her in between her parents. Checking over what he had promised to do for Kain one last time, he vanished again.

When he returned home he appeared in the center of his all-white kitchen, Kain was sitting on the counter eating a sandwich, having an extra beside him on a plate for Brooklyn.

"How'd it go?" He asked, having swallowed the bit he had been chewing when Brooklyn appeared.

"It's done, you should be resting." Brooklyn said as he turned to face him, Kain nodded, picking up the plate and offering it to Brooklyn. "Thank you." He took the plate calmly and sat on the counter across from Kain.

"About before… I wanted to apologize…" Kain said, hiding behind his raven and slate bangs to hide the blush that was forming across his face.

"You can't help how you feel for people, I'm not disgusted by it by any means. I'd rather wait though, until you are a bit older." Brooklyn offered, setting the plate with the intact sandwich beside him, cupping his hands over his lap. Kain simply nodded, taking a bite from his sandwich as he kept his eyes downcast at the white tiled floor beneath him.

"Thanks…" He mumbled under his breath, having finished the second part of his sandwich.

"Of course, I promised Ray I would take care of you and I am a man of my word." Brooklyn smiled to him, even though Kain had yet to look at him. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine…"

"You haven't noticed it yet, have you?" Brooklyn cocked his head to the side a bit, his words caused Kain to look up with a raised brow.

"Noticed what?"

"Your eyes." Brooklyn simply stated, and pointed to the mirror that hung on the wall across from them by the archway of the kitchen.

Kain furrowed his brows but didn't say anything as he jumped off the counter, as he stepped up closer to the mirror his reflection looked back at him and he noticed that his pupils were no longer slit.

"How?!" He spun on his heel and almost jumped back as Brooklyn had stepped up behind quietly.

"I told you they would go back to normal, didn't I?" He smiled down at him.

"You did, but dad said they would stay like that forever… Did you… Did you fix them?" He asked, eyes wide.

"I did." He smiled again, this time closing his eyes in his normal manner.

"Thank you!" Kain didn't think as he jumped forward, taking Brooklyn in a tight hug.

Brooklyn's eyes had popped open upon the initial contact, it took him a minute to move but as he regained his composure he placed his hands around Kain's back and held him close. They pulled apart, teal meeting crimson and they stood like that for a moment before Brooklyn leaned down and brushed his lips upon Kain's briefly.

"I thought you said you wanted to wait." Kain spoke, his breathing quickening.

"I don't think I can… Do you forgive me?" Brooklyn breathed, cupping Kain's cheek with his left hand.

"There's nothing to forgive." Kain answered, reaching up and taking Brooklyn's lips back with his own.

He had never kissed or been kissed before and allowed Brooklyn to gain dominance and take control over them, he didn't protest because he loved how it felt. A jolt of lighting shot down his back to his feet, and he purred into the kiss. Tilting his head a bit to gain better access, Kain parted his lips and Brooklyn slipped his tongue inside, running it along Kain's fangs and the roof of his mouth. Their holds on the other tightened and pulled the other closer, crushing their bodies together.

It was slow at first, nervous hands removed clothing piece by piece. First Kain's black leather jacket fell to the floor in a heap of fabric, Brooklyn's following soon after behind his feet. The heat around them was still burning, their inner demons yelling out and cheering with excitement until they blocked them out. No longer with the distractions clouding their minds Brooklyn stepped forward, backing Kain against the wall of the kitchen where the mirror sat. Kain's head hit it slightly, but it didn't bother him as Brooklyn pulled his waist to meet his and their hips grinded into each other eliciting another purr and moan from the younger male.

Kain's grip on the front of Brooklyn's shirt released and he ran his hands down his chest to the hem of the shirt, tugging on it to signal Brooklyn to take it off. Parting for air and to do as his ward commanded, Brooklyn stepped back and pulled his shirt off tossing it to the side of them. Stepping back up he took Kain's shirt by the bottom hem and lifted slowly and gently, letting Kain slip through it as fast or slow as he saw fit.

Their eyes danced over the others quickly taking in the other's uncovered chests, both toned and slightly glistening under the lights from the sweat that started to form around them. Reaching back up and snaking his arm around the back of Brooklyn's neck, Kain pulled the older male back down to where their lips crashed against the other, his fang nipping Brooklyn's lower lip drawing blood. He didn't flinch and pulled Kain back to him as he had done before, his hunger for the younger male growing with each passing second.

Tongues met and danced in Kain's mouth once more, this time he toyed and fought for a bit of dominance and Brooklyn allowed him to enter his own mouth. His body trembled slightly from the feeling of Kain's tongue running along his and the corners of his mouth, as the taste of blood filled their senses. Hands started their travels once more, taking in every fine curve and defined muscle the other had to offer. Each touch lit another fire and it seared the other's skin but they didn't flinch from the pain, instead they moaned again into the kiss and pressed closer.

As their bare chests touched the fire ignited ten-fold and they jumped back a bit, both blushing madly and breathing hard trying to fill their lungs again with the air they desperately needed.

"You alright?" Brooklyn asked, having recomposed himself before Kain could as the younger male leaned against the wall for support.

"Yeah… Yeah, I'm fine…" Kain breathed out, his eyes half closed as he sucked in as much air as he could. His chest rising and falling as sweat rolled down his pale skin, a slight burn mark appeared on his right breast as one appeared on Brooklyn's chest.

"We should probably stop, before we hurt each other. You still haven't gotten a hold of your power yet, and I don't need mine to get in the way." Kain simply nodded at Brooklyn's words, closing his eyes.

"Good idea…" He breathed out, regaining his composure and bending down to retrieve his clothes.

"Hold on." Brooklyn put a hand up, placing it over the burn mark on Kain's chest where a white light glowed from the center of his palm.

Kain hissed as the burn mark flared up angrily, but as the light grew brighter the pain died away and the mark disappeared. Brooklyn drew his hand back and placed it over his own mark, doing the same to his burn mark until it too was gone.

"Thanks." Kain said sheepishly, slipping his shirt back over his torso before walking out of the kitchen.

Brooklyn only nodded, watching him leave and bound up the stairs two at a time till he could no longer see him.

* * *

 **Alrighty, so I just seriously glazed over Kai's darkness and how mending Kai and Ray's relationship. It may seem like the lazy thing to do, but for the story to keep going the way I'm hoping to take it, it's for the best I promise.**

 **Next chapter is nothing but lemons, I swear I don't know what took me so long to write one into this story. There are a few important parts to the next chapter, so I will divide the sections from the important parts from the lemons so those who don't want to read it can. For those who have been dying for one, I apologize it's taken 12 chapters to get it in.**


	12. Lost In Paradise

**Lemons, so. many. Lemons. I went overboard here as an apology for those who have been looking forward to a bit of Kai and Ray action. As I said in the last chapter, there ARE important things in this, and I will divide them up from the lemons. (Seriously, why do we call it that?)**

 **As a warning, there is a MAJOR time skip coming in this chapter. Always pay attention to the dates, they are slightly important.**

 **Lost in Paradise belongs to Evanescence and it speaks for both lemon scenes/ Kain as a person and his problems.**

* * *

 **Normal POV/ December 25th**

Golden eyes fluttered open, taking in the surroundings offered to them. A smile came to Ray's lips as he saw his daughter laying beside him in his bed, sound asleep as she laid on her back, her little hands held tightly in closed fists. Her thin slate colored bangs falling on her fair colored forehead, she jerked a bit in her sleep and his smile only widened. Glancing past his sleeping infant daughter he looked up and his gold eyes met crimson, seeing the thin smile across his lover's lips as he too had been watching their daughter sleep peacefully between them.

"Hey." Ray whispered out quietly.

"Hey kitten." Kai answered back, in the same low tone.

"I'm going to put her in her room, be back in a second." Ray said as he gently pulled his daughter into his arms, cradling her back and neck in the fold of his arms.

Kai watched him leave quietly, sitting up against the headboard of his bed. His mind was a bit foggy, the dream he had was the only thing that stuck out in his mind without the haze. Kain had been there, he was doing fine and that he only came to tell them that. Even if it was just a dream, Kai had a feeling that it was slightly more, and he was content in knowing that Kain was fine.

The memories he had being with Tala weren't there, all he could remember was that during Ray's pregnancy they had come closer than ever before. They leaned on each other for support, and Ray handled his own pains along with Kai's best he could, but their daughter was still born four weeks premature. After they had brought her home, things were still going good for them and he was thankful for that.

Ray stepped back into the room, his arms empty as he had placed Kaira in her nursery across the hall. Leaving both doors slightly cracked open in case she needed them, he stopped by the doorway and smiled down at his lover who beckoned him back to the bed. Ray happily obliged, crawling over and sitting on Kai's waist and their lips met.

"Merry Christmas." Ray whispered out, having slightly pulled back till their mouths were only a few inches apart.

"Merry Christmas kitten." Kai smirked back, pulling his lover back down to him where their lips met again in a more passionate induced kiss.

 **Lemon Starts**

Ray purred, his body trembling as he let his hands roam up under Kai's shirt, tracing his fingers over Kai's abs and chest. Kai shuddered at the touch, pulling Ray closer to him and then rolling the other on his back. Ray giggled like a school girl and then moaned out as Kai's lips trailed down his chin and jaw, nipping the tan skin gently along his neck and collar bone. Neither could remember the last time they had sex, since Ray had been on bed-rest and unable to. Even through Kaira's four months of life, they hadn't been this close in a long time.

Ray's grip tightened on the back of Kai's hair while his claws scratched Kai's chest under his shirt, his body flexed and tensed under Kai's lips and tongue that darted out every now and then to take in the taste of Ray's skin. Sitting back on the younger man's waist Kai pulled apart Ray's button-down shirt, his eyes dancing over his lover's tan and equally toned chest. The incision from his C-sections near his hips was noticeable and he bent down and kissed it gently, as if secretly thanking him for the children he had been given. Ray arched his hips into Kai's mouth, answering his silent 'thank you' with his own silent 'you're welcome' as he purred and moaned.

Kai's fingers hooked into the rim of Ray's jeans as he ran his tongue along his lower stomach, teasing his lover as he wanted to wait this out as long as he could. Ray bucked his hips again, writhing under Kai's touch a bit too excitedly.

"Be patient." Kai smirked, glancing up to meet Ray's gaze over his rising and falling chest.

"Ass." Ray hissed but held still, allowing Kai to torture him how he saw fit.

Kai's smirk grew as he went back to sucking on Ray's hip bone, having slightly pulled the hem of his jeans down just enough to allow access to his hips. The pressure in both of their groins was already coming in ten-fold, wiggling his hips a bit to relieve some of the pressure, Ray stopped when Kai's hand came down and held him still.

"What'd I say kitten?" Kai smirked, having finished the hickey on Ray's hip as he pulled himself across Ray's body.

"You're not being fair." Ray pouted, narrowing his eyes.

"But this is so much more fun, don't you think?" Kai asked and without Ray seeing had pulled his arm back between them, gripping Ray's hardness through his jeans.

"K… Kai!" Ray bit out, his back arching as he tried to pick up more friction against his lover's hand.

"Say it again." Kai huffed into Ray's ear as he brought his mouth against the space of his earlobe and neck, his breath hot against Ray's already flustered skin.

Pressing down and squeezing his lover's hard-on once more, getting another moan and purr as he sucked on the space of Ray's neck, biting down gently and then licking the red spot that appeared. Ray bit his bottom lip, trying to stifle the moans that wanted to escape. He stopped trying to gain the friction he desperately wanted, just to tease his lover back the way he was being teased. Upon not receiving a response Kai gripped harder and bit down harder at the same time, causing Ray to gasp out and his hips to rise to meet the hold on him.

"Kai!" He blurt out between a moan, quickly biting his lip to keep his words to himself.

"Good kitten." Kai smirked, kissing the angry mark he left on his lover's neck.

Drawing his hand away from Ray's hardness he worked on undoing the jeans that kept his lover trapped and tugged them down past his knees, once he was free he took him back into his hold and began his slow work on teasing and pleasing his lover. Ray kept as still as he could, not wanting to disrupt the menstruation's Kai was working against him. Only giving him a small moan or grunt as he kept biting his lower lip, he closed his eyes tight and fell back into the ecstasy of it all. Laying on his side next to his lover where he had access to every part of Ray's body, Kai leant back over and took Ray's left nipple in his mouth. Gently nipping on it and rolling it between his teeth, blowing cold air against it just to watch Ray's body shake uncontrollably.

Ray laid there lost in the daze created by his love and lust, just about over the edge as Kai's grip got a bit harder and he jerked on him more roughly. Kai could feel the pressure building up in his lovers organ, but couldn't stop and Ray's seed exploded out of him as he cried out Kai's name once more. Taking in sharp breaths of air to refill his lungs, Ray's body shook as Kai didn't stop the movements of his hands and Ray's only response was to press his head back further into the bed and bite down on his lip harder to stifle the louder moans that wanted to escape.

With his hand and fingers coated in Ray's essence Kai released his hold on Ray's member, trailing his fingers to his entrance and gently and slowly prodded until one finger slipped inside. Immediately Ray's muscles protested, and he groaned out and will himself to relax at the familiar feeling. Crooking his one finger inside of Ray, Kai pulled and pushed a few times before slipping another cum covered finger inside his still panting lover.

"Mmmm, d… Don't stop!" Ray grunted out, pushing back against Kai's fingers as they picked up speed nearly brushing his spot.

"Be patient…" Kai whispered out, watching every muscle tense and relax with each pant from his lover, having sat himself next to Ray just so he could watch the way his lover reacted to him.

Widening Ray's entrance, twisting his fingers till he felt he couldn't take it anymore, with his own straining erection, Kai pulled his fingers out roughly. Ray hissed from the empty feeling he now had, his eyes shot open and he glared at Kai who just smirked back. Leaning back over to place a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips, as he pulled on the sides of Ray's shirt, pulling him up into a sitting position. Pressing their lips back together, Kai's hands roamed Ray's broad shoulders slipping the fabric that was already starting to fall off, move down his tan arms until Ray had to slip his arms out of his shirt completely.

With his torso now completely bare Kai left a wet trail of kisses down Ray's neck to his collar bone and shoulders, biting the edge of his shoulder where the more prominent muscle stuck out and enjoyed the way it flexed under his attack. Kicking his legs free from his pants, Ray pinched Kai's own arm that was holding him up beside him.

"Ow, what was that for?" Kai asked smirking, feigning a hurt look.

"You need to hurry this up, before Kaira wakes up." Ray pouted.

"If you keep moaning like that, she'll wake up regardless." Kai's smirk grew wider, pushing Ray back down onto his back and starting to undo his own button-down shirt.

Ray watched him carefully, loving the way Kai stripped down to nothing before him. The way his arms flexed and his back tensed as he pulled his pants off, and crawling back onto the bed between Ray's legs that he had already parted for him. Kissing Ray's legs as he settled back between them, Kai's hands snuck around Ray's upper thighs and pulled him down towards him roughly. Sitting back he placed himself at Ray's entrance, having prepared himself the second his pants had hit the floor. Ray licked his lips and watched with hungry eyes as Kai slid inside him, loving the way Kai's face softened as he let out a low groan when Ray intentionally clamped his muscles around him.

Kai's nails dug into Ray's hips as he rocked against him before pulling back out all the way and back in one fluid motion, Ray's back arched and he balled the sheets into his fits beside him as he let out a long moan. Following the same motions Kai went back out and in, getting the same response each time till he pulled Ray even closer and picked up speed against him. His hands no longer on Ray's hips but around his lower back, keeping him slightly lifted off the bed as he brought his hips crashing down into Ray's, eliciting a louder moan from his lover whose muscles clamped down around him again tighter.

"Fuck!" Kai hissed and paused for a second, trying to regain his bearings before he finished too quickly, wanting to draw this out as long as he physically could.

"Move!" Ray demanded, trying to push back against Kai but was held still by nails digging into his soft tan flesh.

An idea clicked into Kai's head and he pulled out completely, getting an angry stare in return. Ignoring the look he was receiving he pulled on Ray's wrists and laid back, pulling the younger man on top of him. Realizing what Kai was doing Ray waisted no time in straddling his lover's hips, easing himself back down on Kai's member. As Ray pushed himself all the way down Kai's shaft, he threw his head back as another moan passed his lips. Kai's own back arched, his hands coming down on Ray's thighs and clenching the skin as his head pressed down into the mattress of the bed beneath him.

Pausing every now and then as he drove himself down on Kai repeatedly, Ray's claws dug into the sheets by Kai's head. His panting coming back ten-fold and his body shook, having his own erection come back that Kai was now working on with one hand once again. Trying to match every pull and push on his erection with the same movements of him riding on top of his lover, Ray was just about over the edge again.

Before he could, he sat back a bit, changing the angle in which Kai was positioned inside him and took the hand Kai was using against him. Slowly taking two of Kai's fingers into his mouth, biting and sucking, licking between them and rolling his tongue along the slim digits. All the while watching Kai's facial expressions, his mouth opening and closing sometimes biting his lip to keep his moans to a bare minimum. Ray was enjoying watching the way Kai reacted to his teasing, giving him payback for what he had done earlier to him as he stopped riding Kai and focused on the fingers in his mouth.

"Fuck, Ray!" Kai bit out, throwing his head back once more and forcing his fingers out of Ray's mouth and hold.

"That's what you get for teasing me." Ray smirked, leaning across Kai's body to kiss him.

With their lips locked once more Ray dug his hips down, rocking in slower movements against Kai as he too wanted to draw this out as long as possible. Slightly pulling their lips apart to breathe, Ray smirked and pulled back on Kai's erection and slammed himself back down.

"Say it again." He taunted, just like Kai had done to him.

Kai grunted something out, but it wasn't his name and he pouted while digging his hips back down with more force than before, having to bite his lip to keep himself from moaning out Kai's name. Still not receiving the words he wanted to hear, Ray bit down on Kai's neck and sucked the already bruising pale skin as he rocked his hips in circular movements. Once again Kai's only response was to grunt and groan, not saying a word.

Trying to think of a way to get Kai to say his name again, Ray pulled off of Kai completely and trailed his tongue along the pale skin of his lover's chest and stomach, nipping at different spots. Quickly he pulled the condom off and tossed it off the side of the bed, and then took Kai into his mouth. Immediately Kai's back arched again, and his mouth parted but nothing escaped his lips, Ray looked up and watched as he sucked and nipped at his lover's erection in his mouth.

Pulling away to lick at the tip and run his tongue along the slit slowly and roughly at the same time, Kai's body shook, and his hands found their way into Ray's hair and pulled back his bangs and any other loose strands that got in the way of watching himself getting sucked dry. Gold and crimson locked in a silent argument that was clouded by lust, driving his mouth down the rest of Kai's length before he gagged, Ray opened his throat wider and took every inch into his mouth.

"Ray!" Kai called out, his nails digging into Ray's scalp as his entire body shook and his jaw clenched the second the words passed his lips.

Slowly pulling his mouth away, lapping up the pre-cum that escaped Kai, Ray licked his lips and smiled proudly at his panting lover. Having been victorious on his mission, he pulled back thinking of what else there was he wanted done to him, and he rolled over onto his hands and knees.

Regaining his normal breathing pattern Kai chanced a look past him and smirked, seeing Ray's ass before him and he pushed himself off his back and positioned himself behind Ray. Moving the hair that had spilled down Ray's back, taking it in one hand while the other parted Ray's legs a bit further before sliding himself back in.

"Shit!" Ray hissed out, gripping the sheets under him as Kai penetrated him as far as he could go.

Without wasting any time to stop or fill his lungs back with air, Kai pulled out and slammed himself back inside of Ray, his pre-cum becoming the lubrication Ray needed to ease the bit of pain he was feeling. After a few more thrusts Ray's back side wasn't nearly on fire as it had been before, and he moaned out, his arms giving out on him as he laid his upper half into the mattress as Kai kept his lower half in the air against him.

The bed creaked and protested as Kai got lost in the moment, finishing off with as much force and speed he could conjure up. Their skin smacking and resonating amongst the moans and grunts that erupted past their lips, until they both were driven over the edge. Even though Ray wanted to fully collapse onto the bed Kai held his hips against him, not wanting to pull out just yet as he tried to still his erratic breathing. Ray's legs began to shake under him, and he whimpered a bit until Kai pulled out, a hiss escaping his lips as he released his grip on Ray's waist. Ray fell onto the bed completely, still unable to breathe properly as Kai rested his body down on top of his. Their sweat slicked bodies did nothing to cool the heat they were radiating, nor did it do anything to calm down the after effects of their orgasms.

Gently Kai took Ray's chin in his hand and tilted his head back, careful not to put a strain on the younger man's neck, kissing him quickly on the lips before letting him go. Ray smiled briefly back as they parted and laid his head back down in his arms he had pulled under himself, his breathing coming in more normally now as his racing heart slowed a bit more.

 **End Lemon**

He didn't move as he could feel Kai's body leave his, and groaned in protest but knew his legs wouldn't work so he didn't bother to try and follow Kai into the shower. Instead he closed his eyes, listening to the sounds of the shower turning on and picturing Kai's wet body under the spray. Just as he was about asleep a shrill cry came from the nursery snapping him out of his trance, and he groaned

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ June 12** **th** **\- Three Years Later**

Even if my nightmares weren't stopping, even if the tug to cross the line of killing someone wasn't going away I still persisted. I had made a silent vow to never cross that line, I would rather have been castrated than kill someone; innocent or not. Brooklyn did his thing, following his tug at least once or twice a month in order to keep his darkness in check. It was a bit unnerving to watch him come home with that same calm and happy expression after knowing what he had just done, but in the end, I honestly didn't care. I was just glad to have him back, I needed him and soon I found out that he needed me; what a fool I was.

Over the months and years that I had been living with him my feelings grew, it was no longer just because of our own demons, but that I truly wanted him. He had made good on his vow not to take me until I was eighteen, the waiting had been killing me with each stolen kiss or grope we would place on the other. I trained harder, as he made sure to run me ragged so when the time came we wouldn't hurt each other; that was the last thing we wanted to do.

Our first night together, where we had let our emotions explode was amazing. He was careful and slow with me, as I had never had sex before in my life, and I had no idea a man much older than me could handle me so delicately. It was like he was afraid of hurting me, but all I wanted was to feel him more and soon he listened to my pleas. It wasn't just once that night when I turned eighteen, it was several times and each time it was more passionate and hot. One time it became too hot, and we did end up burning each other and had to call it a night.

During the three years of training harder, mastering my powers better and keeping the other me in check. I visited my parents often, happy to see that their lives were going the way I had wanted it to. Kai's business was still flourishing, Ray was in college to become a chef and Kaira was growing so fast. As she got older she never saw me anymore, every now and then she would glance my way, but it was never like before where I thought she had actually seen me.

Like me, she was the perfect mix of our parents. Her skin tone was a mixture of our fathers, where mine reflected Kai's more, and she had both their eye color. As she got older, and her eyes became more defined you could tell she had gotten Kai's shape. Her hair was the same slate as Kai's in the front, with raven in the back in his two-tone fashion.

She learned to walk when she was one, a bit slower than I had been walking, but I was there to watch her take her first steps and my heart filled with such pride and joy as I watched her walk over to Kai. He had never looked prouder that day, and it only made me glad to see that they were all truly happy. I did feel a pain in me, not being there with them hurt every time I stopped by. Their memories were altered, but they still knew I existed, so I wasn't completely forgotten.

Sometimes dad would still cry at night, wishing I was home with them and Kai would console him and promise him that I'd come back soon enough. I wanted to, day and night I had to fight with myself not to go back. I couldn't, not yet, not with the tug still pulling me and more so than it ever had before because I still would not cross that line. Brooklyn never pressed the issue, he told me I still wasn't ready to kill anyone even though the other me scoffed at him. He believed I could, that we were ready, and his blood lust was only getting stronger.

Over the past three years I hardly left Brooklyn's world, I was too afraid to leave it for the real world and its problems. Fearing that if I did leave anything could happen, and so I forced myself to stay here and train. The powers I unlocked and could control were like out of a work of fiction, I could move things with my mind. My teleportation abilities were getting better where the clouds of smoke didn't even appear with me. It was always a rush to use some kind of power, but the more I relied on them the more I could feel myself slipping.

I didn't want to slip though, I had made such progress to avoid ever slipping, but it was only a matter of time. I allowed Brooklyn to take me with him as his tug commanded him on my birthday of all days, I was turning nineteen, and my tug was becoming uncontrollable. I thought I would be fine, with Brooklyn beside me, but I was wrong. The rush I felt, the warmness it caused within my body was too good to have passed up. It felt like I had been missing something all my life, and after getting just a taste of it I didn't want to ever NOT have it.

I don't know who the man was, nor what his crime was, to me it didn't matter though. Not when I took his life, not when I watched the light in his eyes die out as I allowed the other me to take over. There was so much blood, so much darkness and warmth; I was on fire. Even though the real me watched in the recess of my mind, I was cheering and congratulating myself for what I had done.

 **"We need another."** The other me said, blood dripping down my claws and smeared across my face and neck.

"One is enough for the night." Brooklyn responded, his eyes almost looked like mine as his pupils were slit into a finer point at the center of his eyes. He had fangs of his own, but they were smaller and sharper and only came out when he let his darkness take over.

 **"No! We need another one, now!"** The other me growled out to him as we took a threatening step towards him, though I knew we would never hurt him.

"No, we should go home now." He said calmly, his demonic persona leaving him as his face returned to normal.

"Besides." He stepped closer causing the other me to take a step back, and he froze as Brooklyn's hand cupped our cheek in a soothing manner, bringing me back into my body.

"I have other plans." He smiled to me and pressed his lips against mine.

When he pulled away all I could do was nod to him, a stupid grin plastered on my face as my vision returned to normal, my pupils dilating. He reached over and took my hands in his, a different warmth engulfed us, and he took us home. Leaving the man we had murdered behind his home, dismembered and unrecognizable.

Before he had a chance to pull his hands away, appearing in his room of his mansion, I pulled him back against me. I was now about as tall as him and my chin could rest on his shoulder if I wanted it to, but now all I wanted to do was kiss him. He didn't protest and pulled me just as close, our lips meeting and the spark and fire that always appeared did at the contact.

Purring and already pressing my hips into his I pushed him back against the wall that was behind him, he walked back into it just as I had silently commanded. Normally he was the dominate one in our 'relationship', sometimes that didn't bother me, but for tonight it was my turn.

 **Normal POV/Lemon Starts  
**

As Brooklyn's back rested against the wall Kain had pressed him into, his grip on the younger man tightened around his slim hips, making sure to pull and grind their growing erections together through their pants. Kain purred and pressed his tongue into Brooklyn's mouth who had happily parted his lips for his 'lover,' loving the way Kain took control over the situation. Knowing that his darkness hadn't been completely satiated and this was the best distraction he could offer the younger man, and he smirked as Kain's hands gripped his shirt roughly and tugged it off.

"We have all night." Brooklyn whispered into Kain's ear, having to bend down slightly to reach before taking his earlobe into his mouth.

"I need you now though." Kain moaned out, his hands and claws scratching across Brooklyn's torso as the fire seared from under his touch.

"You'll have me." Brooklyn whispered again, pulling Kain's hips back against his as they rubbed against each other again.

"Now!" Kain hissed out, his hands fumbling with Brooklyn's belt and then the button and zipper of his pants.

Taking that as his cue to turn the tides over, Brooklyn grabbed Kain's legs and picked him off his feet. Carrying him to the bed as he held his legs around his waist, making sure to kiss and nip at Kain's neck that he had tilted for him. Falling down on the bed, Brooklyn over Kain's body, he kicked off his pants and started to undress Kain. Kain's black tank top was the first to come off, over his head, revealing his toned pale skin, his nipple piercing almost glowing from the sweat that had formed on his chest.

Resting back on his elbows on the bed, Kain watched as Brooklyn eyed his body like a hungry predator until he leaned forward and licked the piercing. Kain's right hand came around and held the back of Brooklyn's head, his claws digging into the back of his head as his fingers tangled in the orange-red hair. Using his right arm for support beside him, Brooklyn's left hand traced down Kain's chest igniting the skin with his own fiery touches, leaving intricate burn marks on the pale flesh till he reached the hem of Kain's jeans.

Biting harshly onto Kain's nipple, Brooklyn drew a bit of blood and licked it up before teasing the ends of the bar that stuck through his nipple. Kain threw his head back in a drawn-out purr/ moan, his body tensing and flexing out under the touch and burns he was receiving, even though they didn't actually hurt him. Brooklyn's fingers traced around the hem of Kain's jeans, leaving a burn mark in his path until he could no longer hold back.

In a swift movement, having pulled his mouth away from Kain's chest, leaving him panting for air. He undid the button and zipper, pulling the pants and boxers down in one tug and tossing them off the bed. Leaving him fully exposed, even with the cold air in the room neither of them felt it and it did nothing to calm the burning they felt on their skin where the other had touched and left marks.

Kain hissed as Brooklyn took him into his mouth, sucking roughly as he let his teeth grate against his skin. Using one hand to draw more burn patterns on the inside of Kain's thigh, while the other slipped three fingers in his entrance without warning or preparation. Kain's body tensed and he let out a cry of pain, slowly loosing himself into the feeling as he fell on his back taking in sharp breathes of air.

The hunger for the other not yet satisfied, Brooklyn slipped in another finger as he took Kain all the way into his mouth. Forcing his throat to open more and grate his teeth, drawing blood, as he slowly pulled back against him. Another hiss passed Kain's lips before he bit down into his bottom lip, writhing under him until he exploded out.

Pulling away with his mouth still filled, Brooklyn lent back over Kain's body and pressed his lips against his, forcing him to take his own essence in his mouth as their tongues and saliva mixed with it. Kain purred again and pulled Brooklyn against him tighter, their chests rubbing and burning the other more until they had to pull apart.

Coating himself in a thick lather of lube, Brooklyn pulled Kain's back side towards him, having rolled the younger male onto his stomach and keeping his lower half in the air before pressing himself in fully. Kain's muscles clamped down tight, screaming Brooklyn's name as he became lost in the motions. One thrust followed with a second and third, until he lost count and gripped Kain's hips tighter, steam rising from the heat and leaving a full hand print on the pale skin.

Kain closed his eyes tightly, moaning and grunting with each hard thrust into him as he gripped the sheets below him. Brooklyn's own long and low moan passed his lips as he came, his seed spilling out of Kain and down the inside of his thighs as he let him fully fall onto the bed. Kain panted, trying to still his breathing as he rolled onto his back, being greeted with a sweet and passionate kiss on his lips.

 **End Lemon**

"Let me heal you now." Brooklyn whispered as he pulled away, sitting over Kain's body.

"No, leave them for now." Kain breathed out, grabbing Brooklyn's wrist in order to stop him.

Brooklyn only nodded as he laid himself down next to Kain's body, wrapping an arm across his chest and pulling him into an embrace as they both fell asleep. Kain purring contently against Brooklyn, the burning in his stomach on his skin fading until it was just a dull ache.

* * *

 **Okay, so that was a lot of sex, for those who don't like that sort of thing, why are you here to begin with? Those who have been rooting for Brooklyn and Kain to get together, you're welcome.  
**

 **Side note, I drew up Kaira a bit older for those who may want to check it out. Go to Deviantart and search Sketchesz.**

 **Hope this chapter makes up for all the missing lemons in the story thus far, right now this maybe the only one. I have the next chapter already written up, but I won't post it till maybe Tuesday since I just posted two in one day. Couldn't wait, sorry.**

 **Lemme know what you think, it's always appreciated.**

 **See ya'll Tuesday.**


	13. Ricochet

**Song is by Starset.**

 **I think it really works with this chapter about how Kain feels about Brooklyn and his new situation.**

 **I know I said I was gonna post this Tuesday, but I'm a bit stuck now for the next chapter... So here you go. Enjoy.**

 **Let me know what you think.**

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ July 3** **rd**

"Get rid of it." Brooklyn said, looking over my shoulder at the test I left sitting on the counter of the bathroom.

"What?!" I whirled around on him, eyes wide.

I had never thought he would suggest that, not in a million years would I have thought him to think like that. The other me agreed with him, but I pushed past his words and narrowed my eyes at Brooklyn as he looked back. His own eyes narrowing at me, his brows creasing in anger and disappointment.

"No." I said sternly, and he frowned.

"Get rid of it Kain, it has no place being with us here." He scorned, and for a minute I almost agreed with him.

What kind of life would this child have, with parents like us most of all? What could we offer besides running and hiding away in our own little world? Nothing, we could offer it nothing that it would deserve, would we even be able to love it? One would think, it being conceived was due to our love for each other, but that was hardly the case. Our 'relationship' wasn't based on love, it was based on hunger and desire. I learned that the hard and quick way, sure he was kind and gentle when the time called for it, but there were never words of love and devotion, but I loved him. At first it started out because of our darkness, just to use the other in order to escape it, but I fell in love.

"No." I said sternly again, and he frowned harder and a darkness crossed his features.

"Don't expect me to help you then." With that he turned on his heel and left me in the bathroom of our room.

Even if we weren't an actual couple, we shared his room together, the bed, the bath, the sink. Anything and everything became ours, if people were on the outside looking in we did look like a normal couple, but that was hardly the case. I watched him leave, and soon his breathing and scent no longer lingered in the air as he vanished from his world to the real one.

As the realization came down on me I backed into the counter, using it for support to steady my legs. I didn't cry, and no tears were threatening to spill as I just stood there. I wanted to run back home to my fathers, my dad would be able to help me, but I still didn't know how I would be around Kai. It had been so long since I had seen them in person, three years had passed by us so quickly. I missed them, I needed them but the other me needed Brooklyn.

It hadn't even been a month since I had my first real thrill of killing someone, and even though that one tug had been satisfied, there were thousands more standing in line. With a child, how would I be able to handle it all? I understood where Brooklyn was coming from, we didn't need this on our shoulders, but I couldn't think of actually doing it. At one point, a long time ago, my own dad could have made that decision and I wouldn't be here. Our situations were much different, but he had his own kind of problems and he made it through fine, for the most part.

Calming my nerves, I closed my eyes, a calming warmth taking over my senses as I willed myself away from Brooklyn's world. Normally I wouldn't leave without him, unable to get back in it without him, but at that moment I didn't care. Nor did I care that Kai almost walked into the wall when I appeared in front of him, he was quick to avoid hitting his head and his eyes grew wide as he looked at me.

"Hey." I managed to say with a slight wave.

"K… Kain?!" He sputtered out, blinking a few times.

"Yeah… Hey dad." I rubbed the back of my head a bit, giving him a sheepish smile.

"How… What… I don't understand." He frowned, tripping over his words as he just stared at me.

When I had clashed with Kai three years ago, Brooklyn erased my parent's memories of ever being here. So, in return they don't know I have these powers, but I'm not about to explain it all over again since the first time was such a mouthful to begin with.

"Where's dad?" I ask a bit shyly, willing my voice not to crack.

Kai blinks at me a few times again, before pointing to the door behind him. I should have known, I can smell dad all over Kai and it's not even three in the afternoon yet.

I don't say anything as I walk past him down the hall, he watches me go for a second before deciding to follow me back to his room. I open the door but keep my eyes closed, I don't need to embarrass myself or my dad more than necessary.

"KAIN!?" Dad yells out to me, and I simply nod to him and can hear him running around the room getting dressed.

"You decent yet?" I half joked.

"Yeah." He mumbled out, so I open my eyes, he's facing me sitting on the side of their bed looking at me wide-eyed.

"Hi dad…" I choke out, the tears coming out before I can stop them.

In a millisecond he jumps from the bed and takes me in a strong embrace, though when I caught a glimpse of his face all he had was worry and concern in his eyes. He's so much shorter than I am, and I have to bend down a bit to rest my head on his shoulder, he smells the same and it brings a slight smile to my lips.

"Shhh, it's alright baby." He coos rubbing my back, though his hands are slightly trembling.

I don't have to say anything to him because I know he can sense it, he knows why I'm here even if he doesn't know who the father is. I debate on whether to tell him or not, but for the moment I just want him to hold me. Kai steps around us cautiously until he sits on the side of the bed where dad was, I chance a look up at him and our eyes meet. There's no flare or burning in my stomach and I can only take that as a good sign, we won't clash again since Brooklyn took most of his darkness away.

I shift a bit uncomfortably in dad's hold and he pulls back slowly, his large golden eyes dancing over me, taking in everything he can before letting out a long drawn out sigh.

"I've missed you so much, you've grown up… Where have you been, I've been worried sick."

"I've missed you too dad… It's a long story, but just know I've been fine and well taken care of since I left. I didn't mean to scare you, I just needed to get away." I answer, and shrug my shoulders a bit.

With the false memories Brooklyn had placed in their heads, I had come back around in spirit form when Kai explained a dream he had to dad. The dream wasn't really a dream, as I had been here three years ago around Christmas time. Kai was able to convince dad that I was doing fine, for the most part it helped him relax even though he would break down every now and then. Eventually dad came to accept Kai's 'dream' and after a year he was no longer a nervous wreck at me being gone, instead he would walk around and talk about me to my sister and laugh about how we are very opposite of each other when I was her age.

"I can see that." He jokes, but there's a bit of disappointment in his tone. As I can see past him at Kai, he just raises an eyebrow at dad's weird choice of words.

"Yeah… I wanted to talk to you about it…" I sigh out and hang my head a bit, he just simply nods before turning to Kai.

"Give us a minute hun." He says sweetly, all Kai can do is nod to dad before standing and leaving us in their room with the door closing behind him. "Sit." Dad tugs on my arm, leading me to the bed where we sit on the side of it.

A silence passes over us for a moment, my fingers start to fiddle in my lap until dad places a hand over my arm and I glance up at him.

"I was nervous too, it's alright to feel that way." He speaks with a calm air about him, but his eyes are still filled with worry.

"But you didn't have the father telling you to get rid of it." I bite back a bit angrily, but it wasn't directed at him and he knows that.

"You're right, I didn't because he didn't know." He shakes his head a bit, his bangs swaying over his face a bit.

"Right…" I bite my lip, feeling a bit ashamed at myself for slightly forgetting that.

"Why weren't you more careful?" He asks, done shaking his head as he places a hand on my knee.

"Lost in the moment… Sorry…" I mumble out, unable to meet his gaze anymore.

"What do _you_ want to do about it?" He asks me, and I shrug.

I still don't really know what I want right now, aside from curling up to him and crying my eyes out. There's not much I want to do, I know I can't go through with what Brooklyn wants me to do. Whether I keep it or not, it won't break the type of relationship we have, nor will it bring us closer by any means. Staying out here will cause me too many problems as it is, and I'm already regretting coming here since I have no way back to his world.

"Stay here for a little while, think it over. Maybe try and talk to the father a bit more… If you know who he is…" He adds after a short pause and I smirk at him, of course he would say that.

"I know who he is."

"Well that's a good start, should we tell your father or no?" He asks, and his voice wavers a bit.

"I don't know." I shake my head a bit, I'm kind of afraid of what Kai will say or do if he knows. "Your choice." I say a bit too quietly.

"No, this is about you. You make the decision to tell him or not, but as I said, stay here for a little bit. I'm here if you need me, okay?" He pats my knee a bit before standing and I offer him a small smile.

"Thanks dad."

"Of course Kain." He smiles at me again before stepping out of the room, closing the door behind him.

I feel more alone than I ever have in that moment, not realizing it all before since I had Brooklyn there with me. Now, since he was gone, and I was back home I felt more out of place. I shouldn't be here, I don't really want to be here but what other choice did I have? I could talk to Brooklyn again, try to get him to understand me but I don't know how well that will work out. I could stay here, but I know my darkness will only pull me to want to do terrible things to the people I love.

I didn't even realize that I had fallen asleep on my parent's bed, being woken up by a poke to the side I opened my eyes to meet two different colored ones staring wide eyed back at me. Kaira was staring at me with a blank expression, the door having been opened probably in search of our parents. I could hear them in the kitchen talking, so maybe she actually came in here to find me.

"Hello." I smile to her and sit up, she's never met me before, but she smiles back as if she knows who I am.

"Bubba." She points at me and I nod to her, her smile widens, and her eyes brighten.

"Yes, I'm your bubba." I hold my arms out and she holds her up, so I can pull her onto my lap, she's not very heavy but not weightless either.

Her slate bangs are held back by a head band, while dad probably braided the raven at the back where it rests just under her shoulder blades. Getting our dad's genes in hair growth, since she's only three.

"Where's daddy?" I ask a bit sweetly, and she grunts. It was then I noticed her ears weren't pointed like mine, and that meant her hearing wasn't heightened like mine was; lucky girl.

With that knowledge I stand, placing her on my hip to take her to where our fathers were in the kitchen. She wasn't looking for me then, she just happened to find me, but I was glad all the same. She holds onto my shirt as I carry her with me, making sure to keep a tight hold on her incase she decides to wiggle or move, and I don't need to drop her on her head.

"Hey, look who I found." I smile to my dads as they're sitting at the kitchen table, still in their proclaimed spots.

"She must have crawled out of her crib again, I'm sorry Kain I was trying to let you sleep." Dad sighs out going to stand but I hold a hand up and he sits back down, so I take my spot next to Kai on his left.

For the most part I feel a bit safe being close to him, there's no hidden desire to try and attack him and it feels like it had been before I was ever given Black Dranzer.

"She's cute." I smile to dad and nuzzle my face into Kaira's two-toned haired, getting a giggle in response. "She can't hear like we can, can she?" I ask, though I already know the answer.

"No, not all that well." Dad shakes his head a bit and he looks a bit disappointed at that.

"She'll be thankful for that when she gets older." I smirk, and I can see Kai's face tinge pink for a second, and dad only has a sloppy smirk on his face.

There's a silence that passes over us, Kai occasionally sipping his coffee as Kaira has fallen asleep in my hold. Dad's eyes haven't left me, still looking me over with the faintest smile on his lips.

"What does she call you guys?" I ask, shifting her a bit so her head can rest on my neck.

"Papa and dad. That is when she doesn't just grunt at us." Dad points to himself first then to Kai, it might take a while for me to get used to that, but I'll make it a point to try now. Kai, dad, clears his throat and our attention turns to him.

"Grunts?" I raise an eyebrow at them, remembering that she did grunt at me a bit ago.

"Yeah, habit from your father over there." Papa chuckles nodding his head towards Kai, dad.

"I do not grunt." He says rather coldly, sipping his coffee once more.

"Sure you don't." Both papa and I say, smiling where our fangs stick out. His response? Was a grunt before he sat his coffee back down and looked at me pointedly, I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Why are you here son?"

"You didn't tell him?" I look over at papa, and he shakes his head.

"No, I told you that was for you to do. Let me take Kaira from you first though." He stands and before I can protest he's taken her from my arms, setting back down in his chair across from me as he lets Kaira rest against his chest.

"Tell me what?" Dad looks between me and papa now, eyes slightly wide with a questioning look in them.

"Well…. Um… You're going to be grandparents…" I slightly shrug a bit, trying not to look him in the eyes.

"Excuse me?!" Kai bellows out and I flinch in my seat, my head hanging lower.

"Kai." Papa warns sternly, and I can hear and feel Kai shift in his chair a bit uncomfortably for a second.

"Who?... You?" I chance a look at him, his eyebrow is raised, and I simply nod. He runs a hand down his face and sighs out into the palm of his hand, and I tense a bit in my seat even though I don't think he's going to hit me.

"I'm sorry…" I whisper out, but I know he could hear me.

"What are you going to do, who's the father and where is he?" He asks too quickly, and it takes me a minute to register what he's asking.

"I don't know yet… The father… He's not in the picture right now…"

"He should be, it's his damn responsibility!" Dad bellows out again and he slams a fist on the top of the table.

"Kai!" Papa barks out, having to shift Kaira in his arms as she whimpered out.

"Sorry…" He sends papa an apologetic look and then turns back to me. "I'm serious though, where is he?"

"I don't know, he… He vanished when I showed him the test." I whisper again and feel like vanishing myself at this point.

"What's his name, I can have Tala track him down." I didn't realize my dad was so hard pressed, or 'old school' in this kind of thing.

"I'd be really surprised if you could, it's not worth it though. He doesn't want it." I say rather meekly.

"I don't give a shit if he doesn't want it, it's still his responsibility along with yours." Then why are you butting in so much? I don't ask him that though, so I simply nod again.

"Your father's right Kain, it'd be better if you can get a hold of him and talk this out. Whether he wants anything to do with it right now, isn't that all important. If you want to keep it, he needs to know." Papa pipes in now and I can see through his worrisome expression that he is just as serious as dad is.

"I'll try." I offer with a shrug, but I don't think they bought it.

"Listen." Dad orders and I look up at him, his crimson eyes are burning with anger but not because of me.

"Yeah?" I stutter out, my nerves fixing to break on me.

"We're here for you, if anything, you're our son and you come first and foremost. You've been gone for three years, we don't want to see you run off and be a single parent on your own. You're always welcome here, you know that. But, if he shows up on my doorstep, without my knowledge, I will kill him." I nod again, his eyes tell me he's not lying, and I swallow hard at the prospect of him and Brooklyn clashing.

Maybe before Brooklyn took dad's powers he would have stood a chance, now though, I don't want to think of the outcome. Papa lets out a sigh and my attention turns back to him quickly, Kaira still peacefully asleep in his embrace.

"Your father's right Kain, even I will kill the poor sob if he shows up. So, if you do manage to get a hold of him let us know first. Alright?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"How far along are you?" Papa asks.

"Just barely four weeks, I took the test yesterday before I cam here. Must have happened on my birthday." I know it did, it happened during one of our most heated sessions, having just killed a man and then letting our darkness drive us to his bed.

"Alright, you need to stop smoking. It's not good for the baby." He says sternly, and I nod, that'll be hard to do but he's right. "And no smoking around him either." He turns to dad who feigns a surprised look.

"I haven't had one in four months." He protests, and I raise an eyebrow at that, never would I have thought he'd stop smoking. It was a favorite past time we had when I was here, even more so when I wasn't here, he must have gone through three packs a day since I had run off.

"Thanks dads…" I smile to them, though it's a really weak smile.

For now I'll stay with them, since I have nowhere else to go. Right now the other me is being locked away, if I ignore him he won't try to take over for now. He knows my wish to keep my child safe is stronger than the tugs he'll try to lead me to, and he hasn't shown his face to me in quite some time. Over the course of the two months that I've been back home, I don't feel as lonely as I did when I first arrived, even though I do miss Brooklyn a lot more than I thought I would. I had told myself that I didn't love him, but that was a lie. I did love him, I just never told him because he made it clear he never felt the same. That was apparent, and I was stupid to think we could have been more, it hurts to think that now since I'm carrying his children.

Finding out that I was having twins was more unnerving than anything I had ever faced before, if it wasn't for my fathers being there with me I might have let the other me take over and that wouldn't have been a pretty sight for anyone, nor would have it been easy to explain to them where my power came from. During these two months being with them, I haven't so much as teleported to another room let alone move anything with my mind; somethings I really enjoyed doing when I lived with Brooklyn.

I missed him, day and night I craved his touch on my skin, for him to burn me and then heal those same burns. I wanted to burn him and then heal him in the same way, but I knew he would never come back for me. I had everything here with my dads but the one thing I really wanted, him. He haunted my dreams every night, doing nothing to satisfy my thirst for him. Keeping my darkness intact as I thought about him was becoming harder than I had anticipated, the fears and hate of the people around me were seeping into me again so I rarely stepped outside the house.

That didn't stop my fathers from going out though, and I couldn't blame them. Having a pregnant hormonal teenager wasn't easy to be around, and I rather enjoyed the quiet of the house when they would go out, always taking Kaira with them even though I offered to watch her. I would need the practice, but it didn't matter to them, they didn't want to burden me or put me under more stress as it was.

Once again, they were out, leaving me to wander the mansion by myself. August was rolling around to a close, in a few weeks I would find out the sex of my children and it was slightly exciting. Somehow, I found myself in the second-floor study, watching the front yard waiting for my parents return when the lights in the room grew brighter.

An all too familiar warmth enveloped me, and I didn't bother to look at him as he stepped up beside me. He smelt the same, his breathing pattern was the same and I sucked in more air just to take in his scent because I had missed it so much.

"My dad's will kill you if they see you here." I tell him without looking at him, he slightly chuckles at me because we both know that's impossible.

"That's slightly adorable." He chuckles and shifts to face me, but I still don't want to look at him.

"Why are you here?" I bite out, and my arms start to tremble.

"I wanted to see how you were doing, personally. I've been watching you, and you seem to be doing alright but I can tell you're not."

"Oh, you think?" I turn to him, cocking an eyebrow at him. "I wonder why." I motion towards my growing stomach, but he doesn't bother to look at it.

"I told you, I wasn't going to be here for you if you decided to keep it."

"Them." I correct and for a second his eyes go wide. "There's two in there, twins."

"I see…" He trails off and glances out the window for a second before turning back to me. "So, how are you then?"

"Why should you care?" I bite back with a snarl, baring my fangs.

"Because I do."

"No, you don't. What's this about, really?" I clench my fists, and he takes in a breath.

"I've been thinking… That maybe I should do to you what I did to Kai, and take some of your power. You don't want to hurt your children or family, do you?"

I go quiet for a moment, unsure what to say. The thought had never crossed my mind before, it would be smart of me to allow him to take some of it from me, but I don't know how my body would react to that.

"They're your children too, incase you forgot." I bite back, for some reason that was the only thing that I could think of to say right now.

"I didn't forget, I just don't wish to acknowledge it." He shakes his head a bit.

"Why… Why did you do this to me?" I lower my voice, speaking barely above a whisper.

"Do what?" He tilts his head to the side, once again I can't read him. He's constantly changing emotions on me, ever still the enigma I could never understand.

"This! Why did you take me to your bed if you didn't care for me, why did you just want to use me?"

"It was another tug of mine, I will always be driven by my tugs. I didn't want to hurt you as I thought you were just following your own, I didn't realize that you actually felt anything for me and I apologize for that." His words leave me a bit speechless for a moment, I don't know what to say to that and an uncomfortable silence passes over us.

"So… You don't care for me, in anyway shape or form?" I cross my arms over my chest, having regained my speaking capabilities.

"I do, I care about your well being. I care for you as a person and don't want to see you get hurt, but do I love you? No, I don't love anyone but myself."

"Then do it, take my powers and alter my memories so I never have to think of you again!" I growl out taking a threatening step towards him, and the lock I've had on the other me snaps open.

I can feel it, the all too familiar burning within me as I get angry and it burns with an intensity I've never felt before. My darkness being locked away for so long has only made it manifest and grow. For a moment I'm afraid of what it could do to me, him, my children that are growing inside me. I push past those fears as anger swells up inside me again, I want to hit him and yell at him, but I don't. I just stand there seething in my anger, my pupils slit, and my vision constricts from the action and at first it hurts but the pain slowly dies away.

His eyes grow wide and then they narrow, accepting my challenge for a fight. I should be scared, but the other me is already taking control and I can't/ don't want to stop it. I want to forget him, I want him to pay for what he's done to me. For making me feel the way I have for him since we met, only to dangle my feelings back in my face. Looking at him only fuels the fire more, and before I know it we're locked in a heated battle.


	14. Fighting Shadows

**Fighting Shadows belongs to Jane Zhang. I used some of the lyrics in the dialogue, mainly because it just kind of it.**

 **Thank you all to my readers, near and far. Thank you to my reviewers, and everyone's support here.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ August 28** **th**

"Don't come any closer to me, I guarantee you that's not what you want." Those were his last words to me, before my fist met his jaw.

No more running, I can't run from this anymore. I've tried, day in and day out to avoid this. It's too late now, I'm too far gone, and no one can bring me back. Every blow I can land on him, fuels the fire within me more. My strength and power has grown because it's been locked away for so long, the other me has full control and I'm afraid I won't ever be able to take control once this is over.

"I'm sure you thought that I would just lay down, but you were wrong!" The other me snarls, but it's not just the other me as it's me too that says this.

I punched him away from me with my fist and my power, it shot him back against the wall by the archway of the second-floor study we were in. The explosion of our powers clashing has caused the large window to shatter, there's glass everywhere on the floor and outside but I don't care if it's cutting into my bare feet. I hardly feel it, all I feel is burning and anger.

"Give me all you got, don't hold nothin' back. I promise you you're gonna need it" He sneers, and for a second my heart stops because he has that same dark look he always had when he'd come back from a kill.

He straightens himself against the wall, his black and white smog envelopes him and his teal eyes get darker and he bares his fangs at me. His power comes hurling towards me and my first instinct is to cover my stomach, with my arms and with my own shield of power. His hits my shield and I will my legs not to buckle under the force, pushing back against it till it shoots up into the ceiling where it splits open. Debris falls around us, leaving a slight cloud of smoke and dust. The lights in the study go out, but it's still partially daylight out and the setting sun is lighting the room. Even if it wasn't I'd still be able to see him, or he'd just cause a light to illuminate the study, so he can see me.

"I know how this ends, have been there and it doesn't look good for you." He sneers, stepping closer to me and I shoot parts of my shield at him.

As he walks towards me, slowly, he moves his right arm to send my power away from him and it crashes into the wall behind him. Once this is over, I don't think the house will still be standing.

"I'm not afraid to die." I sneer back, baring my fangs at him as he stops in the center of the study. He stands there for a minute, around the broken furniture and the house shakes and his wings spurt from his back.

 _"Protect my children, that's all I care for right now."_

 **"Got it."**

Once his wings have settled around him, he yells out at me and his power comes out from under his feet in a swirl of black and white smog. It's causing a whirlwind around us; my bangs are getting in my eyes, but I don't bother to fix them. Once the whirlwind of his power reaches around him completely it spirals out towards me, I want to dodge but my feet become glued to the floor and I can't move. My arms go around my stomach again and I will my power to shield my entire body this time, it takes a lot out of me and once his power hits me it weakens the shield and myself. My feet slightly slide out from under me, but I don't fall down completely.

His power grows in strength while mine is starting to be sucked away from me, and I don't know how to stop it from happening. I wanted him to take it, I was ready to give him part of it just so I would forget him, but as I'm feeling it slip I realize I don't want that. I want my power, it's mine and he can't have it.

I force myself to straighten up, this time I take his power into mine and it causes my shield to grow around me. His eyes go wide for a moment in shock, and I'm pretty shocked myself since he never taught me that. I do something that he has taught me, focusing on the broken bookshelf across the room to my right and I send it towards him; oh, how I've missed using my telekinesis. He sees this coming though, and his wings fold around him and what's left of the broken bookshelf shatters into shards of wood against them.

His wings unfold around him and they spread out from his back, his face scrunches and his eyes flash for a second before another push of his power is shot out at me. It knocks through my barrier and sends me into the wall behind me, my head hit first and then my back all the while my hands have been over my stomach. My body slides down the wall till I'm sitting on the floor on my knees, I can feel a pain in my stomach and I want to scream because I'm terrified something maybe happening to my children, but I don't stop the fighting because this is a fight to the death.

My vision is coming in and out in haze of colors and white lights, I want to stand but my legs are too weak and there's something wet sliding down the inside of my legs. My heart stops and I shove the other me out of my way, coming back into my body and mind fully.

"STOP!" I shout out, just as Brooklyn's power was fixing to spurt out at me for the kill.

He does as I say, but it only dies down a bit as it still absorbs his arm. It dances like flames on his skin, like it's a being of its own kind. There's a silence that looms around us, my body is starting to tremble as the pain in my stomach intensifies. My heart stops and the other me is trying to get back in control, but I fight him back and place him under chains to where he can't come back out. I need this to stop now, no matter how much I had craved for Brooklyn's power I can't lose my children.

"Enough, just enough for now. My babies… Somethings wrong…" I cry out, and his face softens slightly. I don't expect him to care, he wanted them gone anyways.

"Kain…" He breathes out a bit, and I try to stand when another warmness enters the room.

Brooklyn spins on his heels and my head shoots up, after having to drop it from another pain that shoots through me. Another darkness, one of Hell-fire shoots out through the archway, leaving no space between it and the frame, as it hurls towards Brooklyn. I don't think he saw it coming in time, because it hits him, and he flies out the window that had shattered during our battle.

The Hell-fire power follows him out of the window, the room losing its warmth and heat it created. My eyes go wide when I see dad standing in the hall just outside the archway of the study, he's panting hard and already sweating. He looks ready to collapse, but he doesn't as he runs over to me. At first, I back away on instinct, I can feel his darkness again and I'm afraid I'll be his next victim. He doesn't do anything but reach out and holds my right shoulder, his crimson eyes meet mine quickly before looking me over and by now I'm trembling.

"Dad…" I manage to say through a shaky breath, tears are rolling down my face.

"Can you stand?" He asks, his voice is also shaky, and I can see him swallow hard.

"No…" I tell him, shaking my head a bit.

"Give me a second." He says quickly and stands, running out of the study.

I'm left there by myself for a minute or two till he comes back with papa, Kaira isn't with either of them and I can't sense her in the house. They both run back over to me, papa's eyes wide at me and he looks just as scared as I am. He doesn't say anything to me as he gets down beside me, grabbing my left arm and pulling it around his neck. Dad comes back to my right to do the same when Brooklyn's warmth fills the room again and he comes through the window. Like before his power is circling around him, his eyes land on dad and I can feel Kai stiffen beside me.

"You two get out of here." He orders, stepping around papa and me and blocking us from Brooklyn, who is just hovering above the floor held up by his power.

"He'll kill you!" I scream out, wanting to reach out and grab him but my arms are too weak to move.

"Go, now!" He orders again, and before I can protest papa starts to walk us out.

Dad's going to die, he doesn't have all his powers and Brooklyn is so much stronger from having taken his. I want to stay, but as the blood flow between my legs thickens all I can do is follow papa out. Silently praying that dad will make it, that my babies will make it. Papa doesn't say anything to me as he carries my weight against his down the stairs, coming down them the house shakes and if it wasn't for his neko-jin blood we would have stumbled. He kept his grip around me, ignoring the house shaking and pulled me down to the first floor.

Downstairs looks unharmed during my battle, and I was slightly thankful for that. The front door swings open quickly and Tala steps in, his eyes wide with question because he has no clue what's going on. I find it a bit odd at first that my fathers were out with him, but remember that they don't remember dad ever sleeping with Tala. It's only natural I suppose that they would all still be friends, for once I'm thankful to Brooklyn for doing something right.

"What the fuck is going on?" He asks as he comes to my other side, I want to tense up against him because I haven't forgotten but let him take me in his hold anyways.

He's taller than papa is and stronger, so he takes most of my weight from papa so we don't hurt each other. Papa doesn't say anything yet as they pull me out the front door, the house shakes again and above us from where the second-floor study sits a Hell-fire darkness shoots out the window into the air.

"Just keep going Tala." Papa commands, as Tala had paused to watch the power shoot out.

"Right." He mutters, shifting his hold on my waist and takes me to the running car in the driveway.

The doors open, Bryan is in the driver's seat and Kaira is in her carrier in the center of the back seat. Papa and Tala shift me until they can put me down beside her, Tala jumping in the passenger seat. I glance up at my father, he's stalling by my door as his hands grip tight to the frame.

"Dad?" I manage to ask, and he looks at me for a second.

"Take him to the hospital. We'll be right behind you." With that he slams the door before I can stop him, leaving me shouting at him as he's running back to the house.

Bryan does what he's ordered and pulls the car away quickly down the drive way and through the gates, I can hardly shift around to watch out the back window and as I do all I see is papa's hair wrap flicking behind him through the open front door.

* * *

 **Kai's POV**

I don't know what the hell is going on, but I don't have time to ask questions right now. Coming home and seeing the window shattered, the holes through the roof and walls made no sense to me. The second I had pulled in my drive way I jumped out, leaving the others in the car. When I had ran closer to the house I could feel something within me, it was warm and taunting and it broke the second I made it on the second floor. The house trembled under my feet, and before I knew it I was standing in the hall staring in the study.

Kain was on the floor, bleeding and barely alive. Brooklyn, of all people, was there in the center of the study with a smog of darkness around him. All kinds of questions danced on my tongue, but before I could say anything I felt an anger swell up within me as I saw Brooklyn go on the attack.

I felt that same warmness snap forth in me, something shot out of my body and it took all my strength to keep standing once it passed through me. It burned, but it didn't hurt, if anything it felt comforting. The power that shot out of me hit Brooklyn and sent him through the shattered window, when I regained my strength I went to my son.

Sending him away with Ray was the best choice I could think of, I knew that look in Brooklyn's eyes. I had seen it when I battled him all those years ago, it was a fight to the death back then and this time wasn't any different. I'm better with a gun, but part of me didn't reach for it or really think about using it. Instead, without really thinking about it, another spurt of power from within me shot out at him.

He was there, just hovering over the floor where he had come back through the window. His own power came out and it collided with mine, shaking the house as the two colors of power mixed. It caused the air in the room to still for a second, before he came at me. His power was wrapped around the arm he threw at me, and my own power somehow came around my arm when I blocked his. The house shook again when we hit, and I pushed against him as he was still hovering in the air.

Pushing him back from me caused him to back away, his wings trying to flap back to stop him from falling on the ground below him. Just as he steadies himself my body goes out to attack again, I'd say it was instinct driving me but I don't think that's what it was. It was something else within me, it felt familiar but I don't know what it was. It felt like it belonged with me, and I could feel it wanting to take over but I pushed back against it, whatever it was. My power came back out from my entire body, hitting him as I lunged at him where I brought him down on the ground under me.

He tried to block my fists with his arms, but he was slower in his reactions than my own movements. Every blow I landed on him caused the burning in me to rise up, I could see my body becoming ingulfed in the Hell-fire smog as his black and white one came out to try and attack me, it just bounced off against my own like flies hitting a window. I didn't stop, I wanted him dead for attacking my son, my _pregnant_ son. Why he was attacking him was still something I was questioning, but I didn't dare ask right now.

Another blow was coming down at his bloodied and bruised face when his hand caught it, something in his eyes flashed and a hot paint shot through my head from one side and out the other. It caused me to falter and his power pushed against mine and sent me across the room into the already broken-down couch against the wall to my left.

"Kai!" Ray yells out, and I strain to look at him but it caused the pain in my head to flare up and I flinch from it.

He rushes over to me and when his hand touches my shoulder, somehow, he's able to reach past the Hell-fire power that's still around me, another pain shoots through me and he makes a noise of some sort. In my head, in my vision, I see something almost like watching a movie. Kain is there, in my mind, and he was here three years ago around Christmas with Brooklyn. Kain and I fought, our darkness's clashing and that's why he left again. Something pieces together in my head and I realize that the dream I had wasn't a dream but a memory. Another clip of this 'movie' comes into focus and its Tala. I slept with him, many times, while Ray was held up in bed due to his pregnancy and stress of Kain missing. It's like the 'movie' is on rewind, and more memories I didn't know I had come through until they stop when Kain first left us.

Ray's hand on my shoulder had tightened as I witnessed these things, I wonder if he saw the same things I did. If so, then now he'll remember I wasn't faithful to him. I would be concerned about it right now, but Brooklyn stands and my attention turns to him as the pain in my head had died away with the last memory.

With these memories back, I understand why Brooklyn and Kain were fighting, my stomach drops because I realize that Brooklyn is the father of Kain's children. Did he come here to do the job himself, Kain wanted to keep the children. Since neither of us are moving, I go to speak the questions that are now fighting to get out.

"Why are you here?!" I yell out, standing and Ray follows my lead but his body sways a bit and he holds onto the side of his head.

"Isn't it obvious why, now that you have your memories back?" He asks, and Ray glances at him but doesn't say anything.

His pupils are slit and he bares his fangs, he must have gotten his memories back to and he's down right pissed at Brooklyn. Which is a good thing, we don't need to get into a spat over my unfaithfulness right this second.

"He made the choice to keep them, you have no right to try and change that!" I yell out, my blood is boiling.

"I wasn't intending to overstep his choice, he came at me." He says calmly, and the warmness in the air is slowly dying away.

I mull over his words for a moment, trying to think of what else to say at this point. Ray stiffens beside me, and he's no longer touching my shoulder.

"Then why did you come?" Ray snarls out, taking a threatening step towards Brooklyn who is unfazed by it.

"I wanted to see him, I offered to take his powers so he could live a more comfortable life. Seems he didn't like that idea, and he attacked me. I barely took half of his power, before you showed up. What that will do to him, I am unsure of right now." He shrugs at us.

"Get out… Get out I don't want you ever around my son again! Do you hear me! I trusted you to take care of him!" Ray yells and goes to step again, my arm comes out and holds him back by his shoulder.

"I am sorry for breaking the trust you had in me, it was not my intention." Brooklyn says, but I don't think he actually means a damn thing he's saying.

"Just go!" Ray yells again, and Brooklyn vanishes into thin air, something I remember Kain can do as well.

We go silent in the broken-down study, Ray's body is slightly trembling under my hold but he's not facing me right now. I don't know what to say to him, and my muscles relax as the burning that was in my stomach dies down since there is no longer a threat around us.

"We have to get to the hospital now, make sure Kain and the babies are alright." I breathe out, afraid that if I speak normally I'll be met with Ray's fist and claws at this point.

He doesn't say anything, just nods his head and pulls himself from under my hand. I follow him quietly out the archway of the study, I don't give a damn about the state my house is in, all I care about is making sure my family is safe. The ride to the hospital was quiet, but there wasn't a tension around us. He didn't look at me as I drove, just staring out the windshield at the road.

When we reach the parking lot of the hospital I spot my other car, the one Bryan took with the others to get here, and I park beside it. We step out and both pause on the sides of the car, now he's looking at me and I want to look away in shame but don't. I don't think Tala's memories were altered, but he knew better than to bring anything up to anyone about what we had done. It might be a surprise to him, when Ray decides to let him know that he knows, since we've been going around like nothing ever happened.

"Ray?" I speak up, I'm nervous and I deserve to be. Last time he threatened to leave, if it wasn't for Kain coming back three years ago he would have.

"Not now." He huffs out, slamming the car door and comes around the back of it, meeting him there before we both turn to walk into the hospital.

I want to hold his hand, but I don't try to. I can tell his body is tense beside me, and his pupils haven't dilated yet so I know he's still angry. Now a tension forms around us as we step through the doors, he makes it to the receptionist before I do so I stand behind him.

"My son was brought in here a bit ago, bleeding between the legs because he might be having a miscarriage. Kain Hiwatari." He tells the woman and I can sense the anger in his tone, my stomach drops at the prospect of Kain losing the twins.

"Just a second sir, I'll look him up." She smiles at him, though it's an awfully weak and nervous one.

She clicks on her keyboard a few times before looking up at Ray, her nervous smile falls and she looks a bit upset.

"They just moved him into the OR. Fifth floor on the south wing, take the corridor to your right till you reach the elevators, it'll take you right up there." If her words caused Ray to panic, he didn't show it. He just nods to her and follows her commands, walking behind him I can see he's still tense and so am I. We step into the elevator and his thumb smashes into the button for the fifth floor, he steps back and finally his muscles relax as his shoulders slump forward.

The ride up is still quiet, until the elevator pings and the doors open.

"You might want to grab me now." He breathes, but before my brain can register his words he's already storming out of the elevator into the hall.

I rush after him, but he takes off in a run and he's faster than I am. He can hear where Tala is and goes right for him, I'm too late to stop him and I come around the corner just in time to see Ray's fist connect with Tala's face. Thankfully Bryan was holding Kaira at the time, otherwise I don't think it would have mattered if Tala was holding her.

I wait for a second, Tala rubs his jaw a bit and looks confused for a second before I can see it click in his head that he knows Ray knows. He chances a glance at me and I nod a bit, but don't move out of the corner I'm standing in. Bryan looks downright pissed, but he doesn't move into help his lover. I was expecting Ray to attack again but he doesn't, he just stands there glaring at Tala before turning on his heel and sweeps past me.

"Feel better?" I mutter under my breath, bad choice of words on my part and why I felt the need to say them I have no clue.

He pauses beside me and turns on me quickly, his fist meets my jaw and my head hits the wall I'm standing against. I deserve that one, so I let him walk off.

"No!" He yells over his shoulder at me, disappearing down the hall.

"What the hell was that about?!" Bryan yells out, Tala and I exchange a look before turning our attention to him; I guess today is a good enough day to die I suppose.

* * *

 **Kain's POV**

My head is heavy, my memories are fuzzy and I feel empty for some reason. I'm slightly cold, which is new to me because I don't get cold. It's dark behind my eyelids, but I can slightly see a light is on behind them so I slowly open my eyes. Too bright, this damn room is way to bright and it hurts so I close my eyes quickly.

"Kain?" That's papa's voice, on my right, I didn't even smell or hear him in here. His voice isn't comforting, if anything it's filled with concern.

I go to shift, my eyes still closed and something jerks against my arm causing me to flinch. Slowly I crack an eye open and turn to where I think my father is sitting, sure enough our eyes meet and I crack the other open. He looks like he's been crying, his eyes are red and puffy.

"What's wrong?" I ask, even though I know that's a stupid question.

It doesn't take me long to realize that I am in the hospital, the heart monitor's beeping has finally registered in my ears and the tug I felt was the IV pulling against my movement. My head is still heavy, so I must be on some type of drugs.

My first thought is that dad is dead, papa had run back to the house and getting me here was Bryan's number one priority. My heart sinks a little, my dad can't be dead; can he?

"Dad… Is dad alright?" His concern flicks to anger for a second and I wonder what that's all about, but I don't ask. "Is he?!" I shout and try to sit up again, but my body screams at me in protest and I just fall back down.

"He's alive." Papa bites out angrily, my head swims a bit trying to understand his anger. Is he mad because dad told him to leave and he didn't; what the hell is going on?

"Papa… Tell me what's going on…" I trail off, maybe I don't want to know; how long have I been asleep anyways?

He takes in a breath of air before releasing it in a huff, and stands and sits down beside me. His anger washes away with concern again, and I think I can see his eyes starting to tear up again. His hand rests on my shoulder and his eyes lock onto mine, I don't like that look but I've lost my voice now and wait for him to speak.

"Your father is fine, he's alive. Brooklyn left again, he won't come back around. I don't think at least… You should have told us he was the father… But it doesn't matter now… Kain…" He trails off, I still don't like that look nor do I like the way he's stumbling around his words. Tears trail down his cheeks and my heart sinks; does he mean? No, no it couldn't have happened.

"Papa…?" My voice cracks, this empty feeling I had in me is already sending mixed signals in my head but I don't want to believe it.

"I'm so sorry Kain, but you lost the babies…" His words cut me like a knife, it hurts, it physically hurts me and I can't breathe.

When I started crying harder I don't know, I didn't even notice the tears running down my face. How could I have been so stupid to fight Brooklyn? I risked my children's lives, now I don't have them anymore and it hurts. Even if I hadn't known them, I still wanted them. I wanted to know them, wanted to see them grow and take them to their first day of school and spend my life with them. I was supposed to protect them, and I failed.

I didn't notice the room shaking, or the burning in me rise up. Papa jumped off the bed, as I grip at the sides of my head screaming. The lights flicker on and off until they burst, and the room goes dark. He can see me, and I can see him. The heart monitor's beeping picked up the speed of my heart as it pounded into my chest, feeling as if it was going to burst through at any moment.

"Kain!" Papa yells but his pleas fall on deaf ears.

I can't control it, the fire within me is burning and it's the only comfort that's helping and I can't let it go. The door to my room bursts open and I can smell my father stepping in, but I don't look up at them. Instead I will myself away, vanishing just like that and I can hear them yelling out my name before I completely left.


	15. Wrong Side of Heaven

**Song belongs to Five Finger Death Punch. I feel it speaks for Kain in the best way possible, it's the chapter the entire fic has been named after.**

 **Everything he's endured, everything he's had to experience can be pretty much summed up with this song so I recommend checking it out. It's personally one of my top favorite songs of all time.**

 **Thank you all for having followed this fic, the love I get for writing it has really helped me stay motivated as this and Carnival have become two of my most favorite fics to have ever written. We are coming up on the end here, I wasn't sure how I was going to end this, but it is ending soon. This will be the longest fic I have written, and I'm pretty proud of that in itself.**

 **As always, enjoy.**

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ September 1** **st**

I don't know where I am, it's just completely dark that not even my neko-jin blood can help me see through it. My heart still hurts, I still feel empty and I hate it. I hate myself, I hate Brooklyn and just about everything else. Why, why me? What did I do to deserve this punishment, I don't think I have warranted this kind of pain? I never knew it could hurt so much, to miss someone you didn't even know with the kind of pain I'm in. I shouldn't have been so careless, this is no one's fault but my own and, so I'll stay in this black void that I've found myself in. Here, I'm safe. Here, I can't hurt anyone else.

I did what I thought was right, being kidnapped to save my parents because I loved them. Running away to save them, because I loved them. I agreed to sleep with Brooklyn, because I loved him. I fought with him, because I loved him. What has all that love given me though? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I have nothing, because I am nothing. So, I will sit here and be nothing in this world of nothing.

I'll get hungry eventually, I'll get lonely, but I figured it'd be best if I just die anyways. I was content with that choice, I was ready for it, until the other me took control. I can't say I put up much of a fight this time, he could have my body and control of the things he wanted to do; I don't care at this point.

The black void washes away from us, but I don't really know where we are. It looks like a city, skyscrapers galore and I can hear the sounds of cars and people walking, the smell of gas and sewers. The people around me are speaking English, maybe I'm in America? I don't really care though. Looking around, I'm in a park and some people stop what they're doing to look my way. I'm still in my hospital gown, the IV came along with me and the tube is hanging off my hand. I'm barefoot, and I know I look a down right mess and a freak.

Those who stop to stare don't do so for too long, those who want to make me a spectacle start flashing their cameras or phones at me. I don't wince from the bright lights or the noises, their chatter and amusement. No, the other me is in control and he's pissed. The wind picks up speed around the park, the clouds get dark and block out the sun. A few people who are smarter than a third grader run off for cover at the unexplained storm rolling in, those who aren't as smart stay.

He, we, I, bare our fangs at the others as my pupils slit and my vision constricts, it doesn't hurt anymore since I'm numb all over. I can feel the fire in my throat, the darkness creeps around my body and down my arms. A few people gasp, while others ask if this is a magic show of some sort; if only they knew. They don't know though, they don't understand who I am, what I am, and what I'm about to do. I don't bother trying to stop him, he's in control so I take a seat back into the darkness of my mind and watch.

The darkness around us shoots out in all directions around the circle of spectators, some scream in fear, others in agony as the darkness pierces through their bodies; I smile. The fire in me burns more fiercely, more so than it has ever done as multiple bodies drop down dead around me. I never really understood why the darkness wanted me to kill to begin with, but as those people lay dead and the darkness is still rushing through them, I can feel it. It's feeding on their life source, feeding me. It's giving me more power and strength, I still feel empty, but a new fullness fills me, and it warms me. I've crossed the line, I've crossed so many lines in my life, but I don't care.

Once the darkness is done feeding off the dead, the streams of it retract back into my body like snakes recoiling after a strike. My power keeps me safe and warm, it's dancing around my body like a shield from head to toe. I can hear sirens off in the distance and other people still screaming around me, the other me doesn't care and neither do I but we need clothes. Quickly our eyes scan the dead bodies for someone who might be our size, we pick out a man and our stream of power goes out again, wrapping his body up and bringing it closer. We're quick in taking his clothes off and ours, so we can dress. They're a bit loose but it will have to do, the sirens are getting closer and before they can catch us he takes us away.

* * *

 **Kai's POV/ September 3** **rd**

"Kai! Kai come here!" Ray yells out my name from the living room, as I've been stuck in my study just next door.

Quickly I jump from my chair at the desk, the boxes and papers get knocked over and scatter around me, but I don't bother to pick them up. I rush out through the archway of the study and turn left immediately into the archway of the living room, at the left of the room is the TV and the three couches that sit around it. Ray isn't sitting on any of them as his eyes are stuck on the TV, he's standing in front of it and I can see he's trembling.

"What is it?" I step in, squeezing through the gap between the couch that sits directly in front of the TV and the one on the left of it.

I hadn't glanced at the TV yet, my focus when I walked over was on him and he points at the TV before us, my eyes follow his outstretched hand and go wide. It's a news broadcast, an urgent one, and I can see the fear in the news reporter's eyes. They're trying their best not to stumble on their words, on the upper right-hand corner above their heads is a small box where a video clip is being played on repeat. In that box I see my son, his body is covered in a grey-blue smog and it juts out from him and hits the circle of people around him. He just stands there; the camera man is shaking and then the view from the camera flips and I can only guess he was killed and dropped the phone. The video then goes back on repeat, playing the scene over.

"W… What do we do?" Ray breathes out, his eyes still locked on the TV screen before us.

I have no answers for him, not right now at least. His trembling starts up again beside me, but I don't move my arm around to comfort him, we haven't been touching or speaking since Kain left again, unless we have something to yell at each other for. With our memories back, he hasn't forgiven me and I don't blame him, I can only be thankful he hasn't taken the first flight back to China with Kaira.

Telling Bryan went a bit better, he seemed to understand and I lived another day. Ray on the other hand has been one way, then his mood switches and he's completely different. I can see he's fighting with himself about wanting to be around me, and then not wanting to be in the same house and breathing the same air as I am. I want to comfort him but I also don't want a black eye, he'll come to me when he feels like it. I haven't slipped again by drinking, just so he'll let me be around our daughter because truth be told, I could wake up one morning and they'd both be gone without so much as a warning.

"I don't know… But we need to do something…" I manage, after trying to pick through my words carefully.

"Brooklyn…" He breathes out and I shift to face him again, why would he suggest that piece of shit?

"Why?" My voice gets cold but it doesn't bother him anymore.

"He's the only one who can stop him…" He shakes his head a bit, and I understand that but it's still not a good idea.

"I can try." I offer and he turns to meet my eyes with his, he studies me for a minute or two before breathing out a sigh.

"You can't, Brooklyn took most of your power. Kain, he could kill you."

"Better me than him." That came out quicker than I expected, but I don't regret those words. He goes quiet again, but he didn't react to what I had said.

"No… No, I want you both to be able to come home." He shakes his head, and I feel a bit apprehensive towards that sentence. One minute he'll say something like that, and the next he'll turn around and wish I was dead.

"I don't want to rely on an outsider again to take care of our son, it was supposed to be our job, my job, to protect him. I don't care if Brooklyn did take some of my power, I still have enough left. I might not really know how to use it or control it, but it's all we have now."

"We don't even know where to start, so it'd be meaningless anyways. Brooklyn would be able to track him down, maybe calm him to an extent. Before we lose him completely, I don't like the idea either but it's our only option."

"You do realize Brooklyn is the reason Kain is like this, don't you?" My temper rises and I cross my arms over my chest, out of habit when I'm angry and it gets the message across that he needs to stop this.

"Partially… It's also your fault, incase you forgot." He bites out angrily, the switch being flipped once more and I brace myself for another yelling match. "It's also mine…" He breathes out as his shoulders come forward a bit, and he looks away from me. Another flip of the switch and I relax a bit, relieved that we won't be yelling again anytime soon.

"How would we even get a hold of Brooklyn?" He looks up at me again, but I can tell he doesn't have the slightest clue either.

"I don't know…" He shakes his head, pushing past me and leaving me standing in the living room.

I turn back to the TV, the video clip still on repeat and the news anchors still looking mortified. I turn it off, leaving the living room back to my study to sit and contemplate things.

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ September 18** **th** **/ Seven Years later**

Today, seven years ago, I would have been finding out whether I was having boys or girls, or even a mixture of both. Personally, I wanted a mixture of both, one boy and one girl. I sometimes picture them and what they'd look like, I'd like the boy to look like me and the girl to have Brooklyn's hair color and his teal colored eyes. I'd want the boy to have Brooklyn's skin tone, and the girl to have a mix of ours. I'd want the boy to be older, to be the big brother to protect his sister. Though with a father like me and grandfathers like my dad's, I don't think she'd take anyone's shit and could probably stand on her own two feet. It took me a while, but I had picked out names for them. Kail for the boy, as it means mighty one, and it matches the first three letters of mine and my father's names. Renee would have been my daughter's name, which means reborn. It doesn't matter now though, because I no longer have them with me.

I didn't know I could make my own world, it's not as elaborate as Brooklyn's, but it works when I want to get away from the real world. Right now, it's still just a black void, but it brings me comfort and it calms me down some until the other me whisks us back to the real one. We don't go to the same place twice, always taking what we want from others until he's satisfied and he takes us back. I still feel empty, no matter how many people we kill and no matter how much the warmth fills me; I will always be empty and numb.

It's been seven years now since I've seen my fathers, being on the run from the authorities, killing day in and day out. I still feel empty, I still miss my children that I couldn't protect. I miss my fathers and my sister, I wonder if they're doing alright and at times I want to go home but I can't. The other me has full control now, and I don't dare try to take back over. One day I'll go home, but today is not that day and neither is tomorrow. To be honest, I don't know when that will be. For now, I have to run. Run away from the authorities that are searching for me, run from the darkness as it's now holding onto me tighter as I've finally given in to it. No, not today or tomorrow will I go home. Not next week or next month, I'll stay out here and take what I can because it's the only thing that quenches the pain and the burning. For now, this is my life and I don't want to give it up.

Today we're in Australia, which city I don't know, and I don't bother to take in the sights or enjoy the warm air. Tonight, I'm only here for one thing, and that's to kill. I put my foot down for once, a few days ago, making one rule that he has to obey and that is we don't kill children. They're innocent and don't deserve death, I can't say most of the people we have killed did either since I don't know them and they aren't criminals, but I don't bother to stop him.

Tonight, was no different, it was a man first who begged us to spare his life, but I don't have the inclination to show mercy. After taking his life, we moved on, looking for our next victim amongst the shadows of the night. As we walked along the empty streets a bar catches our eyes and we decide to go in, he's feeling a bit restless and wants a lay so I watch him go inside. It's my body he'll be letting some sleaze into, but I don't protest.

The bar isn't all that special, it's a simple pub styled place with a few tables and chairs. There's no loud music blaring in the air, but the smell of cigarette smoke is thick and I almost gagged stepping inside. I can have those now, so maybe we can bum one off of someone tonight. There's a few people scattered about the place, three men are at the bar on the left but they're not sitting together. There's a couple at table near the back-right corner, while a group of women are huddled in a booth along the right wall. I can't say anyone here is worth trying to bed tonight, so I make my way to the bar quietly. Nobody really bothers to pay attention to me but the bartender, he watches me like a hawk as I sit down right in front of him on the bar stool.

"You got an ID, kid?" He scoffs, his blue eyes bouncing up and down in their sockets as he looks at me.

I just turned twenty-six last June, I know I look my age, even if I look a mess right now. My hair is down my lower back, right now I have it braided but it's slowly coming undone from the killing I did tonight. My clothes are simple, ones I've stolen off of someone I killed a day ago. Luckily my pupils haven't permanently slit again, I think I got the hang of not keeping them like that for too long. Over the years I look more and more like Kai, but sometimes I don't even recognize myself when I do bother looking into a mirror.

I don't say anything and take out my ID, handing it to him. He inspects it for a minute before handing it back with a huff, I don't know what his problem is but I don't ask.

"What you want then?" He grumbles.

"Jack Daniels, no ice." I order sternly, and he nods as he goes around to prepare my drink.

The man to my right lights a cigarette and I lean over towards him, before he didn't notice me and his eyes go wide a bit with question as I'm in his personal space. He's an older man, maybe in his late fifties with a white mustache.

"Can I help you?" He asks, still eyeing me.

"Can I have one?" I ask, almost pleadingly but also commanding.

It takes him a moment to respond, as if he's not sure until he pulls his pack back out from his shirt pocket and hands it to me. I nod to him as thanks and take one out, he goes to hand me his lighter but I already lit it by blowing into the back end of it. His eyes go wide for a moment as I hand him the pack back, his hand is shaking a bit as he's still looking at me.

"You a magician or something?" He asks, his voice wavering a bit.

"Somethin like that, yeah…" I sigh out, blowing out the cloud of smoke while resting my elbow on the counter top, keeping the cigarette between my fingers.

It goes quiet for a moment until the bartender comes back with my drink, placing it rather hard on the bar top in front of me. I shoot him a glare, still not sure what the hell his problem is but it's starting to flare my anger and the other me is getting ready to attack. Our eyes lock for a minute in a death match till he's called off to the left, I watch his back for a minute till I reach out for my drink.

"Don't worry about Harvey too much, he's just not used to seeing newcomers all that much." The old man explains, even though I didn't bother asking.

I just nod at him and sip at my drink, it doesn't burn like it should so I swallow everything in one go.

"Slow down kid, you'll get an upset stomach that way." The old man chuckles and I can see him shake his head a bit at me. "I'm James by the way, friends call me Jim." He turns to face me and holds a hand out, I look at him a bit before returning the gesture.

"Kain." I tell him and turn back to order another drink since Harvey's decided to grace me with his presence again. "Another." I tell him, pushing my empty glass towards him.

He grunts in his throat, but does as I command, I blow a cloud of smoke at his back and smirk. He doesn't scare me, nothing scares me anymore. If I want I can just vanish, or I can kill him, it doesn't really matter to me at this point.

"What brings you here Kain?" Jim asks as my new glass is put down in front of me, in the same manner as the first.

"Not much." I offer, even though I thought about not answering him.

"Got family in town?"

"No, they're in Russia…" Why am I still talking? To shut myself up I take my drink and down it in one go again.

"You're Russian then?" He shifts a bit so he can lean towards me on the bar.

"And Chinese, maybe a bit of Japanese too." I smirk at him, a weird combination that's for sure and his face shows he thinks the same. Kai might be part Japanese, I'm not too sure, but Hiwatari isn't a common Russian last name.

"You're a bit far from home then, aren't you son?" He chuckles again while finishing his cigarette, while I've forgotten about mine.

I ignore him this time and take in a long drag, it's halfway burnt out now anyways and finish it. It goes quiet again for some time between us, the others in the bar have still been minding their own business and talking to the ones they came with. The door opens but nobody turns to watch the newcomer, except me. He's a tall man, maybe in his early twenties like me and he sits down on my left at the bar leaving a chair between us.

He's got dark brown hair and his eyes are a light brown-yellow, he's slim but I can tell he's put some effort into his body under those clothes of his. Already I the other me is running through plans on how to get him into bed with us, I don't have an objection as always because he does look good and well kept. I was a bit afraid the other me would pick some random bum in here, or Jim; ew.

I only watch him from the side, I don't want him to know I'm watching him because it might become a bit too awkward if he catches on. Jim's gone quiet for the most part, while Harvey comes back around to take the newcomers order.

"Good to see you Shane, your usual tonight?" So, Harvey can talk nicely when he wants to. Shane just nods to Harvey with a smile before Harvey goes around to make Shane's drink.

It goes quiet again around the bar, I think Jim might have fallen asleep, but I don't know since my attention is still on Shane. He notices me starring out the corner of my eyes and he glances over at me through his, I quickly advert my gaze and call Harvey back over for another drink.

"How many of these you gonna have kid?" Harvey asks in his un-friendly tone.

"As many as I damn well please." I bite back, shoving my glass closer to him along the bar top.

"Do you even have any money on you?" He snatches the glass up, stalling to get me what I want and my anger spikes.

"More than you do." I bite back, I still have the money I stole from Kai and had gone back a few days after I initially left to get my wallet from the house.

"Highly doubt that." Harvey rolls his eyes, but for some reason goes back to get me my drink.

"When you're the son of Kai Hiwatari, it makes it easy to have more money than most people." I don't know why I said that, but the other me just likes to run his mouth.

All the idle chatter in the room stops and I can feel their eyes on my back and Jim wakes up and I can hear him shift in his seat, Shane makes some kind of noise between an impressed and surprised grunt. I didn't realize they would know who he was out here this far away from Russia, but I guess I should have known a little bit.

"I thought you looked familiar." Shane offers, breaking the silence of the room and fully turns to face me.

"I get that a lot." I mumble, taking my drink Harvey brought back for me, this time he sat it down a bit more nicely.

"What's a big shot's son like Kai Hiwatari's, doin all the way out here?" He continues, I wonder if he has some beef with my old man.

"Just out." I shrug, setting my empty glass down on the bar top. Maybe the other me telling everyone who I was wasn't such a bad idea, the other me is certainly cheering with joy inside my head because now getting Shane to screw us doesn't seem to be so hard to do now.

"How do you like it here?"

"Dunno, just got here." I shrug again, this time I turn to face him and look him in the eyes.

"Got a place your stayin at?" He asks, and I see a glint in his eyes while the other me is high fiving himself.

"No." We say, and Shane smiles warmly at us.

"How long you stayin for, can come crash at my place if you're comfortable with it."

"Wasn't going to be long, thanks for the offer." I but in before the other me can say something, for some reason alarm bells are ringing in my head about this guy.

"Not a problem, I understand." He nods with a smile and the glint in his eyes die down a bit.

"Bathroom?" I turn to Harvey, who had been busy cleaning some glasses with his back turned to us. I think Jim fell asleep again, he's not been saying much, and his breathing is shallow and even.

Harvey doesn't answer and just tilts his head to the left; my eyes follow the motion of his head and I see the sign around the corner. I stand without a word, heading to my destination. When I get back there's a glass sitting in front of my stool, Shane has moved onto the stool beside mine and Jim is gone. Most of the others that were here earlier are gone now, all but the couple in the booth but I think they're passed out on the table top. Harvey and Shane are in a cordial chat, but I don't want to be rude, so I try to ignore their words as I take my seat.

"What's this?" I ask, pointing to the glass in front of me.

"Jack Daniels, no ice." Shane answers me warmly, Harvey backing away from the bar to do whatever it is bartenders do.

"I didn't ask for another one."

"I got it for you, figured you'd order one anyways." The alarm bells are going off again, but the other me shoves me away and comes back into control.

 _"Sniff it first you dumbass!"_ I yell at him, but it's too late as he downs the drink.

"Thanks." The other me smiles, a fang sticks out, but Shane doesn't seem all too bothered by it.

"No problem." He smiles at us, turning back to face Harvey's back.

We sit in silence watching Harvey, I noticed a cigarette to my right where Jim had been sitting and take it up, he must have left it for me, and stick it between my lips. Before I can blow into the back of it Shane's lent over with a lighter and lights the end for me, I want to glare at him but the other me just smiles his thanks as he sucks in.

Harvey takes up my empty glass and switches it with another, without hesitation I reach out to down it like I have been all night. Unlike the others this one warms my stomach and it kind of burns a bit, my head is slightly heavy but I'm not a light-weight, having 14 shots of vodka is proof enough of that. Alarm bells are ringing again, something isn't right. The room starts to spin as I sit my glass down, the cigarette falls from my lips onto the bar top and my head follows it.

* * *

"G… Get off…" I can hardly form a coherent sentence; my head is pounding, and my arms feel like jelly as I'm trying to shove Shane off of me.

As the rest of my body becomes a bit more aware of what's going on around me, I can feel the cool air of the ac nip at my exposed chest. I can still feel that I have my pants on, but Shane's hands are roaming my body and they're going lower down to my hips. I feel like I'm being pressed into a bed, but at this point I could careless where it is I'm laying down, I just want him off of me!

"S… Stop!" I yell out a bit more forcefully with a growl in my throat, but he doesn't listen as he bites my neck.

I can hardly move my body to get out from under him, all the movement achieves is my hips rock against his and it excites me when I don't want it to. Shane makes a noise at the contact and my blood runs cold, panic settles into the pit of my stomach and I try to call forth my power but it's not coming; WHY?! One of his hands grabs a fist full of my hair, jerking my head to the side and I growl at him again since it's the only thing I know how.

He comes into my line of sight, sitting on my waist and he's shirtless and panting as his eyes have that glint in them again, this time it's a bit more sinister than before. He bends down quickly and his mouth crashes into mine, I can taste blood in my mouth as his lips scraped my fangs, but it doesn't bother him, and he shoves his tongue in my mouth. I will my hand to move with more effort and my nails dig into his skin, he grunts again as if it doesn't bother him and I try to burn him, but my power still isn't working.

"You're a feisty one, aren't you?" He snickers, pulling away and watching me as he sits back up on my waist.

"Get. OFF!" I push harder against him and he slightly falters but not completely, my strength is only coming in spurts now as I'm fighting off the effects of whatever drug he gave me.

He responds by grinding his clothed hips into mine, on instinct and because of the drugs my back arches and I bite my lip hard to stop the moan that wanted to escape. I don't know where the other me went, I can't feel him and that scares me because if he was here we would be able to stop this. Maybe it's the drugs, but I don't know, and it terrifies me that I'm alone for once.

His grinding continues, and I'm only thankful for the fact that we're partially clothed. During his grinding his hand meets my face as he smacks me once, my head jerks to the side and I snarl. The burning in me ignites but it's not as strong as I remember it out to be because the other me still isn't here. I try to push against him again, but my hips meet his again and my hands slip against his chest only leaving scratches that draw thin lines of blood. He smacks my face again, harder this time, and wretches my hands away from him tying them together with my shirt above my head.

My breathing picks up, fear settling in deeper into the pit of my stomach as I watch him starting to undress me the rest of the way. I try to kick him but just like my arms, they're still not in proper working order and all it does is help him get my pants off quicker. I try to inch myself away, but he grabs my hips, his dull nails dig into my skin and I wince from the pain.

"STOP, STOP THIS!" I shout quickly, hoping someone will hear me.

He glances up at me once before jerking my boxers clean off, I shiver from the cold, still something I'm not used to during these seven years I've let the other me have control. He takes me into his mouth and I bite my lip again, tears roll down my cheeks and before I can stop myself I breathe out a name.

"Who?" Shane pulls away, looking over my stomach to meet my eyes.

It doesn't matter who, he's not going to come anyways. I'm going to be left here to endure this, I have no way home and no way to my own world. I've been left alone, and I might as well just accept my fate, what did I have to live for anyways? I close my eyes, I don't want to watch this, and he takes me back into his mouth. I flinch, my claws dig into the palms of my hands and the tears don't stop rolling down my cheeks.

"Brooklyn…" I whimper out again without thinking, this time Shane chooses to ignore my words and continues doing what it is he's doing to me.

As I will myself to try and picture myself somewhere else, doing something else, the room gets colder and there's a flash of white light behind my closed eyelids. I don't open my eyes as Shane pulls away and screams in agony, the coldness of the room gets warmer and I feel a gentle hand on my cheek. This is a dream, he's not here so I don't bother opening my eyes.

"Kain…" He sighs out, I've missed his voice. "It's alright now, open your eyes." He coaxes, and I obey, even if this is a dream I want to see him.

My eyes meet his teal ones, his pupils aren't slit like I thought they would be and they hold a look of sadness in them. He gives me a soft smile, but it also shows sadness. He caresses my cheek and his touch is so warm I can't help myself nuzzle into the palm of his hand, a purr escapes me, but it wasn't because of the drugs.

"Let's take you home now." He says softly to me, unbinding my hands and picking my clothes up for me as I sit up on the bed.

I dress quietly as he's turned his back on me, I glance over to my left and see Shane's dead body slumped against the wall. There's a hole through his stomach and his body looks like it was caught in a fire, he's hardly recognizable now but I don't care. Trying to dress is hard, the drugs in my system are leaving but I still fumble a bit with my pants and shirt. Once dressed again I sit down on the end of the bed, staring at the back of Brooklyn's head; maybe this isn't a dream?

"Brooklyn?" I stutter out to him and he slowly turns, with the same fluid poise and grace he's always had. He gives me another soft sad smile, and steps up to me.

"C'mon now, let's go home." He holds his hand out between us and I take it without thinking.


	16. Broken

**Broken belongs to Seether ft. Amy Lee. It's a beautiful song that I think fits Ray and Kai's love and strife they've put each other through.**

 **It came to my attention, that during Carnival of Rust, I never disclosed how these two actually got together in the first place. The first half is a flashback, and then it goes to the present day.**

 **This will either be the second to last chapter, or third, unsure yet as I haven't started the next one just yet.**

 **As always enjoy and I'll see you at the next chapter.**

* * *

 **Ray's POV/ 27 Years Ago**

 _For once the dojo was quiet, Tyson and the others had run off to the movies. A calm peace had come back to our little dysfunctional home, Kai had finally been released from the hospital a few weeks ago. He was here with me, somewhere I think, honestly, he was still running off without telling us where he was going but I can't say I'm all that surprised. Some things never change I suppose, but I'm just glad he pulled through having to battle crazy Brooklyn._

 _BEGA was crushed, thanks to all of us, Boris ran off I think but I don't really care, what else could he do to us? After defeating him twice, I don't think he has the gall to try and do something again. After the epic battle that had transpired between Tyson and crazy Brooklyn, leaving half of Tokyo disassembled, the news stations were still running headlines on it. I don't know what happened to crazy Brooklyn, I had gone to see him once and threatened him that I would kill him if Kai didn't wake up from the coma he put him in._

 _I didn't leave his side half the time when he was held up in the hospital, how could I when I was madly in love with him? Tala had come around a few times to check up on him, since he had woken up during Tyson's battle. I thought I had seen Kai there, but nothing at that time made much sense seeing as how we were no longer in the real world. When we returned to the real world I came rushing back to the hospital and he was still there, stuck in his coma and unresponsive to the world around him._

 _It's been nice having him back, even if he doesn't hang around us all that much still. It's like things haven't really changed, but they have, and they will. I've gotten my letter to come home, back to my village to take my place as Mariah's husband and start my life. I'll be seventeen next year, an adult in their eyes and its high time I start doing adult things. I don't want to go though, I don't love Mariah like that and I think she's come to accept it. I can't tell the elders that though, they'd have my head and my other team mates would disown me. Since Tyson and Max becoming closer I don't think they'd be too put off by me being bisexual, but I'm not ready to open up to anyone about it._

 _I have to tell them about the letter though, I've put it off long enough, but I need to do it when everyone's here, which is a lot harder to do nowadays then before. So, tonight I'm preparing a large meal, just to make sure Tyson can't scoff it all down in one go and has to stay in the same room before running off to play games or watch TV till three in the morning with Max and Daichi. Tyson's grandpa isn't even home right now, him and Mr. D have become good friends over the years so he's probably off with him getting things ready to reopen the new BBA. Hiro, who knows where that guy ran off to. I wouldn't be surprised if he went off in search of crazy Brooklyn, he can have fun with that though for all I care. Yes, I saw the way Hiro was making googly eyes at Brooklyn, a bit creepy in my opinion but then again, my choice in love interests can be questioned to._

 _Kai, I wouldn't say he's the best choice in a partner but it's who my hearts set on. I hardly noticed him our first year together, except that he was extremely hot and good looking. So, it was more lust at firs sight than love, but as we got to know each other it got slightly better. Until he betrayed us, took our bit-beasts and tried to take over the world with his psycho grandfather, who knows where he ran off to either, I don't know, nor do I care. Our second year he was there for all of us, it was great seeing him again after a year, the others too of course. He helped me get Driger back from that ape of a man Dunga, and I fell in love._

 _This past year has been rough on all of us, all abandoning Tyson for a stupid title and almost breaking the three-year friendship we all had. I regret it, slightly, but it has put a strain on all of us and I can understand why Tyson is still a bit leery around us all. Even if we all came back in the end and stood by him to take down Boris again, he won't stick around for too long, hint why I'm alone right now making dinner. I think that's why Kai doesn't stick around too much either, since he joined BEGA to go at Tyson again._

 _None of that really matters though, I just want them all to come home and enjoy this feast I've made while I break all their hearts again. As I said, I don't want to go but I have no choice. With a deep sigh I pull out the cake from the oven, setting it out to cool on the counter while I go about getting the rest of the items for dinner ready. Salad for starters, bread sticks and chicken alfredo, a bit Italian I know but it's easy and it feeds the army we have living here. Popping the bread sticks into the oven my ears twitch, the back door opens, and I can already smell the familiar cologne of my team captain._

 _"Smells good." He tells me as he closes the door, but that's all he says as he walks into the space of the kitchen._

 _"Coffee's fresh." I tell him, closing the oven door, knowing he was already heading to the little machine._

 _He doesn't say anything as he passes by me to get a mug from the cupboard, I rest against the counter next to the oven to watch him. My heart is racing because I want to tell him, but I don't dare do that because I can't handle two heart breaks in one night. Maybe leaving is my saving grace, if I leave I can forget about him and it won't hurt so much._

 _"Have you heard from the others?" I start, he's not one to start conversations._

 _"No." Real helpful Kai, why do I bother I sometimes wonder. "What's with the cake?" He glances up past me to the cake sitting on the counter beside me._

 _"Just felt like baking." I shrug, I lie. It's too help loosen the tension, kind of like my apology to the guys._

 _"Hn." He grunts out, what else is new? Finishing his cup of coffee, going for seconds which is a bit odd._

 _One thing I've come to notice, knowing him for three years of my life, he's a terrible creature of habit and will only have one cup of coffee before dinner and one after. So, either he's tired, which I doubt because he doesn't get tired. Or, he's stressed, which is a possibility since he just got out of a coma._

 _"You okay?" I raise an eyebrow at him, something I unintentionally picked up from him._

 _"No." He breathes out over the rim of the mug before taking another drink, way too low for a normal human to hear but being a neko-jin I heard it clearly as if he shouted it. "Yeah." He says in a normal tone after swallowing, so that does nothing to satisfy my curiosity. He didn't mean for me to hear that no, but now I'm wondering why he even said it to begin with._

 _"You sure?" I shift against the counter, but before he opens his mouth the front door opens, and the kids come in hooting and hollering about their day._

 _Before they make their appearance, Kai sweeps out of the kitchen, taking his mug with him without so much as a look back. His white scarf trailing after him till it disappears around the corner of the hall, I deflate against the counter a bit as the others come into the doorway of the kitchen._

 _"Man Ray, that smells really good!" Tyson inhales, and I smile to him._

 _"Thanks Ty, everyone's here right?" I know they are, since I can smell them all and hear their breathing patterns perfectly._

 _"Yup, all and accounted for." Tyson salutes and then his eyes go wide as they settle on the cake behind me, drool is already seeping down the corner of his mouth. "You baked a cake?! What's the occasion?" He almost yells out._

 _"Wanted to bake, it's not done yet. You all should go and wash up, dinner won't be ready for another few minutes." I offer, turning my back to them as they all take off to do what I commanded. Being the 'mother' of this lil family has its perks, sometimes I think Kai is more of the father figure of our group but that could just be because of the position I'm in, I honestly wouldn't mind have a couple of kids with him though._

 _While the breadsticks finish up I go to icing the cake I made, trying to think of things to say to the others. Tell them my plans of leaving them for good, maybe I can offer broken promises that I'll come and see them. I debate whether to do it after the cake, or before the cake. It was supposed to be my apology, so I decide to give them the cake after I tell them all. I try to draw finishing dinner out as long as possible, just to avoid the inevitable. Before I know it, everything is done and ready, the table is set, and I call the children back to the dining room._

 _I get compliments left and right from everyone as they take their normal seats around the table, all beaming, and my heart is breaking. Before Tyson has the chance to dig in I realize we're missing someone at the head of the table, father dearest of this 'family', Kai. Now something is definitely wrong, he's normally the first one here when I call for dinner._

 _"Tyson, don't you start until Kai's here." I warn, standing from my spot at the opposite end of where Kai would have been sitting._

 _"Aw man, but I'm starving!" Tyson whines as I walk away, heading down the hall to Kai's room ignoring Tyson's belly aching._

 _I hesitate for a second before knocking on his door, he doesn't answer me, so I knock a bit harder and wait for an answer. There isn't one, so I open it a bit, peeking in and I see him laying on his back on his bed. He's completely relaxed, eyes closed and arms under his head with a leg crossed over the other. I can see the cords to his earphones stuck in his ears, his iPod resting on his chest. I barely step in and his eyes open, I swear he might be part neko-jin and not know it with how well his senses are heightened._

 _"What?" He bites out, sitting up slightly and pulling one earphone out._

 _"Dinners done, you didn't hear me, so I came to get you."_

 _"Not hungry." He grumbles, resting back into his bed. I puff my cheeks out at him, I need him there otherwise all my hard work will have gone to waste._

 _"I don't care if you're not hungry, I didn't slave around the kitchen all night for it to go to waste. Besides, I'm calling a family… Team meeting, and you need to be there so get your ass up and let's go." He glares at me for a second, a long time ago that might have worked but it doesn't anymore, and he knows this as I send my own back at him._

 _"Whatever." He huffs, shifting off his bed and pulling the other earphone out and setting the cords and iPod on his bed. I smile to him, making sure a fang sticks out as my thanks and he follows me down the hall back to our 'children'._

 _"Bout time you guys, I'm fixing to die over here." Tyson whines, his head laying on the table._

 _"You'll survive." I wave him off, taking my seat as Kai takes his across the table from me._

 _It goes quiet as everyone gathers the food I made onto their plates, I just watch like the proud 'mother' I am at them all. Their faces content and happy to have some good food in their systems, getting more compliments left and right. Just as I see everyone slowing down I decide it's time to calm my nerves and break their hearts, I clear my throat, and everyone looks up at me but Kai as he's still grumbling about having to be here with us picking at his food; ass._

 _"I'm glad you guys all liked it, makes me really happy." I start, and they just watch, Tyson is still shoveling food in, but his attention is still on me, so I don't mind._

 _"Are you alright Ray?" Hilary pipes in, noticing the waver in my tone._

 _"No…" I shake my head a bit, my eyes focus down at the table for a second and I can hear Tyson's fork drop onto the table._

 _"What's wrong dude?" He asks, and I look up and everyone's looking at me now, even Kai is giving me a questioning look._

 _"I don't want anyone to butt in while I'm talking, so just sit back and listen to what I have to say, alright?" I say rather sternly, even though my heart is beating into my ribcage._

 _"Okay." I get a chorus of agreement, except from Kai but that's not a surprise._

 _"I got a letter a few days ago, I'm being called back to the village since I'll be seventeen in a year. It's high time I go back anyways, since the others went back after everything that happened. I'm to go off and marry Mariah, like the elders want. I have to go, so please don't argue with me on this because it can't be helped, and it can't be stopped. I just wanted to let you guys know, because I'm going to miss you all. I'll try to come back around and see you, when I can." I chew my bottom lip to stop the tears, and glance around the table to take in their expressions._

 _"Do you even want to marry Mariah?" Hilary asks me to my left, I shake my head no._

 _"They can't dictate your life like that, can they?" Max on my right asks, and I nod._

 _"Dude, you don't have to go! Not after we all just got back together again, this isn't right there has to be another way!" Tyson yells, jumping back from the table next to Max._

 _"I told you, nothing can be done… Unless the village disowns me, which they haven't." I shrug my shoulders._

 _"What would make them disown you?" Hilary asks._

 _"There's a few things, but I'd rather not explain them all. Look guys, I know we just got back together and I was really looking for the next tournament when the BBA gets back on its feet with you all. But this can't be avoided."_

 _"They can't do this!" Tyson yells, slamming his fist on the table. "You don't want to go, it's that simple! We'll just hide you away or something, or you can cut your hair and change your name they'll never know." I let out a chuckle at that thought, but shake my head no again at him._

 _"Look, I knew you guys would get upset, but this isn't something anyone can change. So please, just sit back down Tyson and I'll get the cake for everyone." I go to stand, and Kai stands from his chair, all eyes go to him and for a second and he looks down right pissed._

 _Through everything he hadn't said a word, I wasn't really expecting him to anyways but that look on his face is hard to read right now; but then again when was it ever to read this guy?_

 _"Kai?" Tyson starts but before he can continue Kai stomps out the back door, slamming the door behind him as he goes. "What was that about?" I wish I knew Tyson._

 _The cake seemed to have helped calm them all down, Kai hadn't returned to wherever he stormed off to and by now it was getting close to midnight, so I decided to stay up and wait for him. Leaning against the wall by the front door, watching the koi swim around the pond in the yard a little ways away from me, the moon's reflection bouncing off the water. This isn't nothing new, me sitting up in the middle of the night waiting for him to come home._

 _That's right, this has become my home hasn't it? I used to call the village my home, but I haven't been back in nearly three years aside from dropping in for a few months after the first world tournament and when I left for the last one. No, this is my home, this is where I feel safer and like I belong. I don't want to go back, and really the only chance I have of not going back is if I get disowned, but doing that would mean I'd have to come clean. I'd rather not though, I wouldn't be able to handle that kind of rejection and still have to go back._

 _My ears twitch at the sound of footsteps on the gravel leading through the gate towards the dojo, my head snaps up to see him coming through. He pauses in halfway down the walkway and I stand, our eyes lock onto each other for a minute and something in his eyes waver and for a second it takes me off guard; has he been crying? I quickly push that thought aside, no way would he ever cry, not over little old me of all things._

 _"Where were you?" I demand, pulling my blanket around me that I had brought out with me since it's cold out._

 _"We need to talk." He cuts in, his voice cold and demanding._

 _"I was doing that, until you ran off!" I scorn, and he narrows his eyes at me, he doesn't like it when people fight back. "What was that even about Kai? First you don't want to even come down, you said you weren't doing alright but then lied and said you were when you got home." His eye brow arches in question and I sigh out, did he really forget?_

 _"Neko-jin, remember?" I point to myself and show him my fangs, and he nods. "What's going on? I understand why you might be avoiding everyone after all that's happened with BEGA, but in all honesty, we're all just glad to be back together. I know me having to leave kind of ruins it all, but I didn't expect you to run off like that." I wait for him to respond, he looks to be in thought for a moment and I can hear his breathing pick up nervously._

 _"How soon?" He asks, his voice isn't as cold as it was before, but I don't know what he's asking._

 _"What?"_

 _"How soon are you supposed to go back?" He says with a bit more force and I can see him slightly shake, he doesn't get cold, so something must be really wrong._

 _"In a week." He curses under his breath, but I can hear it and he runs a hand through his bangs._

 _"Let's go." He commands; what?_

 _"WHAT?" I ask rather loudly._

 _"Now Kon, let's go. We can't talk here." He turns on his heel and starts away back towards the archway, so I rush after him, dropping my blanket on the ground in my rush._

 _We don't speak all the way to wherever it is he's taking me, and his breathing has gone back to it's normal pattern and he's mumbling Russian under his breath, so I don't know what he's saying. I almost crash into him as he comes to a halt, I look around and we're in the field we normally come to train in._

 _"Kai?" I shift around him, stepping up in front of him and for a second our eyes meet till he adverts his gaze. "What's going on, seriously?" I go to reach out to touch him but pull back, he doesn't like being touched._

 _"What are some of the things that would get you disowned?" He mumbled out, almost burying his mouth under the rim of his scarf as both hands go into his pockets. He doesn't look like a hard wall standing like that, he doesn't look relaxed either but slightly tense and unsure._

 _"Why? I told you, I'm not really wanting to explain it all."_

 _"Just tell me!" He yells and now he tenses, but he still won't look at me as his focus is to the right of him._

 _"One, I would have to already be married without the elder's approval, but I'm too young for that. Second, I would have to have to bring some kind of shame upon my name, but I don't plan on doing that." I pause wondering why he even cares, he never cares._

 _"That's it?"_

 _"No. Third, I would have to be gay. Fourth I would have to break Driger's bit, but that would sever my bond and weaken me, you know that." I tell him, and his eyes meet mine again._

 _"Are you?" He cocks an eyebrow at me; am I what?_

 _"What?"_

 _"Are you gay? It's the only thing you didn't have a but for." Oh, he caught that did he?_

 _"No, as I said. I'm not going to get disowned." I lie through my teeth, I know I'm not that great at it but maybe this time I will be._

 _"You're a terrible liar." He scoffs turning away from me again and I puff my cheeks out._

 _"It doesn't matter, as I said I'm not looking to get disowned by my village." I bite out, stepping closer to him and secretly inhale his scent._

 _"Why? Why would you let them control you if you have an excuse to get out of this all?"_

 _"Because it's my home, because I don't have a boyfriend incase you haven't noticed so it wouldn't matter. I'm not ready to come out, and now I'm a bit peeved you're the first to know in all honesty so don't go off saying anything." I threaten, and he glances at me again, and we both go quiet for a minute or two before he sighs out._

 _"If you had one, would you be able to stay?"_

 _"I wouldn't have a choice without a home to go to, so yeah I would stay." Where is he going with this? "But like I said, I don't have one." I huff out, I'm getting tired of speaking around in circles._

 _"I can be…" He breathes out, and it takes a minute for my brain to register what he just said._

 _"What?" He shifts again and faces me again, his crimson eyes boring into mine and I can hear his heart beating faster in his chest, he's nervous again but why? Was he serious?_

 _"I can be your… Your boyfriend…"_

 _"That's a nice offer Kai, but you don't have to do that for me, besides I can't pull off a fake relationship with you just in order to stay." Doing that would just hurt even more because it wouldn't be real, and I want real with him._

 _"I'm not doing it just for you!" He bites out and I step back a bit, his temper flares to much and once again I'm wondering why I love him again._

 _"What're you saying then? That it wouldn't just be fake? You… You want to be with me?" My heart soars at the prospect, I had no idea. For him I would stay, I would come out and I would happily be disowned if it meant being with him._

 _"Yeah… I… I like you…" He shrugs a bit and his nervous breathing starts up again, my mouth slightly hangs open at the idea._

 _"Are you pulling my leg or something?" I cock an eyebrow at him, crossing my arms over my chest much like he does._

 _"No! I'm serious Ray, I like you! I have for a while now but… I just… I never thought you'd be leaving again… I don't want you to leave… Because I want… I want you to be with me…" His stumbling is adorable, who knew Kai Hiwatari was so nervous about these types of things._

 _"You're serious? If not Kai please tell me now, because I love you. If this is some joke it'll just hurt more when I do leave, I don't want to leave of course. I didn't think I had another option because I didn't know how you felt, if you're actually serious that is."_

 _"When have I ever not been serious? Why didn't you say something to me sooner, how long… How long have you liked me?" His own eyebrow goes up, his nervousness washes away slightly._

 _"I didn't want to be rejected, you're my friend and my captain and I didn't want that to change. You're too hard to read and understand at times, one minute you're fine being around me and the next you're not. I've always liked you I suppose, maybe not loved you when we first met but you caught my eye when we first met and slowly I fell in love with you." I mumbled around the last part, but it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders now._

 _"Stay then, stay with the team… Stay with me." He reaches out and places his hands on my shoulders, his warmth radiates under his touch and I try not to melt._

 _"If that's what you want, I will." He smiles, an actual genuine smile as he cups my cheek in his hand._

 _"It is what I want." He steps closer, but he doesn't embrace me or kiss me, which is fine._

 _I probably would have died right then and there if he did, I was just happy to know my feelings were returned and now I didn't have to go back to the village. This was what I had wanted, I wanted him to acknowledge me and tell me he wanted me and now I had it and I knew life was going to only get better. Beyond getting disowned by the village and breaking Mariah's heart a little, things were going to be alright for me. I didn't have to leave now, I could stay and be with him and the others._

 _Two months went by after our confessions and it felt like nothing had changed, we never touched or kissed or anything and it was grating on my nerves. Once again, the kids were out, leaving me and Kai in the dojo doing nothing really. He was reading the paper and I was trying to think of ways to actually make our relationship more real. Finally, I had enough and started talking, I don't think he was paying attention to me though. After some heart to heart we shared our first kiss, it was exhilarating and left me breathless and weak. Finally, things were getting better again; but now they're not._

* * *

 **Present Day/ September 20** **th**

I want to stay with him, we've been through so much already over the course of our relationship. On top of the memories of him cheating on me while I was laid up in bed due to my pregnancy and the false memories Brooklyn had placed in me I'm just more confused than I ever have been. He should have been there for me and allowed me to be there for him, the false memories showed me what it would have been like if he had and it only hurts more thinking of what we could have had.

It's been ten years since that's happened and I haven't left his home in Russia, part of me stayed because I don't have a home to go to and the other stayed for our daughter. We don't talk much, having not seen Kain in seven years has only strained us more over the years and as much as I want to rely on him it's hard to. Sometimes I do go to his bed, just because it's familiar and I need the comfort, but I don't know if it means anything anymore.

This time it's him who will tell me he loves me and apologize for what he's done, I can see he means the words he says, and I want to forgive him. He's begged me for my forgiveness and it just makes it harder to hate him, I never really could hate him though. We've both failed each other in some way or another, we failed our first born but have somehow come closer with our second and I can only be grateful for that. He's a great father, making up for the time he lost to parent Kain and it pains me to know that I took that away from him, even if I had a good excuse to do so.

I never finished my schooling once Kain left us again, the stress of him loosing the twins and then him again was too much on me while also having to take care of a three-year-old. Kai helped me get my drivers license a few months after Kain had left again, before I never needed it, but it helps us, so we don't have to rely on him all the time. It took a while, but the upstairs study had been fixed a month after it was destroyed. Two years after Kain had left again, Kai had finally tracked down his wife and they divorced. That night we celebrated, but once again it didn't feel the same as before. That was the first night we had slept together after getting our memories back, after that it just continued every now and then when I felt I couldn't go on without some form of familiar comfort.

It's taken me a while, much longer than either of us have wanted that's for sure, but I've made my decision. I want him, just as I've always wanted him. I can't continue to fight my feelings for him, I can't keep dragging us down like this. I find him in the first-floor study, as always, after having picked Kaira up from school and sending her off to her room upstairs.

"Kai?" I call, stepping through the archway.

"Hn?" He doesn't bother looking up from his computer, so I step closer and stand in front of his desk.

"We need to talk." He glances up briefly and then back down before pushing himself away from the desk, giving me his full attention.

"Okay." He rests into the back of his chair, lowering his glasses he's had to start wearing from his eyesight giving out on him over the years since we're both in our forties now.

"Remember how we first got together?"

"Yeah." He has a slight smirk come to his lips, he was a nervous wreck that night and so was I.

"After all this time… Do you still love me?" I know his answer, because he reminds me almost every day that he does.

"Always will." I smile at him and nod, coming around to sit on the edge of his desk.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry for dragging this out as long as I have, but it's not been easy. Neither of us have made it easy, have we?"

"No." He shakes his head, his smirk leaving his lips, but his eyes stay trained on mine.

"I think we should start over, I think I should stop dancing around you so much and confusing myself and you. I love you, I always have. I don't want to keep living in the past, not when we have Kaira still with us. Wherever Kain maybe, what he's doing out there… When he comes home, I don't want his effort for getting us back together to have gone to waste." He reaches out and places a hand on my knee, at first, he wasn't sure since he never comes to me anymore as it's always me now going to him when I need him.

"I would like that." He says softly, and I place my hand over his.

"Me too." I choke on a sob, and wipe the tears with the back of my other arm not wanting to let his hand go. "I'm sorry it's taken so long."

He doesn't say anything, but his hand leaves my leg and he stands coming between them and cups my face in his hands. Our eyes still held together only closing when our lips touch, the spark has never left me when we kiss, and I lean into him gripping his shirt to pull him closer. We haven't kissed in seven years, but that spark is still there, we never dared to kiss when I would come to him for sex. His touch is still warm and comforting and I purr as he wraps his arms around my neck, drawing me closer and I part my lips for him. The need for oxygen becomes too great and we part, his fingers run through my hair and he rests his forehead against mine.

"Marry me?"

"Yes." I pull him back down to take his lips with mine again, and fall back onto the top of his desk with him over me.


	17. Battlefield

**Last chapter, very pleased with how it came out. Let me know what you think, thank you again to all my readers and followers.  
**

 **The song belongs to SVRCINA, BUT! If you are going to listen to it while reading, I recommend looking up the Nightcore Male version of the song. Both are heavenly and extremely well done, but the male singer just makes it more powerful since Kain is well, a male.**

 **The italics are lyrics to the song, but I only did half of the song where I felt they worked into the chapter.**

 **Enjoy! (have tissues ready.)**

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ Present Day**

 _No time for rest, no pillow for my head, nowhere to run from this, no way to forget. Around the shadows creep, like friends they cover me. Just wanna lay me down and finally try to get some sleep_ _ **.**_

The coldness I had felt on my body dies away, strong arms hold me tight and I let them hold me just a bit longer because I've missed how they've felt. I've missed everything about him, but I haven't forgotten, nor have I forgiven him. My body is too weak to fight him now, and I still can't feel the other me in my head as the drugs are still filtering through my system. The darkness that had us surrounded fades, the warm air of his world greats me like an old friend and he picks me up into his arms holding me to his chest. I struggle to keep my eyes open, but sleep is calling my name and I follow its soothing voice.

When I awoke the next day, it took me a minute to register all that had happened, slowly I sat up in bed. I was still clothed fully, his sheets falling around my waist as I take in the familiar view of his room. To my right is a tray of foods, neatly prepared and awaiting my starving stomach. I ignore them, I don't need his pity and sympathy. I shove myself out of his bed, I can hear him outside and follow the noise of his breathing.

 _We carry on through the storm, tired soldiers in this war. Remember what we're fighting for._

Outside, just down the hill the house sits on he's sitting in the grass staring off into the darkened sky that keeps the world lit. It's still all beautiful, just like the day I had met him. I walk over to him quietly, but he can sense me and slightly turns to greet me but there's no familiar smile or tilt of the head. I keep a good distance between us and he stands facing me, there's no fuel to my anger as I think I've lost all connection with my other self, how I don't know but I miss the other me. He gave me comfort, he helped me get through what I needed and without him I feel weak and useless and emptier than I already had been feeling.

 _Meet me on the battlefield, even on the darkest night. I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage, and you will be mine._

"How do you feel?" Brooklyn begins, though I can't tell if he actually cares.

"What's it matter to you?" I bite back and my fists clench.

"I told you before, that I do care about you Kain."

"LIKE HELL YOU DO!" I cut in on his words, stepping closer and my vision constricts, and I bare my fangs. None of this fazes him in the slightest, even with this anger I still can't feel the other me.

"I can understand why you would think so, but please let me explain." He doesn't move or smile, his words are still carried away in that calm manner I learned to love.

"You left me! You left me for seven fucking years Brooklyn! Our children… Our children aren't here because of YOU!" My voice cracks and tears run down my face, even with the amount of time that's passed it still hurts and I can only suspect that it will always hurt.

"Kain, that's enough right now. Let me explain." He steps closer but it's not threatening, I take a step back though because I don't want him near me, not without the other me and my powers.

 _Echoes of the shots ring out, we may be the first to fall. Everything could stay the same or, we could change it all._ _Meet me on the battlefield._

"That's far enough!" I shout, and he stops. We're within arms reach of each other now and I will every part of my being not to reach out and touch him, to have him touch me.

"I know that I told you I didn't love you, but that was a lie. I do love you Kain, I was afraid of hurting you though. Your power was still unbalanced, and your mind was becoming too unstable, we didn't need love to get in the way of what we should have been focusing on. I failed you as your mentor, because I did fall in love with you. I didn't need it to happen again, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if it happened again…" He mumbles around the last part, shaking his head slightly and I can hear the sadness that carries in his tone.

"I used to love, and all it did was bring pain and death… I loved a man, a long time ago and he loved me very dearly…. My power was still unhinged and uncontrollable, I didn't listen to myself and my lover paid dearly for my mistakes. I couldn't let you lose yourself like I had done, because I would have killed you in order to protect myself." His eyes tear up, but they don't roll down his face. My heart hurts for him, it hurts for the both of us but it's leaving me more confused.

He's already killed me inside, I'm no longer myself and I will never be the same again because of what's happened to me. I haven't been the same since Black Dranzer, I haven't been the same since I met him and fell in love with him. I will always be a shell of my old self.

 _We're standing face-to-face, with our own human race. We commit the sins again, and our sons and daughters pay._

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you more, that I failed you and your father's trust in taking care of you. I wanted to come after you, but I had my hands a bit full." He breathes out a bit more evenly, I still have no words for him and notice I have tears running down my face.

"You still don't get it… Do you?" I shake my head, my arms trembling at my sides as my claws dig into the palms of my hands.

"How can I love you now?! How can I love you or want to accept your apologies after everything you've done?! I can't, do you hear me!? I fucking can't forgive you or myself, we can't do this again! As much as I want to, as much as I still love you, even after all you've done to me!" I scream out, his eyes go wide a bit at my outburst and he looks just as hurt as me.

"I… I… I hate you… You're the first person… The first person I ever loved like this… You used me, hurt me…" I stumble around, my words aren't coming out the way I want them to because my body is wanting to run into him and have him hold me. I hang my head in defeat, my bangs falling around my face as my tears come out in full force.

I'm tired of these feelings, I'm tired of feeling this way about him. I want him to be mine, I have his words of love to go on but how can I be sure he's telling me the truth now? How can I forgive him for what he's done, what I've done?

 _Our tainted history is playing on repeat, but we could change it if we stand up strong and take the lead._ _When I was younger, I was named a generation unafraid. For the heirs to come, be brave._

"I know you hate me, you have every right to. I won't hold it against you in the slightest, I tried to protect you in all the wrong ways because I was afraid." My head shoots up and our eyes lock, he has tears silently running down his own cheeks.

"I was so afraid of killing you, I had to put that wall between us. I was actually happy to know you had become pregnant, but I was listening to my other self. I couldn't show you how happy I was because I feared for our children's lives, I feared for your life." He comes closer, his first step is hesitant towards me and when he can tell I'm not going to back away does he bridge the space between us.

"I would have come to you sooner, so much sooner." He reaches up and touches my left cheek with his hand, he's still so warm, I don't lean into the touch, but I keep my eyes on his.

"I missed you, I've missed you to the point it hurt. You were keeping me at bay though, so I couldn't come to you until you called for me. I took everything from you when I brought you back here, it's gone now and you're free now." I bite my lip to stop the sob, why did he do that for me?

"W… Why?" I stutter out, and he gives me a soft smile, the first since I've seen him since the night before when he rescued me.

"I needed the rest of your power." He rubs his thumb across my cheek, but there's no heat or burn as he wipes away my tears. "I needed it to right the wrong I caused. Doing it on my own has cause a lot of strain on me, but please know I did this for you and only you." He leans closer and presses his lips to my forehead gently, some warmth envelopes us and we're teleported from the field back into the foyer of the mansion.

He stumbles a bit as he pulls away from me, his hand that was on my face goes to my shoulder and I can feel him slightly tremble through that connection we have. He doesn't say anything as he moves to the side of me, a brighter smile had crossed his lips and I watch him carefully. Something doesn't feel right, it's taken me a bit longer to realize it since I no longer have my darkness within me, but after being around him now for so long I can tell something is wrong.

"This way." His hand on my shoulder runs down to hold my hand and he gently tugs me up the stairs, I watch him again, his stumbling has stopped and he's climbing the stairs with the same grace I've known him to have.

We reach the landing, with all the doors before us and he stops at the first one at the landing. His hand leaves mine and fight myself to take it back as he places a hand on the white wood of the door before us, he glances back with the same smile on his lips and pushes the door open. A beautiful white light escapes the room as the door opens, I close my eyes to shield myself because of how sensitive they are to bright lights when slit.

"Here." He takes my hand again and gently pulls me forward, I open my eyes and my vision has gone back to normal, once again he's healed my problems, but that's only one out of many.

I follow his lead into the room, the white light is duller as we step into the room. It's a simple room, all white, it's warm and welcoming. There's nothing on the walls, the carpet is just as white as the walls, almost like snow. We stop in the middle of the room, not having really been paying attention to anything but the aesthetics I chance to look at what Brooklyn is seeing before us.

My breath catches in my throat, my tears want to come back out, but I hold them back. He squeezes my hand in his and I look away at what's before me to look at him, he smiles at me again and then looks back down.

"H… How….?" I manage, my voice cracking. This can't be real, I'm dreaming I have to be.

"I told you I had my hands full… It wasn't easy. With how far along you were, their bodies were fully formed but their internal organs still needed some development… They've been asleep since then, while I make sure they're growing the way they need to. I was running out of my own power, that's why I took yours. With my age, and everything else, if I hadn't I won't be able to be here with you or them. Please forgive me, I would have told you sooner." He reaches out and touches the glass that covers our daughter laying on a white bed before us, she doesn't react but just breathes slowly. Dressed in a simple white tank gown that reaches her ankles.

She's perfect, seven years old and beautiful. Just what I imagined what she'd look like, with his orange-red hair that's splayed around her and the perfect mix of our skin tone. Beside her bed is another, with the same glass domed cover over the top, our son. He has my hair that's styled in a typical crew cut, and my pale skin. Dressed in a white tank and white shorts. I don't know what to say, all I can do is stare at them in awe. Here they are before me, asleep and alive, how he did it I'll never know because I don't need to ask. I'm just more excited to see them here before me, tears are slowly running down my cheeks.

"Are… Are they alright?" I turn to face him as he's looked up from our children to put his focus on me.

"Yes, they're perfectly healthy. Would you like to wake them up?" I can only nod, turning back to our sleeping babes with anticipation welling up inside my stomach.

He takes a step back from our daughter's bed and runs a hand over the top of the glass dome, after his hand comes away she sucks in a mouthful of air as her back arches slightly. Once her body relaxes back down into the mattress her eyes flutter open, they're not teal like I imagined but crimson like mine. She blinks a few times and then smiles at me like she knows who I am, and I smile back.

"They have memories of us, inside them. Their minds have grown just as if they had been awake their seven years of life." He explains to me as he goes to wake our son in the same manner.

I step forward and pull the glass dome off the bed for our daughter, setting it on the floor beside me as she sits up in the bed stretching her arms out. I step back up and sit on her bed, looking her over as if she's going to disappear from me any second.

"What's your name?" I ask, and she smiles warmly at me as her brother wakes up.

"Renee." Her voice is heavenly and sweet, and I just smile brighter at her, how he knew that was the name I had chosen I'll never know either. It surely fit her though, having been reborn the way she has been. All this time, I thought I had lost them.

"C'mere." I hold my arms out and she crawls over to me and wraps her arms around me as I embrace her, she smells like me and the empty feeling I've had all these years is gone.

"Oi, hey dads!" Our son calls out and I will myself not to chuckle, turning around with Renee in my arms to face him. He has Brooklyn's eyes, and as he smiles at me a small fang sticks out from under his upper lip.

"Kail." I smile at him and hold me arm out, so he can come into the hug with his sister.

He jumps at us causing me to slightly falter on the bed, I regain quickly and wrap my children in my arms tighter. Brooklyn comes back around beside me and places a hand on my shoulder gently, starring down at us with that warm smile but I notice his warmth isn't there anymore. My eyes quickly look up to meet his and his teal eyes are dulled in color, my heart drops.

"Brooklyn?" I stutter out and he gently shakes his head.

"I'm alright." He breathes out, but his voice is weak.

"Thank you… I… I thought…" My arms instinctively tighten around our children and he nods his head at me.

"I have one more gift for you." His voice is strong again, but it feels like he's forcing it to be that way as he leans down and captures my lips with his.

I purr, thanking him for giving me our children once more. His lips linger on mine for a second more before a familiar warmth overcomes me, I try to open my eyes as I know he's trying to teleport us somewhere and I want to see where it is we're going but my eyes won't open. His lips leave mine and he whispers to me as he pulls back, but his voice was so weak I couldn't hear what he said. My eyes still won't open and my heart hurts, something isn't right again, and I want to scream out, but I have no voice.

Our children are still in my arms, but I can no longer feel or smell him with us. My head gets heavy as if sleep is creeping up on me, I don't want to sleep though, and I try to fight it with all I have but my body is getting weaker and I can't fight it any longer.

* * *

"Kain, get up or the twins are going to miss the bus!" Papa?

He bangs on the door again a few more times before stepping inside, my vision is a bit blurry as I sit up and blink away the haze. He puts his hands on his hips and sighs out rather loudly, his hair is falling around him down to his knees.

"C'mon Kain, the twins are going to be late if you don't get up." What is he talking about, why is he here, where am I?

I look around, I'm in my room back at dad's house. When did I get here? How does dad know about the twins? I was just with Brooklyn in his world, wasn't I?

"You alright? You look a bit paler than usual." He steps up and I flinch back a bit as he places a hand on my forehead, he sighs out and retracts his hand. "You feel fine, bad dream again?"

"W… What's going on?" I shake my head a bit, that all couldn't have been a dream. I know it wasn't, there's no way.

He frowns a bit and sits beside me on the bed, placing a hand on my shoulder in a comforting gesture. Our eyes meet, and I can tell he's fixing to tell me something I don't want to hear, I don't know if I can handle it right now.

"I know it's not been easy Kain… But please, if you're having nightmares again come talk to your father or me. I can't imagine the pain your going through, losing Brooklyn and all, but please rely on us. You know we're here for you." My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach, how did I lose Brooklyn? He was just with me!

"Papa… H… How? What happened?" I bite back the tears, none of this is making any sense to me.

"The doctors said you might not fully remember the accident, but it happened right before the twins were born. Brooklyn was taking you out for the day, and the car slid on some ice. He didn't make it, you were in the hospital for the remainder of the pregnancy because the twins were under too much stress." As he tells me all of this it's almost as if I can remember that happening, but I know it's just a fake memory placed in my head by Brooklyn, which means he put the same false memories into my fathers. This, this was his last gift to me.

To bring me home, back to my parents with our children to live like nothing ever happened. Like I never left for seven years, living and killing on my own. There's no tug within me, the other me is completely gone and I don't know whether I should be happy or upset about that.

"Papa… How… How are you?" If this was his last gift to me then I'll have to push past the old memories and live this new life he's given me, even if my heart hurts knowing that he is gone and there's nothing I can do.

"I'm doing alright, I have to get Kaira to her doctor's appointment though and you need to get the twins up." He reminds me, standing from my bed.

"Dad." I whisper out and he turns back to me, I reach out and pull him down into me in an embrace.

He doesn't say anything as he wraps his arms around me, running his hands through my hair and I purr for him and I can feel him slightly chuckle.

"Thank you." I whisper out and he pulls away.

"For what?" He cocks an eyebrow at me.

"Everything, thank you." I wipe the tears coming to my eyes and he smiles at me and nods before leaving my room, reminding me again that I have to wake my children up.

I do as he says, excitement bounding in my every step as I go about getting dressed. Letting the false memories planted by Brooklyn to play out like a movie, just so I know what it was he had given me. Everything was the same up to the point where I found out I was pregnant, instead of him shunning me he stayed, and we decided to come back here. Papa and dad were a bit upset about it all at first, but soon they accepted it and we lived with them until the accident. The first set of false memories had been removed and they had worked out their problems on their own, for which I was happy for.

I gave birth three days before my due date; the twins heart rates had dropped drastically, and papa stayed in the operating room with me holding my hand. Renee was born first at seven pounds and eight ounces, while Kail came into the world thirty seconds later at nine pounds exact. I was huge and slightly glad that I hadn't actually experienced that. The twins stayed in the NICU for a night and two days later we were able to go home, Kaira doted on her new nephew and niece like there was no tomorrow. Dad was even dotting on them, and of course papa was doing the same.

Our lives had been pretty normal, these false memories given to me warmed my heart, but they hardly did anything to settle the slight ache I had. When the twins were two dad and papa got married, and I was the best man. Kaira made a beautiful flower girl, and all of their old friends came to attend. Tyson came up to me and gave me his condolences on losing Brooklyn, saying he knew how I felt since his older brother Hiro had died in the same kind of accident, while Brooklyn was the one who walked away from it.

The rest of the memories came flooding in causing me to stumble a bit against my dresser, having to hold onto it for support. I could feel my old memories slipping, being replaced by the new ones and tears streamed down my cheeks again because I didn't want to lose those memories, it felt like I was losing him all over again and I clung to what I could.

Our son is like me, always getting into trouble and pulling pranks on his grandfathers while our daughter is quite and reserved like him. She doesn't share all the traits of a neko-jin, while Kail has more of them even though they're both not even half. They've made good friends and grades at school, I was always a bright kid when it came to that and that wasn't such a surprise to me. As the last of the false memories sink in, I regain my footing and stand up straighter.

I step out of my room, taking in the long-forgotten scent of my home and smiling inwardly at it all. I can hear papa and Kaira getting ready to leave, dad is in the kitchen downing coffee, while I pick up the breathing patterns of my children in their rooms down the hall from my old room.

Kail bounces out of bed, excited for the day while Renee is the harder one to wake up until her brother comes in and pounces on her. She smacks him across the face and I wince at the sound but laugh at them as they start to argue, closing the door on them with threats so they get ready faster and I head downstairs.

"Morning son." Dad glances at me as I step into the kitchen, as always, he's at the head of the table sipping his coffee and reading a newspaper, his glasses looking like they're ready to fall off the end of his nose.

"Hey dad." I chime to him, flashing him a toothy grin as I go and pick out my own cup of coffee, taking my place beside him on the left.

We sit in silence until papa comes in announcing that he's leaving as I can hear the twins rushing down the stairs that sit on the other end of the kitchen, still in their small argument.

"That's enough!" I bark out and they go quiet as they come down, Kail jumps the last step and Renee nods meekly at me before they go about to grabbing some cereal and sitting at the table with us.

"I'll see you all later, love you." Papa chimes in, coming up to dad and they share a kiss quickly before he sweeps out of the kitchen. Kaira hugs dad tightly before following papa, I sit back into my chair and sigh as I listen to papa drive away.

"You alright?" Dad cocks an eyebrow at me and I nod.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Better hurry up, we have to get to work soon. I'll see you there son." He finishes his coffee and stands, ruffling Kail and Renee's hair as he passes by them to the sink.

He leaves us, but not before ruffling my own hair as he walks past me. My children laugh at me and I give them all a glare to get them to finish their cereal a bit faster, they take the hint and finish as dad's car pulls out of the drive and down the road. The twins finish their breakfast and I walk them down to the bus stop, for once there isn't a foot of snow on the ground and it's slightly warmer out than I was expecting. I kiss them each goodbye on the tops of their heads before they board the bus, the driver nods to me and his blue bangs fall a bit into his brown eyes before he closes the doors and drives down the road as I nod back to him.

Stuffing my hands in my pants pockets I head back home to begin this new life of mine.

* * *

 **What did you think? I cried writing most of it out, listening to that song on repeat really got to me.**

 **For those of you who might be a bit confused, Kain was 13 weeks pregnant when he miscarried, looking up pictures of what the baby looks like in the womb at that stage they are perfectly formed, their internal organs are not though, and thus why Brooklyn had them in 'incubation.' They aged normally while under the 'incubation' period, since he was gone for seven years they are seven.**

 **Hope you all have enjoyed this fic as much as I have, it's become my favorite to write.**

 **I'll have an epilogue up tomorrow since it's 2 am my time.**

 **Thank you all again who have taken the time to follow, stop by and check it out, all that good stuff.**

 **Until next time!**


	18. Love Exists

**Song belongs to Evanescence**

* * *

 **Kain's POV/ 8 Years Later**

 _Your son is a wild one, he keeps us all on our toes and one days he's going to start breaking bones like I did at his age. Now I wish I had been better behaved for papa, then maybe I wouldn't have been cursed so badly in having such a wild child. Your daughter reminds me so much of you, but if Kail gets on her nerves she turns into me and doesn't take anyone's crap. She's graceful in everything she does, I think she might become a dancer when she's old enough. Kail, I have no idea what he might do, but as long as it has nothing to do with glass or pointed objects I think I'll be able to breathe a bit easier._

 _I miss you, I really do. Even with these fake memories you've given me I still remember the old you, the old me and the things we did and the chaos we caused. I'm glad you found me all those years ago, I would have been so much more lost without you. Thank you for giving me this, giving me our children back and giving me a reason to live and to smile again. I wish things had gone better than they had, that you could be here with me to see your children grow up. You're not though, and I don't hate you as much as I used to. Doing what you've done for me, us, has only caused me to love you that much more._

 _I don't think I'll ever love someone as much as I do you, right now my focus is on our children though and I'm not complaining. Dad keeps me just as busy at work, I really don't have time to do anything else but be a parent. Maybe one day I'll find someone who will love me and our children the same way I do, the way I know you would want them to be loved. Today is not that day, and neither is tomorrow and maybe not even next month. Right now, I just want to enjoy the now and be there with my family. You've given me that, and so much more._

"Hey dad, you ready to go?" Kail comes up to me on my right with Renee on my right, placing a bouquet of flowers at the foot of the headstone I've been standing over, having been staring at Brooklyn's name inscribed over it.

Kail stands just under my chin, where Renee reaches my chest. They're both slender in form, both have strong long legs like I have. Kail's hair is wild on the top half the time, but for today he slicked it back around the buzzed part of the back of his head. Renee's hair reaches the center of her back hanging loosely around her, her bangs framing her face on one side.

"Yeah." I nod, and they both slip an arm around mine.

We turn around to walk away, papa dad and Kaira waiting not too far off from where I had been standing. Papa smiles warmly at me; his raven hair has dulled into almost the same color as the front part of dad's now. While the back of dad's hair has gone almost white, making it look like he has one color instead of two. Kaira is slightly taller than Renee, her dark raven hair is braided over her shoulder, her slate bangs held back by a headband, her two-colored eyes shining brightly at us.

My children and I step up to the rest of our family, papa comes up and pulls us all in a hug and kisses my cheek, having to stand on his toes in order to reach. He pulls back, and dad steps up, ruffling my hair and then embracing me quickly. Kaira grabs around my waist and squeezes before turning to her niece and nephew.

"You have everything you need?" Papa asks, always so worried about me after all these years.

"Yeah. I'll call you all when we land." I smile at him and he nods.

"You better, don't make me come there just to make sure you're alright." He bites playfully, and I laugh at him. "Don't forget to use sunscreen, you'll look like a lobster if you don't." Dad and I snort but I nod to him again all the same.

"I won't, I promise."

"Kitten, they have to go now, or they'll miss their plane." Dad steps up, placing a hand on papa's shoulder.

"Alright, alright." Papa huffs out, patting dad's hand on his shoulder before embracing us again. "Get going then, we'll see you in a month." He pulls back, letting dad wrap his arms around his shoulders.

"Bye pops, bye granddad." Kail calls as he rushes over to my car, taking the front seat before his sister can.

"Bye, love you guys." Renee calls, following her brother and slipping into the back.

"Bye dads, I'll make sure to call…. When you're ready to come out, give me a call to let me know. Love you." I start to back away, but it feels like I shouldn't be leaving just yet. I haven't left my parents like this in so long, it's almost heartbreaking even if only for a month.

"We will, you all go and enjoy that warm Hawaiian sun. We'll see you in a month." Papa shoos me off and I nod before walking back to my car, sending them a wave over the top of the car before settling into it.

As I pull away from the cemetery I glance back into the review mirror, they're all still standing there with Papa wrapped securely in dad's embrace while Kaira is waving us goodbye still. Eventually I can no longer see them in the mirror as I pull out onto the main road, the twins already starting up in conversation about what Hawaii will be like. I plan to take them to the hotel their father and I stayed in, take them to the beach and see the rest of the island. Papa and dad will come next month with Kaira, giving me and my kids our time and them their time.

It'll be our first family vacation for all of us, something I had wanted to do for a long time now. None of it would have been possible if it wasn't for Brooklyn doing what he did, even all those years ago, nothing would have gone the way it had if not for him. I wipe the stray tear that rolls down my cheek, neither child notices it as they're still engrossed in their conversation and a smile forms on my lips.


	19. Save Me

**Save Me is by Renegade Five. Been listening to a lot of their songs recently and a few ideas started spinning in my head and voila, here's this.  
Do enjoy. **

* * *

**Kain's POV**

"Marvelous Kain, it appears you're getting the hang of this a lot faster than I was expecting." Brooklyn smiles at me as he claps his hands, and I smile back and look at the tree I had just uprooted and threw across the field.

The other me is burning, like he always does as when we train. Over the years it's gotten easier to do this, my body no longer feels tired after trying something new or if we push ourselves to far. Brooklyn's smile fades a bit and I noticed the darkness in his eyes when they open, living with him all these years has told me that's his tug calling to him and he'll be leaving for the real world in order to kill.

 **"Ask him to take you!"** The other me is whispering in my ear, and I try to shake him out of my head.

 _"You know he'll say no."_ Three years with Brooklyn, and he has yet to let me go with him and every time he denies me it takes all I can to control the other me from destroying something within his home.

"That should be enough training for today, what do you say?" Brooklyn asks, the darkness that was in his eyes is gone now and I nod to him and we teleport back into the mansion at the same time.

 **"If he leaves us behind, I'll kill him when he comes back."** The other me threatens and it's not the first time he's made that empty threat.

 _"You know I wouldn't allow you to do that."_

"Kain? Are you alright?" Brooklyn asks, cutting through the other's words in my head and I look up to meet his teal eyes with my own.

"Yeah…" I try to smile at him, but it doesn't really come out as strong as it should have, and he notices.

"I was thinking… Since you've been able to train a lot better that you should come with me, replenish yourself some." He starts, but he looks nervous.

"Are you sure? What… What if I mess up, or we get caught?" The other me is already cheering and shrilling out with excitement, while I'm trying not to visibly shake under the prospect of actually killing someone now.

"I'll be there, we'll be safe." He says and before I can answer he starts up the stairs, I watch him go while my heart is racing in my chest.

Later that night he came to my room, telling me he was ready. I sat down the book I had been reading and spaced the gap between us from my bed to where he was standing at the door. My wish-room is always done as the one back at Kai's home, and over the years it's actually helped me not miss my fathers so much. It's been two years since I've seen them, I'm now eighteen and even though I'm older Brooklyn has yet to take me to his bed yet. I'm not going to push him though, I don't know how either of us will act if that happens. We kiss and grope at one another, but nothing serious yet and I can feel myself actually falling in love with him.

"Don't worry, I'm right here." He whispers in my ear and I try not shake, his left hand cups my cheek and I lean into his warmth as his lips cover mine and he takes us to the real world.

When the darkness fades we're left out in the open street, lights all lined up and down the road and it's rather warm. I don't know where we are, like I always do. It's never the same place twice, nor do I really bother to ask since it won't matter because we won't be here long.

"Where do we start?" I ask and I'm trying to hide my nervousness, the other me is bouncing around in the back of my mind and shouting with excitement.

"Hm… Why don't we try that club down the road?" He points behind me, so I turn to see where it is he's pointing to.

It's a large building, nestled between several others with bright lights dancing against the front. Even down the road where I'm standing I can see the line of people waiting to get in, the music slightly reaches my hearing and I just nod. I don't really have any complaints, I won't be able to drink but at least it's a place to start.

"What am I supposed to do?" I ask as he starts towards the club.

"Nothing, let me handle it first." He tells me, making sure to look at me as he talks.

"Alright." I go quiet after that and follow him down the road till we're standing on the other side of the line, I can feel the people's eyes bearing down at us.

The bouncer, a tall man with dark hair and a beard stands in front of the door with his arms over his chest. He looks like he could break Brooklyn in two, his arms are huge and he's taller than either of us. Brooklyn locks eyes with the man and I can feel a surge of warmth in the air, no one else can feel it and the bouncer just steps aside and motions for us to move inside the doors. The others at the front of the line moan and groan as we walk in, I don't bother to look at them or care.

"Can you teach me that?" I ask to him once we're inside.

"In time. No drinking, you need a sound mind for this." He warns and starts off for the bar of all things, I don't know what else to do but act as his shadow and follow him.

"What do you want me to do?" I ask him as he sits down, I stay standing behind him trying to dull out the loudness of the music that's vibrating the floor and walls.

"Go dance." He tells me, and I don't like that gleam in his eyes.

"Okay…" I go out to the sunken dance floor, the smell of sweat and alcohol penetrating my senses and it's making my head hurt.

The beat is a simple one that I can find the rhythm to, trying to stay in Brooklyn's line of sight amongst the rest of the bodies as they're just gyrating around me. I don't want to look out of place and start to dance, I'm not particularly fond of it, but I do it anyways. A few girls and men come up to me and dance against me, either grabbing my ass or grinding into my pelvis but no one stays around too long.

It goes on like this for a while, I'm still dancing out here, for how long I have been I don't know, all the while I've tried to keep my sights on Brooklyn. He's still at the bar, no drink in his hand and I can see that darkness in his eyes as he's scanning the club. For once he doesn't look like the peaceful being I've come to know him as, he looks untouchable and it's actually frightening to see how hard his expression is set on his face.

A man steps up to him and I feel a tinge of anger swell in me, Brooklyn turns and talks to the man casually. The music is so loud I can't hear what they're saying, nor can I read their lip movements. The anger in me spikes as the man places a hand on Brooklyn's shoulder and he doesn't pull away or seem like he minds it being there, the anger burns inside me, and I go to move towards them when Brooklyn's eyes shift to me quickly. He pins me there with his stare and I step back, he gives me a soft smile so I back down and resume my dancing. What for I don't know, but the anger is still there and now the other me is cursing about the man still talking with Brooklyn.

My eyes never leave the two as I dance out in the crowd, only snapping to someone coming up behind me and grabbing me around my waist and grinds into my backside.

"Mmm, you smell wonderful." The man breathes in my ear, his breath stinks of alcohol and the anger in me doubles.

"Get. Off." I threaten with a growl, but he doesn't move back only closer until he's fully pressed against me.

I glance over towards Brooklyn and his eyes are narrowed, but he doesn't move aside by nodding his head. What is that supposed to mean?! The man forces me around to where our fronts are now pressed together, he's taller than me by about two feet and he's downright ugly looking. He has tattoos all over his face, he had no hair and his septum is pierced.

"How old are you beautiful?" The man asks as he grinds his hips into mine, making sure his hands are gripping the back of my shirt tightly and I can't move.

I want to burn him, I want to scorch him alive, but I can't with all these people here. I have to trust Brooklyn, it's what he told me to do, so I will myself to try and smile and not gag on the man's breath.

"Just turned eighteen three months ago, what's it to you?" I ask, making sure my pupils don't slit.

"Ah, a young one. I like them like that." He says and bends down, running his tongue along my cheek and I push him off of me.

"Back OFF!" I don't know how much longer I can take holding the other me back, I look over to where Brooklyn was sitting and he's no longer there.

My heart stops, where the hell did he go?! I try to look around me quickly, trying to pick up his warmth or scent but I can't, not with all these bodies and the noise I can't find him. The man laughs, and it sends chills down my spine and he grabs me again quickly, forcing his mouth upon mine and before I knew it. I tried to teleport away from him, anywhere but there, but little did I know that doing so would just take him with me.

Out of the club and in some alleyway, I was more scared, the other me trying to break free with all he could. I wanted to let him out, let him kill because I could feel it within myself as well. I wanted this bastard dead for having touched me, I wasn't his to touch. I pushed him off, making sure not to burn him as I did so even though I really wanted to.

"Get away from me!" I screamed, he just smirked at me and his eyes shimmered with something. "I mean it! Get away!" I took a step back from him, almost tripping over a box behind me as he just stepped forward.

"Playing hard to get will get you nowhere, you know." He reached out, and he was faster than I was anticipating since he was drunk off his ass.

His large hand clamped down on my arm and I lost it, the other me taking over and our body heat sky rocketed to a boiling point. The man screamed, jerking his hand away and holding it toward his face to inspect. My vision constricted, pupils slitting as my anger was no longer controllable.

 **"I told you to stay away."** The other me sneered, and the man looked from his burnt hand to us with fear in his eyes.

"H… How?" He asked, and we didn't bother answering him as our power came out from out body.

The gray-blue smog encircled us, it was soothing, more soothing than it had ever felt before and we shot it towards the man as he screamed. Like a knife the power shot through his torso in one stream, while another branched out and struck him between the eyes. The rush, the warmth I felt was too much and I drank it up. Wanting more of this thrill we jumped on the man, pinning him to the ground. My claws dug into his flesh, his blood coating my nails as our power came out and held his arms out to his sides. It pinned them down, sinking through flesh and bone into the concrete below him. He screamed again as he tried to free himself, more of our power came out and pinned his legs in the same fashion as his arms.

I dug my fingers into his eye sockets, blood spurt out and the thrill was becoming too much but I didn't want to back out, not now. I could feel the man's life slipping away, while my own body seemed to become stronger. My vision was coming in spurts now, black then back to the dying man below me. His breathing stopped, blood spurting out of his mouth in his last breaths and I sat back on his waist. My power still pinning him down, blood pooled around under his body.

My ears perked, the black haze that had been clouding my vision didn't let me see who it was who was approaching, and I jerked off the man's waist and spun, claws outstretched at the person foolish enough to come around. A hand caught my wrist mid strike, the familiar warmth and scent invading my senses.

"Calm down Kain." Brooklyn coaxed, but how could he expect me to be calm?

 **"You!"** We sneered at him, drawing the power we still held at our back and willing it to come at him.

I'm not surprised that he blocked them, his own black and white power coming out and stopping the attacks from all four sides where I had willed it to hit him.

"It's alright now, I'm here." He calmly said again, my vision was coming back, and he wasn't smiling at me. His own pupils were slit, in a more finer point than my own. "You need to calm down, now." His voice changed, holding a stern undertone to it but I didn't give a damn.

My other fist flew up at his face, once again he blocked it and held onto it firmly. I pulled back, growling in my throat as my power tried to attack him again. The other me was in control, I would have stopped if I had the reigns of my actions but all I could do was sit back and watch. I felt fear of what Brooklyn may do to us, the other me was begging for this fight to happen. A part of me must have slipped through, only slightly pulling the other me back as tears came out of my eyes.

"You… You left me! – **How dare you use me as bait!"** I pushed against him, freeing my right arms from his hold and before I could strike him I came back, pushing the other away.

I don't know how I did it, but I knew I didn't want to harm him in anyway. I had to protect him from myself, all the while trying to protect myself from him. Our chests were touching as I had lunged at him, my hand still hovering over by the side of his head with my claws outstretched. He didn't move or flinch away, his warmth over taking me and it was calming me down, if only slightly.

"It's alright now." He cooed once again, this time gently wrapping his arms around my waist.

Upon the contact my power from behind me disappeared, his warmth quenching my anger as tears kept running down my face. My hands were covered in blood, my body ached from the expense of using so much power at one time and my pupils had yet to return to normal. Brooklyn pulled me closer, molding our bodies together and I lowered my hand that was ready to strike around his neck. He released my other wrist and I flung that one around his neck as well, resting my head against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry." I cried out, biting my lower lip to stop the sobs as I trembled against him.

"It's alright, you're alright now." He drew small patterns on my back over my shirt, soothing me more and I fought myself to stay awake from his touching.

"Take me home."

I didn't have to ask him twice and immediately he took us to his world, being there already calmed me down but I didn't want to let him go. It seemed that he didn't want to let me go either as he still held me in his arms. I killed a man, I had finally done it and I didn't feel bad about it. Truth be told, it was something I had always wanted to do, something I NEEDED to do.

I only pulled away enough to capture his lips with mine, his eyes went wide for a bit, but he eventually closed them and pressed against mine harder. A flare of heat surged across my body from the heels of my feet to the top of my head, I purred so loud it shook my body and I could feel his lips smirk against mine.

"Take me." Having to break away for a bit of air, my voice was raspy, and his eyes danced over my face for a moment before he closed the gap again with his lips pushing into mine.

It was rough at first, I was afraid my fangs would scrape his lips, but he was careful and avoided hurting himself. I ground my hips against his, getting tired of just being touched and kissed, even though every touch ignited another surge within me and his kissing was nothing to complain about. My shirt was the first thing to go, parting just enough to get it off before I pushed into his lips again. That action caused us to fall over into the grass of the field of his world, even with him landing on his back he didn't stop kissing me as his tongue roamed my mouth and I purred again.

He left me breathless, every touch he placed on my bare skin just excited me more. He was gentle, too gentle, and eventually my pleas were answered, and he took me more roughly under the black void of his world. We laid together afterwards in the grass, sleep was creeping up on me, but I fought it away and crawled over his still naked waist.

"Again." I commanded, and he obliged without any protests.

The second and third time only made me that much more left in a world of pleasure, eventually we lost control and we burned each other. It hurt, and the marks were searing with so much pain I had to pull away from him, his eyes were wide, and he looked at me with nothing but concern in those beautiful teal eyes of his.

"I'm so sorry Kain. Let me heal them for you." He put his hand out to touch me and I flinched back from him. "Please, if you don't it won't go away. Trust me." His voice was pleading, and to be honest I don't even know why I had moved away from him to begin with.

I nodded, leaning back towards him on his waist and his hands came over my chest where the marks were. A soft white glow came out from under his hand as he brushed it along my skin, the burn marks seared, and I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming and crying in pain. Soon the pain left and so did the marks, that was when I noticed his burn marks on his chest and neck.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." I said, staring at the marks I left on his fair skin.

"I'm fine, but we should stop now."

I could do nothing but nod to him, pulling myself away from him and gathering my clothes of the ground. I turned back around to catch him healing himself, and I felt guilt wash over me.

"You have to teach me that."

"I will, but not tonight." He said as his hand dropped to his side. "Let's get some rest now." He came towards me, placing a gentle hand on my lower back and kissing my cheek before he ushered me towards the mansion.

That night was the first I had slept in his bed, curled up against his bare chest as he had only put his pants back on after what we did out in the field. For the first time I hadn't had a nightmare, I slept peacefully beside him and actually content with how my life was going now even if I missed my fathers dearly.

Two months had passed us by and I was lost in a fit of happiness and joy, I didn't know what to do with myself and all I could do was just smile at Brooklyn like a dumbass whenever he was near. We slept with each other more often, until one night he hadn't returned home after following a tug of his. I had been too scared to go with him, the other me had been quiet the past months and I didn't need him coming back any time soon to rip away this happiness I had within me.

That night I tossed and turned, feeling a familiar warmth overtake me and the soft sheets of Brooklyn's bed were no longer touching me, and I was standing in a hallway. It was dark, the smell was familiar but somehow, I didn't recognize the place right away. Down the barely lit hallway a door opened, and my breath caught in my throat.

"Papa?" His eyes grew wide upon him seeing me, and I went to step forward towards him and he took one back.

"Don't." He warned, his voice quivering with fear. "What have you done?" He whispered out, his eyes tearing up as they shifted towards my hands.

That was when I felt the blood running down my fingers, I looked down and tried to shake it off. It clung to me like glue, no matter how hard I shook my hands the blood wouldn't come off and I started tremble.

"Papa, papa help me!" I called out to him, my head jerking back up to look at him, but he wasn't there. "Papa?!" I cried out and the lights went out plunging me into complete darkness.

The floor beneath my feet caved and I fell through, screaming and yelling as I tried to reach up for something to stop my fall. I could feel the air rush up around me as I fell, my heart racing faster in my chest as I could feel the air turning hot and it burned my skin away.

"PAPA!" I cried out again, my voice only echoing back to me as a light started to appear under me.

I looked down to where I was falling into the light only to realize that it was a large fire I was fixing to plummet into. Once again, I was trying to grab at anything as I fell, more frantically as I called out for my father and Brooklyn. Nothing happened, and my fingers only touched the darkness but nothing solid, my body fell into the fire. The flames licked at my skin and I couldn't control the screams that escaped my lips, I tried to pull out of it but by then my skin was already melting off.

"PAPA!" I called out one last time, my body jerking up in a sweat.

My door burst open, papa standing there looking ready to kill something as he stood there in my doorway. I couldn't get a hold of my breathing, it was erratic, and it felt like my heart was about to rip out of my chest.

"Another nightmare?" Papa asked soothingly as he came and sat down beside me, stroking my hair out of my face as it had clung to my forehead from the sweat.

I nodded, trying to suck in as much air as I could. My arms were shaking, my entire body was shaking, and I prayed I hadn't woken up my children down the hall. It's been three years, why now, why would I be having nightmares again after three years after Brooklyn had given me this new life?

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked, still petting my hair and now I had control of my breathing.

"No… No that's fine… I'm going to check on the twins."

"You sure?" He asks, stepping away from my bed so I can get out of it.

The sheets are soaked from my sweat and the cold air stings my wet skin, I stumble a bit as I try to catch my bearings, so I can walk to my children's room. Papa doesn't stop me, but he follows closely behind me as I make my way to the twin's room.

"If you need me, just come downstairs." With that he starts back down the hall for the stairs, I watch him go until I can't see him any longer and push open the bedroom door.

Kail sprawled out on his bed, his sheets tangled around his legs and his mouth is hanging open as he's snoring. Renee is curled up with her back turned to him in her own bed, it's closest to the window and her sheets are pulled up around her shoulders. I move over and stand at the feet of their beds, having shifted Kail and covered him back up.

They look so peaceful, content and happy in their sleep. My heart hurts looking down at them, at the red-orange hair that belonged to Brooklyn on our daughter. I wipe the few stray tears that fall down my cheeks, I go quietly and lean against the wall that my children's beds are placed on and sit down between them.

Sensing my presence my children begin to stir and before I know it they're both climbing down from their beds, wrapping their arms around my neck and leaning against my sides. I pull my arms around them and hold them closer, they go right back to sleep and I smile, even if it's a weak painful one. Even though I'm tired, I'm afraid of closing my eyes and going back to sleep. There's something in the back of my mind, and it's all too familiar and unwelcomed.

* * *

 **The spurts of power Kain had coming from his back kind of reflect Kaneki's 'tails' from Tokyo Ghoul, how he has four of them and they emerge from his back side.**

 **There is also a drawing on Deviantart that kind of inspired me to write this, the artists name is dishwasher1910, the drawing is called Downfall. Looking at it myself, I seriously saw Kain and Brooklyn standing there and thus I took inspiration from it for their 'fight'.**

 **Everything before Ray came in was a dream/ nightmare.  
I do hope you all enjoyed this, I might do more, I don't know yet.  
Till next time.**


End file.
